So her sadness was over exaggerated??
@VivaLaDani13 (60812)
Perth, Australia
February 15, 2020 3:50am CST
In my previous post, I explained how my birthday night turned into a bit of a depressing time. If this post doesn't make sense then please feel free to read my previous one as I don't want to explain it ALL here and make this even longer. I will link my previous post in this one in case you'd like to read it.
So in my last post I said my dad's friend was upset due to not getting a promotion. Well even though that was on her mind, the real reason was because my dad and her aren't in a relationship. She loves him and my dad does like her but she really is hard to deal with at times. I like her too but there is quite a handful of things she has said and done I do not agree with! She has said and done things that just screams out "Attention seeker!"
Anyway, this morning my dad and I spoke to my Nan about my birthday dinner and from what we spoke about, I really believe my dad's friend was acting over the top. Yes, she was sad and I honestly understand her being sad! But why we believe her sadness was over exaggerated was because of the following:
*My dad and I were the last ones to arrive at my grandparents house and we both heard my dad's friend laughing and happily talking to my brother but once my dad and I walked into the house, her face became all sad with her tone of voice changing dramatically.
*My brother, Nan and Pop all confirmed that my dad's friend was happy when she arrived. She was talking, laughing and making jokes before my dad and I arrived.
*After we had eaten dinner, my Nan, Pop and dad left the table to go get the cake ready so it was just dad's friend, my brother and myself. She started joking around with my brother and laughing but once my dad came back in the room, she went back to "being sad" again.
How can someone "so sad" be happy when my dad was conveniently out the room? It doesn't make sense! It really was as if she was forcing it to get sympathy from my dad.
And what makes it more annoying is when she was saying goodbye to my dad outside, she had a go at him saying "You acted as if you didn't want me there and wasn't talking to me." Bull to the crap! We ALL spoke with her but she mainly shrugged, nodded or shook or head or gave one word answers. She made everyone feel awkward and as if we had done something wrong for the way she was treating us. Didn't even say thank you for the invite or food OH OH AND my dad gave her a birthday present ( it was her birthday in January but since my dad was in hospital, he couldn't get anything ) So he gave her the present and he joked and said "I bet you don't know what this is." ( She knew before hand what it was for she asked him to get it and the way my dad wrapped it, you could tell it was a new travel coffee mug." She grabbed it off him and just said "yeah." No thank you....nothing....
I've not really spoken about my dad's friend much. She actually IS a nice person and I like her but maybe one day I can explain some more of things she has done that just doesn't seem....right.
Thank you kindly for reading.
Previous post:
It is 1:35am here. Having bit of trouble sleeping. As usual. [em]silly[/em] It was my birthday yesterday. I was asleep for most of the day. I am pretty sure I...
15 people like this
15 responses
@just4him (323168)
• Green Bay, Wisconsin
16 Feb 20
Ah! It makes complete sense. Before you entered, she was the center of attention. When you and your father left the room to get the cake, she was once more the center of attention. You, being the birthday girl and the real center of attention for that moment, was not to her liking. She doesn't like the center of attention moved away from her, so she put on the sad facade. I'm sorry she's like that. It was your moment, your birthday and you deserved to be happy.
2 people like this
@just4him (323168)
• Green Bay, Wisconsin
19 Feb 20
@VivaLaDani13 Don't expect an apology. A person who expects to be the center of attention all the time, no matter what won't apologize for their rude behavior. In fact, I wouldn't be surprised if she isn't secretly happy she ruined your birthday.
I hope you went out and celebrated on your own.
2 people like this
@VivaLaDani13 (60812)
• Perth, Australia
19 Feb 20
@just4him You do make a good point about her. I'm not completely sure that was the case. But could have been! My dad and I believe it was all put on mainly for my dad. Maybe to make him feel guilty that he has made her sad for not being a couple. I really don't know.
But either way, yes it was my night but she ruined it. Still haven't heard from her since which makes my dad and I angry. An apology would be nice!
1 person likes this
@LadyDuck (502148)
• Italy
15 Feb 20
Definitely she wanted your father sympathy and she was exaggerating her problems to get his attention. She was really rude doing this, because she ruined your birthday. Should she play the same game, react doing the same, when she complains complain more saying "oh, what you say is nothing compared what I am enduring..." Those people must learn to respect the others, so she must experience what it means to listen to a grumpy person complaining.
2 people like this
@LadyDuck (502148)
• Italy
19 Feb 20
@VivaLaDani13 I did not know about this message that she sent to your father. She is definitely a selfish person who only cares about herself. She will never be a good friend, even if she helped I am sure it was because she had pleasure saying she did, not because she really liked to help. You should avoid to meet her.
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@VivaLaDani13 (60812)
• Perth, Australia
20 Feb 20
@LadyDuck Well said! I have also said that to my dad. That I'm sure she likes to help but also feel she likes it just so she can guilt trip my dad saying "Look at all I did for you." Because she has somewhat done this.
She even blamed my dad for a speeding ticket she apparently got. No one told her to speed to our house. In fact no one invited her period.
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@VivaLaDani13 (60812)
• Perth, Australia
19 Feb 20
@LadyDuck I was hoping you'd read this post because you are clever about people. I am almost certain I've said that before. Or have called you "level headed." And really wanted to read your opinion about this post as it was more detailed about that night.
And I completely agree with you! And that's exactly the type of person she is. I was just saying something to another MyLotter ( Horse ) I will just copy and paste it to save me typing it again. Just want to give you one example to back up what you said:
She is quite selfish at times. When my dad was back in hospital in January, he was feeling down due to being back there, worried about his parents ( his dad is suffering with dementia ), he was worried about his job and money in general,and his health etc. But she ( his friend ) rang him but he couldn't answer because a nurse was taking his blood to check sugar levels, she got annoyed and sent him a text saying "You're not the only one who is down at the moment!" Like being b*tchy towards him...while he lays there in hospital.
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@Daljinder (23193)
• Bangalore, India
3 Mar 20
She is seeking sympathy from your Dad? Or is she trying to make him feel bad and push him to ask her "what's wrong?"
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@VivaLaDani13 (60812)
• Perth, Australia
3 Mar 20
@Daljinder Probably both though he already asked her but I lean more towards sympathy / attention seeking.
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@VivaLaDani13 (60812)
• Perth, Australia
4 Mar 20
@Daljinder lol friggen haaaate those. Haven't really heard those in quite some time...crap! That's brilliant though!
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@Daljinder (23193)
• Bangalore, India
4 Mar 20
@VivaLaDani13 I think so too. Funny enough it reminds about Fuzzball's deliberate long sighs that annoy you to no end. 
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@Hannihar (130150)
• Israel
19 Feb 20
@VivaLaDani13
I could not get into this post before but now I can. I cannot explain why now and not before.
Is that the same one who was his girlfriend? She sounds not very nice and moody. Did they have a fight or something that she would get sad each time your Dad was around? I do not understand, was it your birthday or hers you wee celebrating?
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@VivaLaDani13 (60812)
• Perth, Australia
19 Feb 20
@Hannihar I am sorry you had troubles with this post! I am glad it finally worked for you!
Yeah well....I mean I am a bit confused on what they were. They were dating but I don't think it was completely official....but sort of. Besides her mood swings that was making my dad uncomfortable, she was also moving extremely fast for him. Like saying "I love you" too quick, talking about having a baby, talking about moving into a new house together. Was too much too fast.
It was my birthday. And she was invited by my dad to come have dinner with us. So it was my birthday she ruined. She wasn't in a happy mood because a few days before she was meant to come to our place to hang out with my dad but my dad cancelled as he likes to be alone a lot. Or should I say, doesn't always like her around. And that annoyed her. She likes to be clingy and have him around but my dad isn't like her. He likes space and doesn't always like her cuddling up to him with a chance of a mood swing.
So she decided to be sad and forcefully sad on my birthday night.
1 person likes this
@VivaLaDani13 (60812)
• Perth, Australia
20 Feb 20
@Hannihar Thank you very much for the birthday wishes. 
Nah she doesn't live with us. She hasn't spoken to him and he hasn't spoken to her. It would have been nice to say sorry to me and to my grandparents since it was at my grandparent's house. But she has done nothing to try to fix this. I don't know if they will talk again to be honest.
Nah she doesn't live with us. She hasn't spoken to him and he hasn't spoken to her. It would have been nice to say sorry to me and to my grandparents since it was at my grandparent's house. But she has done nothing to try to fix this. I don't know if they will talk again to be honest.1 person likes this
@Hannihar (130150)
• Israel
20 Feb 20
@VivaLaDani13
I thought she lived with him in your house. Happy Belated birthday. Sorry she showed up and ruined your birthday and by the sound of it did not apologize to you either for ruining it. I am sorry. I would say she is now out of your dad's life completely, am I right?
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@amitkokiladitya (171988)
• Agra, India
15 Feb 20
Ohh..I'm.so sorry to hear this. I wish you could just throw this uncle out of your life
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@VivaLaDani13 (60812)
• Perth, Australia
15 Feb 20
@amitkokiladitya Thank you kindly. But wasn't an uncle. It was my dad's friend. She ruined my birthday.
But wasn't an uncle. It was my dad's friend. She ruined my birthday.1 person likes this
@VivaLaDani13 (60812)
• Perth, Australia
16 Feb 20
@amitkokiladitya My dad invited her. I mean under normal circumstances I would have loved her to come but if I had known she was going to be like this, I would rather she didn't come to ruin my birthday dinner.
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@amitkokiladitya (171988)
• Agra, India
15 Feb 20
@VivaLaDani13 was he invited by you
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@Treborika (18194)
• Mombasa, Kenya
5 Feb 23
As as I am concerned there is no perfect person on earth except God. So your dad's friend.
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@VivaLaDani13 (60812)
• Perth, Australia
7 Feb 23
@Treborika My dad's ex is an awful person. I hope to never see her again. Awful awful woman!
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@VivaLaDani13 (60812)
• Perth, Australia
8 Feb 23
@Treborika And men too! Both genders are capable of this behaviour. Not just women. 
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@Treborika (18194)
• Mombasa, Kenya
7 Feb 23
@VivaLaDani13 Sometimes some women behave like that
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@crossbones27 (52907)
• Mojave, California
15 Feb 20
Do not let it get to you I started a brawl apparently over similar stuff. While its kind of fun to have friends scared of me its not that fun. It is nice on respect aspect but now they all just seem weird. I am like I did not start it, many say they did not either but instigated. Now on people do their own dirty work. I am having none of it. Its kind of similar, just more civilized in your case. 
1 person likes this
@VivaLaDani13 (60812)
• Perth, Australia
15 Feb 20
@crossbones27 I am sorry they can feel scared of you! Not sure why it's fun for you. I am intrigued if you don't mind explaining it some more? 
Not sure why it's fun for you. I am intrigued if you don't mind explaining it some more? 2 people like this
@crossbones27 (52907)
• Mojave, California
15 Feb 20
@VivaLaDani13 That's it,they talked smacked and still seen as a lesser, no fun,I hate that crap. Only fun is now you all successful now you see. haha. I do not mess with that. They earned that, just stop talking smack. You better OK, but then they bring it up in crowds and sometimes crowds go, so what, he works and then they turn on them and now I am confused. I should be with the crowd but now you picking on my dumb boy. Damn think I just explained how Trump got elected. More or less I do my own thing and if going to pick on someone do it respectfully. Seems easy but pretty hard.
More or less I do my own thing and if going to pick on someone do it respectfully. Seems easy but pretty hard.1 person likes this
@VivaLaDani13 (60812)
• Perth, Australia
19 Feb 20
@crossbones27 I think I get what you mean. Thank you for explaining. 
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@VivaLaDani13 (60812)
• Perth, Australia
17 Feb 20
@rebelann I completely agree with you!
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@RebeccasFarm (91299)
• United States
17 Feb 20
You are handling this very well Dani. She needs to get grown up.
Happy Birthday to you love xo
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@VivaLaDani13 (60812)
• Perth, Australia
19 Feb 20
@RebeccasFarm Thank you very much! And that is exactly what I said to my dad a few times when talking about her! She really does. Thank you.
@VivaLaDani13 (60812)
• Perth, Australia
17 Feb 20
@simone10 Thank you for understanding me. She really was being a drama queen and it ruined the night.
1 person likes this
@VivaLaDani13 (60812)
• Perth, Australia
19 Feb 20
@simone10 Yeah he has been quite sick of things like this for a long time now. But that night was what completely changed him once and for all I reckon.
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@Alexandoy (65302)
• Cainta, Philippines
15 Feb 20
Perhaps you just have to learn how to ignore her exaggerations. Don't let her behavior affect you.
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@Alexandoy (65302)
• Cainta, Philippines
15 Feb 20
@VivaLaDani13 I agree with what you did to have another celebration without her.
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@VivaLaDani13 (60812)
• Perth, Australia
15 Feb 20
@Alexandoy Thank you Alex! I am thinking of having a bowling night with my dad and brother!
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@VivaLaDani13 (60812)
• Perth, Australia
15 Feb 20
@Alexandoy I didn't give her my usual "Are you ok? I am here for you" self which I am usually like. I wasn't in the right frame of mind to feel sorry for someone who made my birthday an awkward night. But I have decided to later on have another birthday night. Obviously without her.
1 person likes this
@moffittjc (128824)
• Gainesville, Florida
15 Feb 20
I honestly think that for your dad's long-term happiness--and yours--he really should let this woman go and cut ties with her. Your family does not need someone like that dampening the mood every time she's around your dad and looking for attention.
1 person likes this
@moffittjc (128824)
• Gainesville, Florida
23 Feb 20
@VivaLaDani13 So has your dad parted ways with her? Or are they still together?
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@VivaLaDani13 (60812)
• Perth, Australia
19 Feb 20
@moffittjc I completely agree with you! And that's exactly how my dad has been feeling for quite some time. I don't mean this in a "I told him so" kinda thing but early stages I did keep saying things to my dad about being concerned with some things regarding her. She's nice, can be caring and can be funny and can laugh but there are other things that are too much and I didn't want my dad dealing with all that crap. And I think it may be over for good. Even as friends. Like she honestly was a great help last year when dad had his toe amputated. But she also brought a lot of drama and tension too. Even while dad was trying to recover! 
Not only my dad's happiness, but he needs to have less stress in his life to keep his foot healing.
Not only my dad's happiness, but he needs to have less stress in his life to keep his foot healing.1 person likes this
@VivaLaDani13 (60812)
• Perth, Australia
24 Feb 20
@moffittjc Technically they weren't together. He was trying so hard to make her understand that he just wants to be alone but she kept trying in the most obvious ways. It was getting annoying to be honest. As a girl, I could see what she was trying to do.
But no, they haven't spoken since. I did like her but just like my dad, we are sick of some of the things she was saying and doing that ruins the fun mood. 
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@TheHorse (238268)
• Walnut Creek, California
17 Feb 20
@VivaLaDani13 That's a good point. If it's affecting your dad, then it's hard to just "let it go."
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@VivaLaDani13 (60812)
• Perth, Australia
19 Feb 20
@TheHorse Thank you for understanding. She is quite selfish at times. When my dad was back in hospital in January, he was feeling down due to being back there, worried about his parents ( his dad is suffering with dementia ), he was worried about his job and money in general,and his health etc. But she ( his friend ) rang him but he couldn't answer because a nurse was taking his blood to check sugar levels, she got annoyed and sent him a text saying "You're not the only one who is down at the moment!" Like being b*tchy towards him...while he lays there in hospital.
She is quite selfish at times. When my dad was back in hospital in January, he was feeling down due to being back there, worried about his parents ( his dad is suffering with dementia ), he was worried about his job and money in general,and his health etc. But she ( his friend ) rang him but he couldn't answer because a nurse was taking his blood to check sugar levels, she got annoyed and sent him a text saying "You're not the only one who is down at the moment!" Like being b*tchy towards him...while he lays there in hospital. 1 person likes this
@VivaLaDani13 (60812)
• Perth, Australia
17 Feb 20
@TheHorse I believe that for sure as I know that feeling so I actually feel bad for her with all that. Just other things she does I try hard to understand but it's also difficult to witness when it's affecting my dad.
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@noni1959 (13009)
• United States
15 Feb 20
Your dad would be wise to let this person go from his life. She is trying to force him into giving her sympathy and showing he wants her and the more he stops the more she does this. Both you and your dad should avoid any place she will be. He may have to come right out and tell her he does not think of her as someone to have a relationship with.
1 person likes this
@noni1959 (13009)
• United States
19 Feb 20
@VivaLaDani13 He can't be friends with someone like her. She is close to being a stalker especially after he's told her how he feels. He is going to have to tell her not to call him, text etc and avoid places she will be. Not use the word think either. He needs to say he knows he doesn't want a relationship with her.
1 person likes this
@VivaLaDani13 (60812)
• Perth, Australia
19 Feb 20
@noni1959 I agree! He has been feeling put off from her for quite some time. But my birthday night was what really did it for him as we know it was mainly put on for a show.
My dad has been letting her know for a long time that he thinks he just wants to be alone and just wants to be friends. But she still continued speaking / texting / sending him love songs etc. But after everything she has said and done, especially the most recent event, my dad doesn't feel like even being her friend anymore.
1 person likes this
@VivaLaDani13 (60812)
• Perth, Australia
20 Feb 20
@noni1959 I literally said that to my dad too lol about her being a stalker. And I have stories to back up that theory too!
He has told her exactly how he feels and recently said something like "Yes we need to not see each other!" So he has made it clear.
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