Do you like repeating yourself to a certain person?

By SS
Zagreb, Croatia (Hrvatska)
July 14, 2019 9:46am CST
Let me put it this way I have a friend who always has to repeat herself to a certain parent. Is her way of talking too fast for her parent or this parent just doesn't listen to her, it's hard to tell. Many times, people are only physically with us while their minds are wondering. On the other hand, when my friend gets mad abut being in the same situation over and over again (being taken not seriously), this parent apologies very deeply yet, does that every time, again. This friend already stated that she doesn't like to repeat herself, constantly. And, when the parent repeats itself, for its stories, it's impatient of how the other side doesn't get it and has to explain it or repeat it one more time. And, yes, while my friend talks, the parent isn't doing anything so, it hasn't got any distraction. For my friend, this is very frustrating burden, for several years. Any advice?
13 people like this
17 responses
@DianneN (125331)
• United States
14 Jul
It can be due to many things, including dementia, distractions, language barriers, or just poor communication skills. It is tedious to have to repeat things over and over to the same person. Some are only half listening.
3 people like this
• Zagreb, Croatia (Hrvatska)
17 Jul
You said that right, half listening. It would be so much better if the parent confesses to continue the conversation the next time or so, right?
1 person likes this
@DianneN (125331)
• United States
17 Jul
@moonandstars Sometimes the parent is worse than the student.
1 person likes this
• Zagreb, Croatia (Hrvatska)
13 Aug
@DianneN Exactly. You have to accept it just, it happens on and on
1 person likes this
• Wheat Ridge, Colorado
14 Jul
I have to do this every day. I feel the person is missing out on life not listening.
3 people like this
• Zagreb, Croatia (Hrvatska)
17 Jul
I mean, the reason that parent can't concenrate is getting old or something other, right?
1 person likes this
@Nevena83 (31292)
• Serbia
15 Jul
It really can be frustrating.
1 person likes this
• Zagreb, Croatia (Hrvatska)
17 Jul
It's like talking to a wall, if you get me
1 person likes this
@Nevena83 (31292)
• Serbia
17 Jul
@moonandstars Yes, I understand what you're talking about.
1 person likes this
• Zagreb, Croatia (Hrvatska)
13 Aug
@Nevena83 I don't know how people lived with their parents before
1 person likes this
• Preston, England
15 Jul
My mum does it a lot - it can be worrying and sometimes annoying too
1 person likes this
• Zagreb, Croatia (Hrvatska)
17 Jul
It can, so much, while the other side is perfectly concentrated the other is wondering, somewhere How are you venting out after this kind of conversations?
1 person likes this
• Preston, England
17 Jul
@moonandstars I bite my tongue and avoid telling her she already said something as she usually denies it and resents it if she gets corrected
1 person likes this
• Zagreb, Croatia (Hrvatska)
13 Aug
@arthurchappell My friend keeps getting endless sorrys. It's very tiring.
1 person likes this
@just4him (166287)
• Green Bay, Wisconsin
14 Jul
Maybe the parent needs hearing aids and really does need for her to repeat what she said. There are many times I need things repeated. I don't need hearing aids yet, but sometimes it sounds like the person is mumbling and I can't understand a word of what was said.
1 person likes this
• Zagreb, Croatia (Hrvatska)
17 Jul
That's true just my friends says the parent says she is listening just, can't thing that fast. Clearly, she doesn't. O, when mumbling starts, I also can't hear it properly. I guess, this is a flaw in parent's character and, it always will be. It's good for my friend to have a good heart so, she can't be mad for a long time yet, the parent should appreciate her more.
1 person likes this
@just4him (166287)
• Green Bay, Wisconsin
17 Jul
@moonandstars I wouldn't call it a flaw in the parent's character. They both need to be aware of speaking clearly so repetition is limited.
1 person likes this
• Zagreb, Croatia (Hrvatska)
13 Aug
@just4him Well, if one side is trying too hard and other not then, what is it?
1 person likes this
@Nakitakona (11244)
15 Jul
For emphasis, yes, it's worth repeating. Just like what you have mentioned. They're physically present but mentally absent.
1 person likes this
• Zagreb, Croatia (Hrvatska)
17 Jul
I wish the parent confesses or stops the conversation cause, the relation will always be fragile due to half listening
1 person likes this
@Nakitakona (11244)
17 Jul
@moonandstars And it's useless.
1 person likes this
• Zagreb, Croatia (Hrvatska)
13 Aug
@Nakitakona You're so right.
1 person likes this
@Sojourn (6382)
• India
10 Aug
It happens with my dad almost all the time and a few times with my mom too. But, I know it is normal in their age.
1 person likes this
• Zagreb, Croatia (Hrvatska)
13 Aug
Are they also in their 60s? Yes, this happens with my friend's dad as well and, it's sometimes too much. She's not a wall.
1 person likes this
@Sojourn (6382)
• India
14 Aug
@moonandstars My dad has crossed 60.
1 person likes this
• Zagreb, Croatia (Hrvatska)
21h
@Sojourn I see. Yet, that's still young to me
1 person likes this
@ShifaLk (16208)
• India
15 Jul
Simply when someone don't listen to me so I prefer to Talk Less with the person or Talking only what required.. that means not explaining anything but just answering whatever they ask
1 person likes this
• Zagreb, Croatia (Hrvatska)
17 Jul
That's right, that's what the friend does as well yet, this parent then asks is everything ok. I mean, ah, right?
1 person likes this
@ShifaLk (16208)
• India
17 Jul
@moonandstars oh yeah. It's better to be quiet sometimes than to be ignored
1 person likes this
• Zagreb, Croatia (Hrvatska)
13 Aug
@ShifaLk An the friend does that still, the parent is acting or too sorry and just keep asking 100 questions, without realising it's nor desirable to do that.
@Corbin5 (152566)
• United States
14 Jul
The hardest time for my sister and me was when our dad developed dementia. We repeated things so many times that we became exhausted after every visit. Dad would ask the same question a hundred times and we would answer with the same answer one hundred times.
1 person likes this
• Zagreb, Croatia (Hrvatska)
17 Jul
O, that's really tough, I'm sorry. I think my friend's parent doesn't have a dementia (when she repeats something for 3 times only) yet, it gets tiring. The friend feels like the entertainer and not the daughter.
1 person likes this
@Corbin5 (152566)
• United States
17 Jul
@moonandstars My sister and I were exhausted after each visit.
1 person likes this
• Zagreb, Croatia (Hrvatska)
13 Aug
@Corbin5 I could only imagine and, I applaud you for enduring that.
1 person likes this
• Santa Rita, Venezuela
5 Aug
Tolerance plays a crucial role in that problem, sometimes we just ignore and tolerate even if we don't think just enough, but in the end we can have the love we have in people and our affinity.
1 person likes this
• Zagreb, Croatia (Hrvatska)
7 Aug
I love this particular word, affinity. That's what should be all about, just like some respect. Thank you for answering
@smileyhema (3599)
• United States
17 Jul
Yeah. It happens to me as well. I mean I don't like to repeat the statement many a times to anyone. I'm quite comfortable with good listeners. If it's because of my communication, I might try to accept and repeat it again. If it's because they lost track of my conversation in their imagination land, I would rather move on saying a "Thank You!". I'm not for the person who don't be(mentally be) with me when I say something.
1 person likes this
• Zagreb, Croatia (Hrvatska)
13 Aug
This comment is so on the point. Exactly. Maybe it's better to silence yourself, which my friend had done yet, the parent acts like she doesn't understand what's with my friend and then starts asking her 100 questions, like nothing happened. Even in school, when someone ignores, we would moved and go to the next friend. Is that hard?
@SIMPLYD (90224)
• Philippines
15 Jul
Maybe the parent is already having a dementia. That's how it is with my mother-in-law now. So, we really have to be so patient. She repeats a question and saying a thing for about more than 6 times. And she won't accept at all that she's forgetful but just say to the person she's talking with that she' is just testing the memory of that person.
1 person likes this
• Zagreb, Croatia (Hrvatska)
17 Jul
That's interesting. O, patience isn't my friend's middle name yet, she will have to try, thank you
1 person likes this
@CarolDM (36437)
• United States
14 Jul
We seem to have all been there and experienced this. It happens for many reasons.
1 person likes this
• Zagreb, Croatia (Hrvatska)
17 Jul
And, how are you venting out after this kind of conversations?
• Bangalore, India
14 Jul
Well, I guess perhaps being slow while talking to her parent and making it more interactive might slow down the things. I have always ensured that instead of repeating things to people, I make the conversation interactive. The big advantage of this strategy is that you would be able to make the other person recollect the conversation, at a later point of time. Plus, repetition can be avoided at all cost.
• Zagreb, Croatia (Hrvatska)
17 Jul
O, my friend does that a lot yet, parent always says something different and confusing
@raveeen (3175)
14 Jul
I think that's normal(?) I also know some persons who always repeats themselves I think that really happens when we all age hehe. just my opinion
1 person likes this
• Zagreb, Croatia (Hrvatska)
17 Jul
O, that poor word, we mention her so much. Does she deserve all that mentioning, I wonder
@BloggerDi (1831)
• United States
14 Jul
I think your friend should evaluate the the situation with more concern about her parent's mental health (ability to comprehend what is being said) and physical health (possible hearing problems). I can understand why she feels frustrated and impatient, but you said that the parent apologizes all the time, so it seems that he or she really doesn't mean to cause problems. It might even be something serious like early Dementia or Alzheimer's Disease.
1 person likes this
• Zagreb, Croatia (Hrvatska)
17 Jul
It may seem like the parent is getting slower with many informations. Also, the parent is a caretaker so, I think someone from staff will see if it acts strangely, I think. Thank you for your answer, makes me wondering.
1 person likes this
@db20747 (22147)
• Washington, District Of Columbia
17h
I always kept saying huh? When someone talks to me!! My aunt suggested I get my hearing checked!! It was said I may need a hearing aides!