Another 7th of April....
@VivaLaDani13 (60812)
Perth, Australia
April 6, 2020 11:03am CST
So it's just turned the 7th of April here. This is a day I never enjoy from start to finish. I do whatever I can to try keep myself occupied. Or better yet, I try to sleep through most of it.
I don't enjoy any of this month. It gives me anxiety and my OCD gets more intense. But I hate this specific day.
So on this day, 13 years ago, was when my mum passed away. I know she isn't around anymore but I do know I still must be in some sort of denial. I dream about her often and they are 99% of the time about her coming back because her death was a mistake or a joke. So I can only think it's because I still can't believe it.
What I don't understand is that in these dreams she is usually mad at me. I find it hard to contact her because she ignores my calls and text messages or keeps walking away from me. It's rare I dream about her and I just being together. It's always a struggle.
Anyway, I don't do these types of posts for sympathy. Every year I do a post on Facebook to say I love her and miss her. I do this because she used to be addicted to this site online called "Yahoo Questions & Answers" and every time it was my birthday or something I did or something I was going through, she'd post about it and got me to see all the messages from strangers around the world to make me smile. So as an "inside" thing ( can't say inside joke, I don't know the right word ) I just mean a thing my mum and I had, I have done since she left.
So Mummy, I love you and miss you so so much.
****photo is of my mum and me. I was 15 or 16 here****
13 people like this
13 responses
@moffittjc (128824)
• Gainesville, Florida
6 Apr 20
Oh God, Dani, I just want to hug you so badly right now, to take you in my arms and pull you close to me and just hold you tight. Even if you wanted to sleep this whole day through, I would crawl in bed next to you and snuggle up against you and put my arms around you and just cuddle you while you slept. Just so you know you are loved and cherished.
This was a beautiful post and a nice tribute to your mom. You are so sweet to keep her memory alive.
Two days from now (9 April), will be one year since my mom's passing. I, too, am still in somewhat of a denial.
2 people like this
@VivaLaDani13 (60812)
• Perth, Australia
7 Apr 20
@moffittjc Thank you very very much for your kind words and support. I really appreciate it a lot.
I'm sorry that you too will be having one of those days very soon. 
I wish I could change everything and make things better for you.
I wish I could change everything and make things better for you.1 person likes this
@moffittjc (128824)
• Gainesville, Florida
7 Apr 20
@VivaLaDani13 And I feel the same about you! I wish I could make it better for you! We just need to be together and hug and hold each other tight through this time period! 
1 person likes this
@VivaLaDani13 (60812)
• Perth, Australia
7 Apr 20
@Butterfingers Sure is. 11:30pm here.
1 person likes this
@VivaLaDani13 (60812)
• Perth, Australia
6 Apr 20
@LadyDuck Thank you very much Anna. Really appreciate it a lot.
Really appreciate it a lot.1 person likes this
@WorDazza (15826)
• Manchester, England
7 Apr 20
Your dreams about your mum are obviously reflecting your deep desire to speak to her again and the frustration of knowing that you can't. I don't believe they are any sort of indication that your mum is mad at you.
Hopefully by the time you read this it is already tomorrow for you. Hope you feel better this morning
1 person likes this
@WorDazza (15826)
• Manchester, England
8 Apr 20
@VivaLaDani13 No problem. Hope you're feeling better today.
1 person likes this
@VivaLaDani13 (60812)
• Perth, Australia
8 Apr 20
@WorDazza Thank you. Yeah better than yesterday.
1 person likes this
@VivaLaDani13 (60812)
• Perth, Australia
8 Apr 20
@WorDazza You make a very good point there! So true. Thank you so much for reading and commenting with that. I feel stupid that I didn't think of it that way.
Thank you so much.
1 person likes this
@Hannihar (130150)
• Israel
7 Apr 20
@VivaLaDani13
Now I get it why you do not like the 7th of April. It is a very special photo of the two of you.
1 person likes this
@VivaLaDani13 (60812)
• Perth, Australia
7 Apr 20
@Hannihar Thank you very much Hanni.
1 person likes this
@VivaLaDani13 (60812)
• Perth, Australia
7 Apr 20
@AmbiePam Thank you very much. Well I am 29 and I feel like I am old lol I hope 29 isn't labelled as old.
Thank you so much for your kind words and support! Means a lot!
1 person likes this
@VivaLaDani13 (60812)
• Perth, Australia
7 Apr 20
@sallypup Thank you so very much for your beautiful comment. I really appreciate it.
@VivaLaDani13 (60812)
• Perth, Australia
7 Apr 20
@just4him Thank you kindly Valerie.
1 person likes this
@VivaLaDani13 (60812)
• Perth, Australia
7 Apr 20
@JudyEv Thank you very much for understanding and for your kind words.
1 person likes this
@happylife1 (13403)
• Karachi, Pakistan
6 Apr 20
sweet memories.........i love my mum
1 person likes this
