Question For Today- Lonely In Retirement
By DB
@dgobucks226 (37621)
March 13, 2020 8:41pm CST
How do you keep yourself from being lonely in retirement?
It can be very disorienting when people who relied on work as a major source of social relationships now have to replace those workplace friends. Divorce, spousal death or family members moving away are other factors that can lead to loneliness.
So what suggestions do you have for coping with this situation?
Photo- theconversation.com
17 people like this
17 responses
@oahuwriter (26773)
• United States
14 Mar 20
Me I joined mylot.com, do surveys and found that you have to have a GE license for all the payments from them. I also sell things on letgo.com, which is considered sales without employer, so got to pay GE taxes here in Hawaii for all of this for it's consistent payments and not considered casual type of payments which needs no GE license. I watch tv and get myself immersed in the story, go to the library internet use, so I ride the bus all the time with my Senior pass. I'm out and about when I need to be like shopping, doing my tax return and cleaning. So I keep busy and don't think about what was and what I don't have any longer. I keep busy making food and enjoy eating while watching tv. I got good neighbors who generally watch out for each other when they can, so it's really nice where I live. I don't drive, so I ride the bus, so there is people all around on the bus and in the library. So I can't wait to be alone at home to cook, watch tv and eat my meals.
6 people like this
@dgobucks226 (37621)
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15 Mar 20
Very nicely said. From your response your surrounded by people when you choose and never really alone. Your solitude is by your own choice. You have stimulating interests, hobbies and social activities You definitely found a wonderful balance for your life! Your really not alone
1 person likes this
@oahuwriter (26773)
• United States
17 Mar 20
@dgobucks226
Thanks, I think so too. I like mylotting and enjoy mylot. It is like never being alone since I mylot!
1 person likes this
@RasmaSandra (97912)
• Daytona Beach, Florida
14 Mar 20
I am totally alone and not lonely at all. I work at my writing, I go on sites like this, and in the evenings I enjoy my favorite shows and movies.
5 people like this
@dgobucks226 (37621)
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15 Mar 20
I see what your getting at there. Now that your retired you have the chance to explore again interests you had no time for when you were working.
1 person likes this
@RasmaSandra (97912)
• Daytona Beach, Florida
17 Mar 20
@dgobucks226 well, now I am happy to write from home but it does take a lot of effort and I am hoping I can get a long term writing job with a client that will pay steadily Although just recently I worked with one client who kept giving me project a total of 3 so in about 9 days I made $30 but it does not mean he'll as for more SIGH
1 person likes this
@dgobucks226 (37621)
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17 Mar 20
@RasmaSandra I'm sure it takes a great deal of effort to secure clients.
1 person likes this
@rebelann (117199)
• El Paso, Texas
15 Mar 20
But that would defeat the purpose of socializing @dgobucks226 Internet interaction isn't the same as real world interaction. Unlike a lot of people I know I don't need interaction more than a couple times a month but I do need to get out into the real world and interact with real people at those times, as for the internet I do that every day and it's great for what it is.
My social fix is to go out shopping and just talking with whomever I meet and sometimes I take a friend along.
1 person likes this
@dgobucks226 (37621)
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15 Mar 20
What an interesting and terrific suggestion! And if animals aren't your thing you could Go online and explore groups that offer social experiences which interest you. These meet up sites can allow you to participate and share ideas with others who share your interest.
1 person likes this
@dgobucks226 (37621)
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16 Mar 20
@rebelann These sites might offer places where people can meet other than just chatting on the internet.
Shopping can be a great outlet for getting out among people 
1 person likes this
@JudyEv (381760)
• Rockingham, Australia
16 Mar 20
@dgobucks226 Volunteering is really good as it gives people a feeling of worthiness and of being needed.
1 person likes this
@dgobucks226 (37621)
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15 Mar 20
Excellent suggestions for sure Judy! Something else could be volunteer work. You might look into working as a guide on a voluntary basis, in a museum, art gallery, or zoo. They provide training.
1 person likes this
@JohnRoberts (109841)
• Los Angeles, California
14 Mar 20
I am retired and treasure being alone.
5 people like this
@LindaOHio (222222)
• United States
14 Mar 20
I hate being alone. You are lucky! Stay safe and healthy!
2 people like this
@dgobucks226 (37621)
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15 Mar 20
I agree with you somewhat John. I definitely enjoy my alone time playing my music and doing other solitary activities. But I do need social experiences too. Like playing golf with friends, going to clubs to listen to bands, and catching up with relatives. When you take your vacation trips and seeing sites, even when attending alone, you do have social interaction with the tour guides and others who share your interest in that tourist site. Whether their is verbal communication or not, in these instances your not alone. But I do get you. People can be annoying...
1 person likes this
@yoalldudes (35030)
• Philippines
14 Mar 20
I personally would ask the same question because I don't have much friends to speak of. I am thinking of getting hobbies and meeting people in the process. There is also meetup.com but not during current situations.
3 people like this
@dgobucks226 (37621)
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15 Mar 20
Aging and retirement can be a life changing situation for many. I found these suggestions online which might be helpful to people who feel alone and want a social connection.
Here are a few other suggestions one could try:
You might be able to find volunteer opportunities in your community that interest you.
Now that your retired you have the chance to explore again interests you had no time for when you were working.
Go online and explore groups that offer social experiences which interest you. These meet up sites can allow you to participate and share ideas with others who share your interest.
Community and senior centers offer adult education classes you can attend.
Finding ways to connect with others who share your interests in your community or through social media can be a way to enhance your days.
@yoalldudes (35030)
• Philippines
16 Mar 20
@dgobucks226 Thank you for these tips.
1 person likes this
@dgobucks226 (37621)
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15 Mar 20
I go along with that point of view. Even when a person is retired they have the chance to explore again interests they had no time for when they were working.
1 person likes this
@dgobucks226 (37621)
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15 Mar 20
Absolutely a great suggestion. Community and senior centers offer adult education classes and other activities you can attend.
1 person likes this
@dgobucks226 (37621)
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15 Mar 20
That's a healthy way to look at it. Alone time is not a negative thing.
You're only lonely if you're not there for you.
Phil McGraw
1 person likes this
@LadyDuck (502148)
• Italy
16 Mar 20
@dgobucks226 I fully agree, some people are well alone, but not lonely. Some people are lonely among a crowd.
1 person likes this
@dgobucks226 (37621)
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15 Mar 20
I see your point, but from my view some social interaction is healthy and provides additional stimulation to one's life. One should not close themselves off to new social experiences, life should be about continual personal growth, retirement and old age should not be an end of socialization with others.
There's a difference in being alone and being left alone.
And this is from someone who has no problem with their own company and having alone time.
1 person likes this
@sallypup (69157)
• Centralia, Washington
14 Mar 20
We bought a house in an area of our state so that when my hubby retires we will live there. The house is in a better area for public transportation than where we are right now. It also is nearer to others who write poetry, more trails for walking, shorelines to explore, seafood restaurants, food co-ops. We intend to reach out to as many folks with our interests as we can.
2 people like this
@sallypup (69157)
• Centralia, Washington
15 Mar 20
@dgobucks226 If we stay where we are now we will be just gardening and doing chores and going to town to buy groceries or eat in a restaurant. Not much of a life. So I guess we will move to where there is action.
1 person likes this
@dgobucks226 (37621)
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15 Mar 20
That is an excellent plan and one recommended by many sites who offer advice to retired people. Finding others who share the same passions as you is a great way to go....
1 person likes this
@just4him (323168)
• Green Bay, Wisconsin
15 Mar 20
I'm going to say you're not retired yet. I thought this would be a problem. However, I found I'm busier after retirement than I was when I was working. I'm more social. My calendar is full, literally. No time to be lonely. If I am, it's my fault.
1 person likes this
@just4him (323168)
• Green Bay, Wisconsin
16 Mar 20
@dgobucks226 Yes, and not only me, but everyone else who lived in the workplace for 40+ years. We can do what we want now, things we dreamed about doing when we retired.
1 person likes this
@dgobucks226 (37621)
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15 Mar 20
That's fantastic to hear. In your case I guess what you might be saying is now that your retired you have the chance to explore interests you had no time for when you were working?
Life is for each one to live in whatever way suits them. We can choose to live it to the fullest extent of personal happiness or shut ourselves off from it and the world around us. Happiness and loneliness are by-products of our actions.
1 person likes this
@LindaOHio (222222)
• United States
14 Mar 20
It's tough. We don't have many friends (hardly any); and we don't go out much except to doctor's appointments. If my husband passed away, I don't know what I would do. Stay safe and healthy!
3 people like this
@dgobucks226 (37621)
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15 Mar 20
Yes, one relies heavily on a spouse for support and companionship. One thing I would try is to Go online and explore groups that offer social experiences which interest me. These meeting sites can allow you to participate and share ideas with others who share your interest. Another idea is You might be able to find volunteer opportunities in your community that interest you.
1 person likes this
@dgobucks226 (37621)
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15 Mar 20
I wholeheartedly go along with that suggestion. Socializing with those who share similar interests is a useful way to find connections.
Here are a few other suggestions one could try:
-You might be able to find volunteer opportunities in your community that interest you.
-Community and senior centers offer adult education classes you can attend.
@dgobucks226 (37621)
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31 Mar 20
Having varied interests helps make for a happy and fulfilled retirement
@dgobucks226 (37621)
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15 Mar 20
Very good idea. Community and senior centers offer adult education classes you can attend. We have programs and activities like that in my town.
1 person likes this
@dgobucks226 (37621)
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15 Mar 20
Oh I agree. But perhaps interaction with others can also provide an outlet for happiness. We are social beings and in my view some balance can be a good thing in one's life.
1 person likes this
@CarolDM (203396)
• Nashville, Tennessee
15 Mar 20
@dgobucks226 You are right about that.
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