It's not fair. . . waaaaaa!

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For the purpose of this post, I will refer to "student" who is my afternoon kiddo, and "Mrs. E." which is me and "Flora" which is the piglet. We are reading a book with" one school, one book". It is about a piglet. Every classroom has the book, and a stuffed toy piglet. Each teacher has the option of choosing people to take Flora home for an adventure. We already have photos of Flora on adventures posted on a wall. Student is intrigued. We did not know that the teachers all had a Flora, we thought there was only one. Student REALLY wants to take Flora home. He always has a toy in his back pack. Student and Mrs. E. set out on a quest to learn about the options and were eventually directed to his homeroom teacher. Teacher said they were going to have a class meeting to discuss this. We learned that any student who wanted a turn could take Flora home one night. The teacher in the student's homeroom put all the names in the pot, and drew. Student was not drawn first. This big eleven year old boy had a melt down and began discussion how it is just not fair. We had a discussion on the bus. Defined some terms: What is "fair"? What is "disappointed"? What is "tantrum"? My student says "Fair is when you really want something and you get to have it." His words exactly. Mrs. E says "Fair is when everyone has the same chance." Other definitions we discussed on the bus ride: Disappointed--when you feel sad because you do not always get to be first. Tantrum--when you cry and scream and you are not hurt, just mad. I ended our conversation by reminding my student of the successes he had at school that day. He succeeded at something he had not been able to do before. He did well on some math and reading. I told him I was proud of him. I told him his parents would be proud of him. At home, or in public, if he yells "it's not fair" and has a fit, he is given everything he wants at the expense of other kids in the family. I will say that it's not fair to let him believe he will always get his way. He will not. So that is a bit about my Tuesday.