Feeling Off This Week. Grief Maybe?

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Hey there, everyone. I hope you’ve all been doing well. I’ve been okay, but I’ve also been feeling a little off this week. It’s not a panic attack, but it does feel a bit like anxiety (which I was diagnosed with back in late 2011, and I’ve been on medication since then). It usually passes, but lately it’s been an off and on feeling. It started around 3am Sunday into Monday, and then it’s happened at least once daily since then. I had a realization last night about what COULD be causing my off feeling. Today is 7yrs since my Dad fell. Tomorrow is 7yrs since my Dad was taken to the hospital in cardiac arrest. The 26th will be 7yrs that we found out it was definitely lung cancer and that he wouldn’t make it, and June 27th is 7yrs since he officially passed away after being on life support since the 25th. I know some of you already know this, but others don’t know it because they haven’t been following me as long, so I wanted to catch everyone up. It’s not the first time I’ve felt off, and I’ve mentioned it on here before (but since others suffer from anxiety more than I do, I tend to downplay it because I don’t want to complain). I don’t remember feeling this way every day leading up to it, but it did start around 3am Sunday into Monday, so maybe Father’s Day triggered it? I was doing okay so I don’t know. I kind of think it's a subconscious thing, which maybe why I only just realized it last night. I did talk to a few close friends (one who’s also dealing with grief), and they feel the same way - that my mind and body subconsciously know this week is the 7yr anniversary of the WORST week of my life. Grief is so weird. You’ll be okay, and sometimes you’ll think “I think I’m at the acceptance stage” and then you’ll feel frustrated that it’s been seven of many years, or you’ll feel off the week of the anniversary. I’m just going to try to keep my mind off things. I took a Hyland’s calming pill (natural remedy), and I’ll take my actual anxiety meds later (I take them daily). I have work to do so I’ll just try to focus on that and The Golden GIrls (I just started at season one again). Anyways, I just wanted to get that off my chest. You all have a good day and I’ll try to be back later. Take care. Photo Credit: Pixabay.