I Got Called Out on the Mat
@ElusiveButterfly (45940)
United States
July 12, 2020 8:24am CST
My niece recently graduated from college with her bachelor's degree. I am very proud of her for her accomplishments. She graduated high in the class on the Dean's list.
My SIL planned a graduation party for her. The guest list was about 25+ people. It surpasses my comfort level and I responded that "maybe" to the invitation. I then sent her some suggestions to serving of food and social distancing. She never responded.
We did not attend the party. I received a message at 12:30 a.m. that they were disappointed and hurt that we didn't attend. Also went on that they kept social distance and said there was 2-3 other children there. Well, in my mind's eye, 25+ people are too many to congregate. Especially when you don't know where these people have been, have they practiced social distancing, worn a mask, etc.
I replied to her stating that I haven't attended any parties since March and will not be attending any parties for quite a while. Not that I don't want to see people I love, but I just want to feel safe. I then sent her a link to an article saying that 5 people in our area tested positive for COVID and this included 2 children.
For me, I would rather stay home. There will come a time when it will be safe again to gather in groups without fear of illness. Now is not that time.
9 people like this
10 responses
@Namelesss (3368)
• United States
12 Jul 20
I would suggest that anyone who has been staying home away from people to continue doing so. You shouldn't feel bad at all for not attending.
2 people like this
@ElusiveButterfly (45940)
• United States
12 Jul 20
I do not feel bad for not going. But, I believe that the comment she made was meant to make me feel bad. I am not going to risk our personal safety for the sake of a party.
1 person likes this
@ElusiveButterfly (45940)
• United States
13 Jul 20
@Namelesss she will hold on to this for a while. But, yes, she will eventually get over it.
2 people like this
@Namelesss (3368)
• United States
12 Jul 20
@ElusiveButterfly Sounds like it but she will get over it.
2 people like this
@Juliaacv (48391)
• Canada
12 Jul 20
I do not blame you.
It is far too soon to be going out to gatherings with that many people.
Cases are on the rise, and you have so much to be careful about, yourself, for your health and also for that of L'il Miss.
I believe that the next year will be like this, no large gatherings, just to be safe.
2 people like this
@ElusiveButterfly (45940)
• United States
12 Jul 20
I know I make a lot of people angry and they think I am overly concerned, but there are so many unknowns that we really should be more thinking of what can happen. We can stay connected in other ways.
2 people like this
@Juliaacv (48391)
• Canada
12 Jul 20
@ElusiveButterfly Better to anger them then to upset them with pity if you contract the virus.
Technology is making staying connected easier.
2 people like this
@BarBaraPrz (45476)
• St. Catharines, Ontario
12 Jul 20
You did the right thing. You have to keep yourself safe even if others won't. When I went out yesterday to pick up my new computer I noticed a lot fewer people wearing masks, but all the stores were still limiting how many people could enter at a time, and there was hand sanitizer everywhere.
2 people like this
@ElusiveButterfly (45940)
• United States
13 Jul 20
Even with the numbers low in our state and new cases a an even lower number, I am not feeling it is safe for us to venture out into public. When I go into a store, I leave Little Miss at home or with my sister.
2 people like this
@ElusiveButterfly (45940)
• United States
13 Jul 20
I have never missed one of her celebrations. She is a delightful young woman and I am so proud of her accomplishments. However, we live in a time when it isn't really safe to gather in groups.
I still need to find the perfect gift for her. Once I do, we will deliver it to her.
2 people like this
@ElusiveButterfly (45940)
• United States
12 Jul 20
Our state welcomes visitors and there are a lot of people from out of state in our stores, shops, and restaurants. I am not going to chance being in large groups.
1 person likes this
@Butterfingers (66585)
• India
12 Jul 20
You did the right that because it's like impossible to practice social distancing when we have around 25 to 30 people for a party
2 people like this
@ElusiveButterfly (45940)
• United States
12 Jul 20
I was going to go early for a little while, but it was so hot outside, I decided to stay home.
2 people like this
@ScribbledAdNauseum (104632)
• United States
12 Jul 20
I have seen and heard recent reports about people who had such parties and then half of the people there contracted the virus, including children. I think 25 people is far too many as well.
2 people like this
@ElusiveButterfly (45940)
• United States
12 Jul 20
I have heard this too and I don't want to chance Little Miss catching this. Scares the crap out of me.
1 person likes this
@moffittjc (118433)
• Gainesville, Florida
15 Jul 20
I'm sure they were hurt by your absence, but they need to respect your wishes to ensure your safety. At least you had a very valid reason for not attending. They should be understanding in this situation. It would be an entirely different story if you had just not gone without any excuse whatsoever. But in this case your health and safety took precedence over the party. Very understandable.
1 person likes this
@ElusiveButterfly (45940)
• United States
15 Jul 20
My niece understood and said that she can't wait for the day when we can all gather together safely. I too anxiously await that day. Doubtful it will happen anytime soon though.
1 person likes this
@moffittjc (118433)
• Gainesville, Florida
15 Jul 20
@ElusiveButterfly I'm glad your niece understood. Since it was her party, her acceptance of your reasoning is most important. If others are upset or hurt by your absence, well, they just need to get over it. I'm glad your niece is looking forward to seeing you sometime in the distant future. I wanted to say near future, but like you said, I don't think that will happen anytime soon.
@Fa_Maverick (9458)
• Australia
14 Jul 20
I think her feelings would have been more hurt if someone got corona or spread it to her guests at her party... 25+ people congregating... definitely a nope in my opinion... It is a pandemic... no need to take your non-attendance personally...
1 person likes this
@ElusiveButterfly (45940)
• United States
15 Jul 20
We have been invited to another graduation party this weekend. I also declined. Although my niece was a bit disappointed (I am her favorite aunt), she understood my reasons for not attending.
1 person likes this
@ElusiveButterfly (45940)
• United States
16 Jul 20
@Fa_Maverick I am hoping that things will be better by this time next year.
1 person likes this
@Fa_Maverick (9458)
• Australia
15 Jul 20
@ElusiveButterfly That is good she understood I would hope people in my life would understand too but probably not. For my graduation celebration next year I might go out for dinner if things quieten down
1 person likes this
@ElusiveButterfly (45940)
• United States
12 Jul 20
It is not just the younger people, it is the older people as well. Our state has the lowest numbers of confirmed COVID and there are way too many who think they are "safe."
1 person likes this
