Persistence is NOT ALWAYS the key to success
By AmberLynn
@ScribbledAdNauseum (104615)
United States
June 9, 2020 7:24am CST
A lot of people mistakenly think that persistence is always the key to success, but this simply isn't true. Now, 99 percent of the time, persistence does pay off, but not always. Let me give you an example that has recently come up for me.
I'm chatting with someone that I used to date, and we get along okay because we both have the appreciation of history in common. For the past month or so he has been bugging me about meeting up with him to hang out. Of course, with all this virus stuff going on I'm not quite ready for that yet.
I've asked him to stop asking me about it, but he won't. I explained to him that I find it disrespectful that he isn't going to stop asking me. Why won't he stop? well because he thinks that I should be getting on with my life.
I dressed him down yesterday in the kindest way I could. I basically told him that it doesn't matter what he thinks because that's not going to change my mind. I also told him that he doesn't have to understand my decision to respect it. He stopped replying back to me after that, and honestly? I'm glad.
I let him keep pestering me about it for too many days after I requested that he please stop asking me, and well he didn't listen....
Ugh, people.
So yeah... That's my rant / example of when persistence doesn't pay off. In his case, his persistence of asking me (disrespecting my wishes, by doing this) didn't pay off.
6 people like this
7 responses
@ScribbledAdNauseum (104615)
• United States
9 Jun 20
After I exposed what he was trying to do, he stopped texting me.
1 person likes this
@ScribbledAdNauseum (104615)
• United States
9 Jun 20
@bbghitte I absolutely agree. Sometimes I let things like this happen and not stand my ground, but I am glad I did.
1 person likes this
@bbghitte (3498)
• Philippines
9 Jun 20
@ScribbledAdNauseum that's good news then. what a relief!:)
1 person likes this
@ScribbledAdNauseum (104615)
• United States
9 Jun 20
Exactly that! I let it go on for too long as well. I was going around in circles with him last night until I finally got strict with my wording and he stopped messaging me after that. That is fine with me, if he isn't going to be respectful of my wishes, I do not need to talk to him.
1 person likes this
@snowy22315 (208746)
• United States
9 Jun 20
He kind of sounds like a moron. I can relate. He wants to hang out, because he thinks YOU should be getting on with your life..Insert huge eye rolls here.
@snowy22315 (208746)
• United States
9 Jun 20
@ScribbledAdNauseum I know someone just like that. It seems like they see no differentiation between you and them or something.
1 person likes this
@ScribbledAdNauseum (104615)
• United States
9 Jun 20
Moron is the exact word I'd use. He kept pushing his own theory about the virus as if I should adopt it as my own. I told him that he had the right to his opinion, and I respected it, but he had to respect mine.
1 person likes this
@ScribbledAdNauseum (104615)
• United States
9 Jun 20
@snowy22315 I don't know if they see no difference, but this guy at least seems to think there should be no difference. What irritated me the most is when I asked him if he was going to stop hinting / asking me to hang out with him. He said "probably not because ..." and that's when he started in on how he thinks I should live my life and enjoy it.
Ignorance, really. That's what he is.
1 person likes this
@much2say (57760)
• Los Angeles, California
9 Jun 20
Persistence is one thing - pestering is another. It could have been different if he said something in the lines of he won't stop bugging you because he likes you so much and just wished you guys could hang out . . . but he kinda turned it around into a selfish thing. He should have put more value on your feelings than push his opinion on what you should be doing. Yep, ugh.
@much2say (57760)
• Los Angeles, California
9 Jun 20
@ScribbledAdNauseum You have every right to be cautious . . . especially during this whole virus thing. It is a matter of health and safety - he should have at least been respectful of that. Control - yes - that's exactly it . . . I didn't realize he had tried to plan for you previously. And if he knew you just wanted to be friends - oh that "honey" sure did slip - he is the one who needs to get on with his life 
. Ugh, some guys just don't get it until it's entirely spelled out for them 
. . . hopefully he gets it now!
. Ugh, some guys just don't get it until it's entirely spelled out for them . . . hopefully he gets it now!@ScribbledAdNauseum (104615)
• United States
9 Jun 20
@much2say I hope he does.
He contacted me again a month or so ago, and I laid out for him then and there that if he wanted to talk, it would just be talking. We were only going to be friends. He seemed to understand that, but I guess not. Honestly, it was slightly stupid of me to continue talking to him after that, but well I guess I've paid for that with his recent actions.
1 person likes this
@ScribbledAdNauseum (104615)
• United States
9 Jun 20
This is the last thing I said to him :
I'm not worrying what if, and I am just enjoying life. I'm just being cautious. I've made plans with my girls already. They respect my decision and appreciate it. One of them works in healthcare so completely gets it. Instead of constantly bugging me, you could hae asked me when I'd be comfortable meeting up. Instead you just make plans for me (including June 1st, because I never agreed to that) and that doesn't show that you respect where I'm coming from. You don't have to understand it to respect it either. Your coming at me as if you know what's best and I should just go along with it. When I don't, you just keep persisting but that's not going to work with me. I'm not going to be controlled, and whether you want to see it that way or not, that's how I see it.
He didn't reply after that. I've already explained to him before that we will only remain friends, but the day before yesterday we were talking on the phone and he let the word "honey" slip. First time he's said that since we were dating, so I'm thinking he has feelings that I don't reciprocate. It is probably best that he keeps pestering me and pissing me off, because it's obvious to me now that I shouldn't hang out with him.
Oh, and he bought me something a week or so ago, again I didn't see it as being anything more than a friendly gestures but I am rethinking that now.
1 person likes this
@ScribbledAdNauseum (104615)
• United States
9 Jun 20
Some people do not want to understand either, which I think is a bigger problem.
@Lavanya15 (12888)
• Chennai, India
9 Jun 20
You did correctly, go for your own way, don't believe others word.
@ScribbledAdNauseum (104615)
• United States
9 Jun 20
He thought he knew what was best for me, and tried to manipulate me into relenting by consistently pestering me. I had to tell him yesterday that it wasn't going to work for me.
1 person likes this
@MarshaMusselman (38865)
• Midland, Michigan
9 Jun 20
That type of persistence can also land someone in jail especially if it's a common practice or a restraining order was placed.
I wonder whether he's pestering you because all his other friends are also of the same minds as you on limiting interactions because of the virus and he figured with your history he could force your hand more?
@ScribbledAdNauseum (104615)
• United States
9 Jun 20
Nah, his friends are not of the same mind as me. He's hung out with his friends even before the stay at place order was lifted, I believe.
I honestly thought it was rather immature of him to constantly pester me. He either thinks that pestering me would get me to relent, or that he thinks he knows better than me about what's good for me. I think maybe a little bit of both.
1 person likes this
