How Does This Help an Argument?

@much2say (47106)
Los Angeles, California
February 11, 2021 2:13pm CST
My neighbor is loud. I can hear her every morning along with the birds. And every other word seems to be "F". F'in this, F'in that. She has no problem with confrontation. She yells at her husband, sons, dogs, and whomever she's on the phone with. I'm not eavesdropping . . . she is just LOUD. But one day I did eavesdrop . She and her husband marched across the street to argue with a man passing by in his wheelchair. I don't know exactly what happened, though it appeared that it had something to do with his big dog. They were out there arguing for a good half hour. I couldn't hear much except for her distinct Fs. But in the end, all I heard from the man was "Why do you say 'F you' to me . . . why do you have to say that . . . " And I thought the same thing. She was obviously infuriated, but what good is saying "F you" in an argument? It has no substance, really. I guess that's all she had left to say. I admit I will use some choice words at times. But I don't think "F you" holds up in a debate. What do you think?
29 people like this
30 responses
@CarolDM (118934)
• Nashville, Tennessee
11 Feb
That word should don't be used no matter how mad you get.
7 people like this
@much2say (47106)
• Los Angeles, California
11 Feb
Right. Having kids here we have made it a point to never use such words in the house. And we just don't.
6 people like this
@CarolDM (118934)
• Nashville, Tennessee
11 Feb
@much2say Good decision.
3 people like this
@kobesbuddy (119521)
• East Tawas, Michigan
11 Feb
@much2say Cussing is a sign of ignorance, on the part of people who do this.
3 people like this
@kobesbuddy (119521)
• East Tawas, Michigan
11 Feb
Foul language is a way for certain people to throw their weight around, when they don't have anything worth saying.
6 people like this
@much2say (47106)
• Los Angeles, California
11 Feb
What happened to people watching their language, right? They seem to have no filter these days - it's become such a habit that they just say it like breathing.
4 people like this
@kobesbuddy (119521)
• East Tawas, Michigan
11 Feb
@much2say It's the sign of ignorance, they have no English skills for speaking.
1 person likes this
11 Feb
@much2say Speaking of filters, in my 71 years of life, there was a time when men, real men, didn’t swear in front of women no matter what the occasion might be. As a matter of fact, when a woman entered into a room, it didn’t make any difference what the conversation was or what type of argument the men were in, any and all bad language stopped. It just wasn’t accepted and believe it or not, women wouldn’t dare curse in public at all because it was considered the language of a “loose” woman. Today is totally different. It seems that men feel that in order to appear tough and able to a woman he has to out-curse other males. Women, on the other hand, are displaying their equality with men by being able to duplicate or even use more foul language than the men. Alas, the dam has burst and I’m afraid that there is nothing we can do about it but hope that parents and schools start teaching etiquette again along with being able to speak like gentlemen and ladies.
3 people like this
@JimBo452020 (42933)
• Montrose, Scotland
11 Feb
It is not something I would ever say. It's hardly a debate though that you eavesdropped on. Did the man in the wheel chair have a big dog? What dd the dog do? F You is usually used when someone has been out debated. On here the.equivalent to saying F You is blocking someone, it's a jolly nice thing to do.
5 people like this
@much2say (47106)
• Los Angeles, California
11 Feb
They were arguing hard, but I don't know about what. Maybe the dog was not leashed or it trampled or pooed on my neighbor's flowers without him cleaning after it. In any case, she was super pissed. Blocking here is a pleasant way of saying FU.
3 people like this
@JimBo452020 (42933)
• Montrose, Scotland
11 Feb
@much2say Very jolly
1 person likes this
11 Feb
We have the same type of turmoil on our street coupled with the same kind of language. Matter of fact, the major portion of it comes from people walking down the street whilst screaming at someone via their cell phones. It seems that the longer it goes on, the louder the voice gets and the more rabid the language becomes until there is no recognizable structure of sentences at all but merely MF, FY, B___h, etc, etc. Not to be too rude, but dropping the “F” bomb at someone and name calling never solved a single debate and only exposes the perpetrator of such language as being a bit slow witted and / or has anger issues. Moreover, having to continually use such language is highly indicative of someone who hasn’t yet grown up and gotten away from those years when as a child, they would spout a bunch of pejoratives to feel all grown up. Just my opinion.....
4 people like this
@much2say (47106)
• Los Angeles, California
11 Feb
Ugh - yes, we hear that coming from folks who walk with their phones too . . . whether at home, or stores - do they not understand that everyone around them can hear them? Or they just don't care. Isn't it awful? It's like their conversation skills are based around those words . Right - it's simply immature. They use cheap word jabs meant to create an impact, but all it does is show how unrefined they are. I don't doubt that no one may have corrected these people in their childhood - it would not surprise me if their parents spoke in the same crude manner - as they say the apple does not fall far from the tree.
2 people like this
• United States
11 Feb
Those "F" words feel pretty good in the heat of the moment. They make a person feel superior somehow when it's the furthest thing from the truth.
2 people like this
@much2say (47106)
• Los Angeles, California
11 Feb
True - they're just explosive words that people use to get a rise from someone.
2 people like this
• United States
11 Feb
@much2say I've used them before in an argument and always felt rather stupid once I calmed down.
2 people like this
@much2say (47106)
• Los Angeles, California
11 Feb
@ScribbledAdNauseum I know . . . well sometimes it just blurts out .
1 person likes this
@jstory07 (101362)
• Roseburg, Oregon
11 Feb
That is one word I do not like hearing and I never use it.
2 people like this
@much2say (47106)
• Los Angeles, California
11 Feb
I have great respect for those who watch their language!!
11 Feb
I don't use the word, and I don't like it. It's become common somehow. I was taught that it was not only a horrible word to use, but that it shows ignorance to use it, so I never have. Growing up if I would have used it I am certain it would have led to a mouthfull of Lava soap.
1 person likes this
@much2say (47106)
• Los Angeles, California
12 Feb
@MarieCoyle Growing up I would never say these things - right, I'd be in big trouble for it! And it is extremely sad that it has become part of everyday conversation. It is disrespectful too and how is it that these people do not understand this.
1 person likes this
@myklj999 (54500)
• United States
11 Feb
If you add "and the horse you rode in on!" ONCE at the very end of an argument, it is appropriate, but any other use shows lower social speaking skills.
2 people like this
@much2say (47106)
• Los Angeles, California
11 Feb
At least that has more of an explanation to it !
1 person likes this
@DaddyEvil (34679)
• United States
11 Feb
I have used that expression once or twice as I was walking away from a "debate"... actually a very loud argument and as a parting shot it made me quite happy! Normally, every other word out of my mouth isn't a curse word, but I do sometimes say one in general conversation... Have you read the latest that scientists have to say about cursing? Maybe your next-door-neighbor is more intelligent than you think?
https://www.discovermagazine.com/health/worried-about-your-foul-mouth-swearing-could-actually-be-good-for-you
1 person likes this
@much2say (47106)
• Los Angeles, California
12 Feb
I might say a word here and there but definitely I wouldn't direct it at a person - not in me to do that. I just don't like to hear it when it is excessive. I don't think I've ever been in a heated argument where I felt like I had to use it. Parting shot . I have heard that stuff about cussing. One of my potty mouth friends shared a similar article on FB. I don't think my neighbor is not intelligent . . . she just rubs me the wrong way in multiple ways. And she's always so pissy, high and mighty - not always a pleasant person.
1 person likes this
@DaddyEvil (34679)
• United States
12 Feb
@much2say Yeah, when we already don't like someone, anything they do, even if we wouldn't notice/care about it in someone else, can get under our skin... It's a shame she lives so close to you. Sometimes it's easier to put up with someone's odd little ways if they aren't right on top of you.
1 person likes this
@much2say (47106)
• Los Angeles, California
12 Feb
@DaddyEvil Right. It's just a whole lot of things - too long to explain here. We speak when we speak, but I don't want to get close to them. And maybe it's mutual.
1 person likes this
@thelme55 (64519)
• Germany
11 Feb
OMG! I don’t want to have a neighbour like that. That F word turns me off when watching a movie. So I don’t watch it anymore. I can’t understand why people are putting those F words in their mouth. Just disgusting to hear.
1 person likes this
@much2say (47106)
• Los Angeles, California
12 Feb
I wish I could turn my neighbor off like the TV. It sounds like she's always mad (well I guess she is) - it's just tiring to hear it all the time (and seriously, I hear her like this every morning!).
1 person likes this
@thelme55 (64519)
• Germany
12 Feb
@much2say I am glad my neighbours are quiet. I seldom see them as well.
1 person likes this
@much2say (47106)
• Los Angeles, California
12 Feb
@thelme55 You are lucky! Today this neighbor seems quiet. Maybe she read my post .
1 person likes this
@allknowing (89573)
• India
12 Feb
It sure shows her upbringing
1 person likes this
@much2say (47106)
• Los Angeles, California
12 Feb
Right. I've met her friends from childhood . . . they are very much like her .
1 person likes this
@allknowing (89573)
• India
12 Feb
@much2say I do not think she went to a convent school where the nuns really take the trouble to teach ethics and manners.
1 person likes this
@much2say (47106)
• Los Angeles, California
12 Feb
@allknowing Ohhhh, definitely not!
1 person likes this
@LadyDuck (327719)
• Switzerland
12 Feb
It is not a world I ever say. You can discuss, even go into arguments if there is something wrong, but bad words are not the way to fix problems.
1 person likes this
@much2say (47106)
• Los Angeles, California
12 Feb
There is no reason to use bad language - there really isn't. I actually have more respect for those who don't have to resort to foul words to express themselves.
1 person likes this
@LadyDuck (327719)
• Switzerland
13 Feb
@much2say To yell to be listened is also something that I cannot stand. In my opinion if you yell you are wrong, if you have something to say and you are right, just explain your point politely.
1 person likes this
@much2say (47106)
• Los Angeles, California
15 Feb
@LadyDuck Exactly. People just seem nastier to each other in general these days. No one feels like they have to be polite anymore - people's behaviors towards each other is just horrendous. I don't yell at people, but I might yell at my kids .
1 person likes this
@RebeccasFarm (22537)
• Denver, Colorado
12 Feb
Its crass to be like that but there are many that are not even aware of how gross they are. Sorry you got that loudness to deal with. I do too Much
1 person likes this
@much2say (47106)
• Los Angeles, California
12 Feb
Crass - yes, that's a good word for her! Ugh I cannot stand people who are not self aware . . . it is as if they cannot hear themselves . I'm sorry you have to put up with that too .
1 person likes this
• Denver, Colorado
12 Feb
1 person likes this
@much2say (47106)
• Los Angeles, California
12 Feb
1 person likes this
@vandana7 (79924)
• India
17 Feb
I think bad words in language are a way to relieve stress equivalent to punching a punch bag. That said, nobody likes to be treated as a punch bag. The word has ceased to import the meaning it has. It is just as good as verbal blow. Even otherwise, it serves no purpose in any debate. She is just habituated to using it, and is possibly trapped in a marriage or job from which she sees no escape so she is letting go of the steam that way I suppose.
1 person likes this
@much2say (47106)
• Los Angeles, California
17 Feb
It is a stress reliever - but like you said it can also be a punching bag to make stress intentionally for someone else. It has no meaning in a debate . . . it's just lashing out vulgar words for impact. This neighbor is always angry - or at least she is always speaking in an angry tone. Even her own dogs seem to get her mad all the time and she tells them to shut up constantly. It's funny because the times that I have talked or texted to her, everything is "great" to the point of boasting. But what I hear is something else!!
1 person likes this
@vandana7 (79924)
• India
17 Feb
@much2say If she is saying she is great ..she is not...there is something that is eating her. In fact, that cover up that she is doing is what is making things worse for her. While sharing family secrets is not so good, if it affects the behavior so much such that another person can deduce or understand - then it cannot be a family secret anymore, can it be? It might as well come out.
1 person likes this
@much2say (47106)
• Los Angeles, California
19 Feb
@vandana7 Right. All that yelling she does in her house and yard can't be for "no" reason. I do find it funny for her to say to me that things are great . . . her yelling, I know is great .
1 person likes this
• China
15 Feb
Dirty words seem to be your neighbor’ habitual tag.Everyone would take offence at that.
1 person likes this
@much2say (47106)
• Los Angeles, California
15 Feb
Unfortunately her kitchen window is closest to our house only, so we are the ones who would hear her words (she really is loud). Sadly there are other on this street who also have a foul mouth, but at least we don't hear them unless we talk to each other (which is not often).
1 person likes this
• China
16 Feb
@much2say I dislike people who swear at others. I think they are ill- bred!
1 person likes this
@much2say (47106)
• Los Angeles, California
17 Feb
@changjiangzhibin89 I know what area she grew up in - one would think she came from a well to do family. But I guess that does not matter - ill bred is ill bred no matter what economic level they are in.
@DianneN (220799)
• United States
13 Feb
People use it too freely. It shouldn’t be used at all.
1 person likes this
@much2say (47106)
• Los Angeles, California
15 Feb
Right. And how sad she talks this way to her own family .
1 person likes this
@DianneN (220799)
• United States
16 Feb
@much2say Exactly!
1 person likes this
@moonandstars (46925)
• Zagreb, Croatia (Hrvatska)
12 Feb
some people find it normal if they are swearing for too many years but, no, it's not good.
1 person likes this
@much2say (47106)
• Los Angeles, California
12 Feb
Right - it's like breathing to them. Just a bad habit .
1 person likes this
• Zagreb, Croatia (Hrvatska)
14 Feb
@much2say once, i couldn't take it anymore, with some female colleague and she said it's not a big deal and got offended. and what about my head and ears?
1 person likes this
@db20747 (33661)
• Washington, District Of Columbia
7 Mar
Those arguments occurs around here often and that word sometimes seems as normal as hello!! But I'm learning to walk away from and stop using this word!
1 person likes this
@much2say (47106)
• Los Angeles, California
8h
Right . . . it's just part of everyday language now . I don't use this word to argue with people, but oh I sure think it .
1 person likes this
@BelleStarr (57795)
• United States
18 Feb
It is vulgar, nuff said!!
1 person likes this
@much2say (47106)
• Los Angeles, California
19 Feb
It is . . . and I even heard her this morning .
1 person likes this
• Midland, Michigan
15 Feb
I agree and she probably used the term in everyday talking not just the arguing which you hear. Maybe she doesn't like her life and is mad at the world in general.
1 person likes this
@much2say (47106)
• Los Angeles, California
15 Feb
Oh yes - she is definitely a potty mouth period even without arguing. I hear it every morning outside (can't help it - she really is that loud). Right - she is just an angry person and is lashing out at all times.
1 person likes this
@jaboUK (63782)
• United Kingdom
14 Feb
I find that word offensive, doubly so if it's coming from a woman.
1 person likes this
@much2say (47106)
• Los Angeles, California
15 Feb
I don't know why people use that word freely like breathing these days. Knowing where she grew up, I would have thought she would be more proper, but I guess not.
1 person likes this