Mr Godzilla Sir

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Godzilla was getting into some serious stomping as the citizens of Tokyo fled with Oh no not again expresssions on their faces. Godzilla missed the old days before Gadzuki went off to law school, when he could wrestle with Mothra and Mechagodzilla. As the umpteenth skyscraper toppled like it was just a cardboard box in some cheap B-Movie, and as he was about to release a jet of fire at some helicopters which were naively firing missiles at him (surely they knew how ineffective that was by now), Godzilla felt a slight tapping sensation on the back of his left ankle. Turning round and looking down, he saw the tiny man (actually six-foot two) with a clipboard and a battery powered laptop. "Excuse me, Mr Godzilla Sir," he said, with no fear in the world. ""I'd like to show you something." Curious at the man's sheer gall and audacity, Godzilla listened for a moment as the strange man in the pin-stripe suit and black tie fired up a powerpoint presentation. The man started to speak. "This is a graph of the times you have trashed our city, most humble monster. As you can see, it is rather often, sometimes before we can even get much of the infrasructure rebuilt from the previous stomping. The rumble you had with King Kong was particularly destructive, and even my prize begonias were trampled, not to mention the 35,000 dead. Here is a chart of how many Yen it costs in repairs and insurance payouts. As you can see, you do a great deal more damage than Gajira and the other Monster Island tourists who come here combined. We would really rather appreciate it if you stopped and went away some place else for a few hundred years. Would you do that please? The picture changed to first a smiley badge and then a cute kitten saying 'pretty please...' . Godzilla thought for a moment. It seemed a nice invitation, and no one had ever thought to just ask him nicely to stop stomping before. Perhaps he should take up the invitation. Nah, he thought, squashing the man and his laptop to mush with a swish of his tail, and stomped his way on, towards the East Coast. Youtube of Godzilla monsters Arthur Chappell