Suicide Threats as an Excuse

@Namelesss (3255)
United States
February 2, 2021 2:10pm CST
Suicide is a serious matter. Anyone who has felt like committing suicide or ever known someone who was suicidal or committed suicide knows what I mean. It is a sad day when someone is so down they think life just isn't worth the effort. However I hear people all the time who use suicide as a control mechanism. And it pisses me off!!! My kids have a friend who is guilty of using the threat of suicide to control them. My kids are all grown just so you know. They hate it when she does this and finally I had had enough and called her on it. I told her to sit down at the dining table, we needed to talk. At the moment there was no one else around so this was the perfect opportunity. ------- "I do not intend to have a conversation with you, I intend to crawl your butt and for you to sit there and hear me out. But know this, I love you, you are part of our family and we all love you. BUT you have got to stop threatening your friends with suicide. You are playing games with them. If you want to kill yourself go ahead, nobody is stopping you. But don't you ever let me hear tell of you threatening them that if they don't throw you a pity party that you are gonna 'do it'. You tell them they don't care and are avoiding you? Of course they are, look at what you are doing to them. YOU are the one tying them up into knots and screwing with their emotions. Now Stop! You spent your whole life growing up (I watched you grow) excited to finally be grown and make your own rules and live life on your terms. Hell girl, your 22 years old, do you know what that means. IT MEANS YOU MADE IT! YOU'VE ARRIVED! YOUR ALL GROWN UP NOW! And you want to waste it being childish. You are loved and you know it now behave." ------- I didn't particularly like saying some of those things to her but she needed to hear it. Sometimes we all need someone to spell it out for us, someone who loves us enough and is brave enough to tell us what we need to hear. I knew the kids, grown though they are just couldn't bring themselves to tell her. As the adult in the room (so to speak) and as the mother I figured even if this beautiful young lady hated me afterwards at least someone would have taken the time to tell her the truth. This took place months ago and there have been no further threats of suicide. I urge anyone feeling suicidal to get some help. Talk to someone. If you are a young person realize that you really do have a life ahead of you. Remember when you were young and all you wanted was to grow up and run your own life. If you haven't made it that far yet, you will but you have to keep going to get there. Then no one owns you, then you are your own boss and the master of your own destiny. You owe it to yourself to at least make it that far if you possibly can. I believe you can. Suicide prevention hotline: 1-800-273-8255
16 people like this
9 responses
@Dena91 (11123)
• United States
2 Feb
Glad that your stepped up and talked with her. Good for you. I hope that is something she will reflect on the rest of her life.
4 people like this
@snowy22315 (108009)
• United States
3 Feb
It sounds like your talk had an impact and I am glad it did.
3 people like this
@jaboUK (63546)
• United Kingdom
8 Feb
You are very wise Elaine - that talking to may have been just what she needed.
2 people like this
@Namelesss (3255)
• United States
8 Feb
I do hope and think it helped. Don't know how wise I am, sometimes I feel mighty foolish.
1 person likes this
@jaboUK (63546)
• United Kingdom
8 Feb
@Namelesss Don't we all???
1 person likes this
@CarolDM (117022)
• Nashville, Tennessee
2 Feb
My son never said a word before taking his life.
1 person likes this
@Namelesss (3255)
• United States
2 Feb
My own son also attempted it but survived. I will always that memory of that moment. I am so very sorry for your loss. Wrapping you in hugs.
2 people like this
@CarolDM (117022)
• Nashville, Tennessee
2 Feb
@Namelesss Thank you. Happy your son survived.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
3 Feb
@Namelesss as a survivor, how does your son react every time their friend says it?
@RebeccasFarm (22044)
• Denver, Colorado
2 Feb
Yeah I knew someone like that and told them dont ever say that to me again..they stopped and they are still alive. Good job Nameless.
1 person likes this
@Namelesss (3255)
• United States
2 Feb
Me too OT and every time someone says that to me it cuts like a knife. If they are serious I absolutely want to get them help. If they are using it for an excuse I'm capable of going off on them big time.
2 people like this
@stephcjh (33549)
• United States
23 Feb
Right. It is so hard to find the right person to talk to that truly understands what you are going through and is truly willing to be there for you or help these days though. Genuinely few and far between it seems but I agree people can reach out but I hope they reach to the right source and land the perfect person to help them out of the slump they are in.
1 person likes this
@Debscrochet (1969)
• United States
3 Feb
I knew someone who did. As far as i know, she just did it. No threats.
1 person likes this
• Defuniak Springs, Florida
2 Feb
A lot of people use it as a way to get attention. I'm not saying that everybody who says they're going to kill themselves are using it to get attention but a lot of people are
@Namelesss (3255)
• United States
2 Feb
True there are those who really need help and they might be afraid to say anything for fear of not being taken seriously or coming across as one who is just trying to get attention.
1 person likes this
• Defuniak Springs, Florida
3 Feb
@Namelesss I honestly think 80 percent of people who say it are just saying it to gain attention.
1 person likes this
@thelme55 (63810)
• Germany
2 Feb
I am glad you talked to the young girl. It was about time that you have said it. Well done.
@Namelesss (3255)
• United States
2 Feb
I hope so Thelma, this subject is very near to me.
1 person likes this