Can shame be forgotten?

@Nevena83 (66063)
Serbia
December 11, 2019 2:25pm CST
Good evening friends In the previous post I wrote that I would tell you what happened to me. You know my brother came here to bring more computers, because I found him another space. I was negotiating with people about everything and when he came he confirmed the deal and we got the keys to the space and spent two days settling down everything. Yes, to cut it short, my brother ran one power cord past the meter, I told him not to do it, but he didn't listen to me. He went home and after a few hours he called me to tell me that these people noticed it and that I had to get all the computers out. I went there with my mom and son, but I couldn't open the door, because they set their padlock. At that moment, I heard the car and saw the headlights. I was scared. A man came to connect me with the man for the space and he was friendly, but I felt great shame. Later came the main man, who was visibly upset, saying that we did not agree and that he did not like to be fooled. I was scared, I felt a great shame. I didn't know what to say, I tried to apologize for myself. I still feel a lot of fear because it was stressful for me. Their phones were ringing, and I realized some other people knew about it, cars were passing by, and I realized that they might have been expecting my brother. I know the story will expand and I am afraid people will treat me badly because of it.
15 people like this
16 responses
@moffittjc (128824)
• Gainesville, Florida
16 Dec 19
I'm sorry you had to deal with this, after you had warned your brother not to do it. I hope everything ended peacefully and that you were able to get the computers out. Make sure your brother listens to you next time!
1 person likes this
@moffittjc (128824)
• Gainesville, Florida
17 Dec 19
@Nevena83 What fear did you have? Were you worried that someone might try to harm you?
1 person likes this
@Nevena83 (66063)
• Serbia
18 Dec 19
@moffittjc Yes, I was sure someone would hurt me.
1 person likes this
@Nevena83 (66063)
• Serbia
16 Dec 19
Yes, I managed to get his computers out, but I was terrified.
1 person likes this
@florelway (23339)
• Cagayan De Oro, Philippines
11 Dec 19
I am sorry that has to happen. Lesson for your brother.
1 person likes this
@florelway (23339)
• Cagayan De Oro, Philippines
12 Dec 19
@Nevena83 that is so sad, is he younger than you?
1 person likes this
@Nevena83 (66063)
• Serbia
12 Dec 19
@florelway He is only two years younger than me.
1 person likes this
@Nevena83 (66063)
• Serbia
12 Dec 19
I don’t think he will learn anything from this because he has no sense of shame and guilt.
1 person likes this
@LadyDuck (502149)
• Italy
12 Dec 19
Oh my goodness, I am so sorry, how could your brother do something so stupid? You are not responsible for what your brother did, do not be ashamed to let them know that it was a decision of your brother and not yours.
1 person likes this
@LadyDuck (502149)
• Italy
13 Dec 19
@Nevena83 He cannot make money cheating the others. I know that if you use your own electricity, minting Bitcoin is not interesting at all. You also risk to grill your computer.
1 person likes this
@Nevena83 (66063)
• Serbia
12 Dec 19
He knows that this is the only way to make money from these computers because they consume a lot of electricity. I feel terrible. I was terrified and ashamed when people showed up.
1 person likes this
@Nevena83 (66063)
• Serbia
13 Dec 19
@LadyDuck Yeah, you're right, but he doesn't care.
1 person likes this
@DianneN (254949)
• United States
11 Dec 19
I’m sorry to hear this. You should not feel shame at all. You did warn your brother that it was wrong, and it’s his responsibility to deal with the consequences.
1 person likes this
@DianneN (254949)
• United States
11 Dec 19
@Nevena83 I’m so sorry. Still, it was not your fault. Did you tell your brother?
1 person likes this
@Nevena83 (66063)
• Serbia
12 Dec 19
@DianneN Yes, he knows about it, but he says I'm exaggerating. He does not understand my shame and my fear.
1 person likes this
@Nevena83 (66063)
• Serbia
11 Dec 19
Yes, but that man also connects me to my brother's business because I was with him. I feel horrible, I feel ashamed, and that evening I barely held back tears.
1 person likes this
@CarolDM (203396)
• Nashville, Tennessee
11 Dec 19
So sorry. Does not sound like your fault. Don't blame yourself for other's mistakes.
1 person likes this
@CarolDM (203396)
• Nashville, Tennessee
12 Dec 19
@Nevena83 You have to try, baby steps. Make a list, write it down if that helps. Write things like, I can do this, on a piece pf paper, and read it every day. We all have to find those little things that help us get through. You deserve better.
2 people like this
@Nevena83 (66063)
• Serbia
12 Dec 19
But I cannot let go of the feeling of shame and fear.
1 person likes this
• Mexico
11 Dec 19
Sorry what does ran power cord past the meter means? did he take power that he wasn't paying for?
1 person likes this
@Nevena83 (66063)
• Serbia
11 Dec 19
He tried to steal electricity.
1 person likes this
• Mexico
12 Dec 19
@Nevena83 Oh no I'm so sorry about that
1 person likes this
@Nevena83 (66063)
• Serbia
12 Dec 19
@samysotelo18 thank you
1 person likes this
@snowy22315 (208746)
• United States
12 Dec 19
It was not you fault! Do not blame yourself for this. I don't get your family. They treat you like Cinderella. Please don't let anyone treat you badly...especially those that get off on it. Your brother should have called ahead...but it certainly isn't your fault.
1 person likes this
@snowy22315 (208746)
• United States
12 Dec 19
@Nevena83 You must stop complaining and take action..or your life will never change..you know this.. We support you!
1 person likes this
@Nevena83 (66063)
• Serbia
12 Dec 19
@snowy22315 Yes, you are right and thank you very much for your support.
@Nevena83 (66063)
• Serbia
12 Dec 19
Thank you for your support. After that stress, I'm not feeling well. My parents and my brother continue their normal lives, and I feel very bad after a long time of stress.
1 person likes this
@marguicha (230334)
• Chile
13 Dec 19
I am so sorry you had to go through all this
1 person likes this
@Nevena83 (66063)
• Serbia
13 Dec 19
Thank you. It was a very uncomfortable situation.
1 person likes this
@marguicha (230334)
• Chile
13 Dec 19
@Nevena83 I imagine. but it was not your fault.
1 person likes this
@Nevena83 (66063)
• Serbia
13 Dec 19
@marguicha Thanks, but I feel a lot of shame.
• United States
12 Dec 19
sadly yer correct'n though 'twas not yer doin', tongues're gonna wag. one more reason to get 'way from yer brother'n his doin's.
1 person likes this
@Nevena83 (66063)
• Serbia
12 Dec 19
I feel terrible. And you're right, people will talk, no matter what my fault.
1 person likes this
@Nevena83 (66063)
• Serbia
12 Dec 19
@crazyhorseladycx I would really love it, but I don't see a way.
1 person likes this
@just4him (323168)
• Green Bay, Wisconsin
12 Dec 19
Your brother was in the wrong and should take the heat for what he did. I'm sorry you were confronted with it.
1 person likes this
@just4him (323168)
• Green Bay, Wisconsin
13 Dec 19
@Nevena83 I'm sure you do.
1 person likes this
@Nevena83 (66063)
• Serbia
12 Dec 19
Thanks for your understanding. It was a terrible situation, I feel humiliated and terrified.
1 person likes this
@birjudanak (14316)
• India
12 Dec 19
So sorry for your new trouble and its once again by your brother. He went so no one will ask him but its at your place so people will keep telling you. You need to talk with your brother and short out it.
1 person likes this
@Nevena83 (66063)
• Serbia
12 Dec 19
Yeah, he doesn't live here and he doesn't care what people say, and shame stays on me. There is nothing that can be done to reduce this.
1 person likes this
@JudyEv (381760)
• Rockingham, Australia
12 Dec 19
I'm sorry it has all fallen on your head. It would be very unfair for people to blame you.
1 person likes this
@Nevena83 (66063)
• Serbia
12 Dec 19
Unfortunately, people will associate me with this because my brother does not live here.
1 person likes this
@JudyEv (381760)
• Rockingham, Australia
13 Dec 19
@Nevena83 I understand that. It is a great pity this has happened.
1 person likes this
@thelme55 (79311)
• Germany
12 Dec 19
I am very sorry for that but don´t feel ashame as it was not your fault. It should be your brother who should be ashamed of what he did.
1 person likes this
@thelme55 (79311)
• Germany
13 Dec 19
@Nevena83 I see. Now I understand very much.
1 person likes this
@Nevena83 (66063)
• Serbia
12 Dec 19
Thanks for your understanding. My brother doesn't feel ashamed because he doesn't live here, and I feel terrible.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
12 Dec 19
Don't feel bad for it, Nevena. Your brother is responsible for it.
1 person likes this
@Nevena83 (66063)
• Serbia
12 Dec 19
Thanks for the support, but I feel terrible.
@louievill (28846)
• Philippines
11 Dec 19
Do you mean you made an illegal connection by bypassing the meter or what we call a jumper? Make your brother face the problem and clear your name cause you warned him already, nothing to be ashamed of in my opinion.
1 person likes this
@Nevena83 (66063)
• Serbia
12 Dec 19
Yes, that's what I meant. My brother doesn't care what people talk about because he doesn't live here. And I have to deal with the feeling of shame.
1 person likes this
@andriaperry (118793)
• Anniston, Alabama
11 Dec 19
Your brother should have been the one to face the man, not you. I would not feel bad about it, it was not you but your brother who was at fault.
1 person likes this
@Nevena83 (66063)
• Serbia
12 Dec 19
You're right, but he went home because he doesn't live here and sent me there, but I didn't know people would wait for me there, I was terrified.