In Complete Contrast

@Juliaacv (54136)
Canada
April 5, 2021 6:18am CST
My hubby has 3 brothers and also has 4 sisters. Even though they are all grown, they are still very close and tight-knit. They are spread out here and there and nobody lives closely as we all once did. My hubs sent out a group chat yesterday to everyone. The response was quick by all. His phone was exploding with incoming texts. It was so nice to hear from everyone. We have not gathered together in 16 months. Everyone is aging, and we have 1 family member with terminal cancer. In complete contrast, my 3 brothers, have nothing to do with each other or me. Its strange how similar yet so different families can be. At one point both of our families tolerated each other and gathered, his family still does, except during this pandemic, my family does not.
22 people like this
19 responses
@LadyDuck (334448)
• Switzerland
5 Apr
Sorry to hear this Julia, but you know that it is the same for me. My brother does not care to stay in touch with me.
4 people like this
@Juliaacv (54136)
• Canada
5 Apr
I have come to a point where I realize that it is just this way. I feel that it is better then the bickering and squabbling that used to go on. I will always love each of them, but we just have nothing in common and I cannot tolerate their actions so we choose to stay silent.
1 person likes this
@LadyDuck (334448)
• Switzerland
5 Apr
@Juliaacv I feel better not having contact. We tolerated each other when we had family reunions in the past, but he was never nice and I came back home frustrated. I am a lot better now.
1 person likes this
@Juliaacv (54136)
• Canada
5 Apr
@LadyDuck That is how our family gatherings were also, it is a relief not feeling obligated to mix any longer.
1 person likes this
@Hannihar (112649)
• Israel
6 Apr
@Juliaacv I understand what you are saying about your brothers and you. I have a brother and sister and we are not close at all. I thought my sister and I were close growing up but when she became an anorexic everything changed and I no longer have anything to do with her because she was so nasty to me. My brother never was a brother to me and so we only communicate on birthdays and maybe some other times but we are not close. My parents are gone but I was not close with them either. I am admired those that have a close family but now it must be very hard for your husband because he is so close to his. Is his family more of a family to you because yours is not there for you?
1 person likes this
@Juliaacv (54136)
• Canada
6 Apr
At least your brother and you communicate for birthdays. That is better then not. When I met my hubby I was amazed at how his family was close and had such fun together.
1 person likes this
@Hannihar (112649)
• Israel
6 Apr
@Juliaacv Sometimes we do not communicate then either. There is no closeness between him and his family and myself. I remember meeting people that were very close with their family and wished I had that but did not growing up. I did have my grandfather for 14 years that loved and accepted me but the rest of the family when I came to Israel they thought I would be back there and after 34 years I am still here. They were very wrong about me and never really knew me.
1 person likes this
@Juliaacv (54136)
• Canada
6 Apr
@Hannihar My mother is a very distant person. I was lucky that my Dad's parents had a small house on the farm and I was over there alot. My Gramma taught me so much about things that I needed to know in this life. Without her love and guidance and that from my Dad I would have been lost.
1 person likes this
@nela13 (41325)
• Portugal
5 Apr
I only have one sister and I am very close to her so I understand your husband's family.
1 person likes this
@Juliaacv (54136)
• Canada
5 Apr
I have always wondered if my brothers are not resentful of the love and acceptance that I have from my in-laws.
1 person likes this
@nela13 (41325)
• Portugal
5 Apr
@Juliaacv do you think they are?
1 person likes this
@Juliaacv (54136)
• Canada
5 Apr
@nela13 I kind of wonder.
1 person likes this
• United States
5 Apr
I think that's common in a lot of families. My brother rarely kept in contact with me or our mom. His son didn't have much to do with us either. My kids are pretty close so I'm hoping it continues long after I'm gone.
1 person likes this
@Juliaacv (54136)
• Canada
5 Apr
I think that it was my Dad that held us all together as we have drifted since he passed. My older brother has 3 children, and after his wife left him, the 2 younger kids each had a bedroom at our place. The kids were often asking to come for the weekend, they sensed that they needed the stability (or boredom as we called it) that our household offered. I thought that those kids would be tight with us into their adult years, but they are not.
1 person likes this
• United States
5 Apr
@Juliaacv its sad when families drift apart especially when the kids grow up and you don't see them. I'm sorry that your brothers kids don't keep in touch.
1 person likes this
@Juliaacv (54136)
• Canada
5 Apr
@Marilynda1225 That's okay, it is actually a relief as they never were very pleasant.
@HazySue (37510)
• Inverness, Florida
5 Apr
It is strange how different families can be. My husbands family is tight knit while mine is not in touch. My girls are also tight knit with my husbands family.
1 person likes this
@Juliaacv (54136)
• Canada
5 Apr
Even as children, my brothers were not close at all. We just grew up under the same roof basically. As teenagers the boys became very competitive and quick to put me and each other down at any cost.
1 person likes this
@HazySue (37510)
• Inverness, Florida
10 Apr
@Juliaacv So I hear. I had a brother, we are not in contact.
1 person likes this
@Juliaacv (54136)
• Canada
10 Apr
@HazySue In my heart I still love my brothers, just not their actions.
@RasmaSandra (41147)
• Daytona Beach, Florida
6 Apr
It is very nice when a large family can be close and friendly, That makes it all worthwhile, I am an only child and so now I am all alone,
1 person likes this
@Juliaacv (54136)
• Canada
6 Apr
Have you cousins that you are close with at all?
1 person likes this
@RasmaSandra (41147)
• Daytona Beach, Florida
7 Apr
@Juliaacv I have no more family left here there are some relatives in Latvia but they do not keep in touch
1 person likes this
@CarolDM (127023)
• United States
5 Apr
That is great to hear about a close family. I miss that so much. Enjoy!
1 person likes this
@Juliaacv (54136)
• Canada
5 Apr
I know of alot of families that have a riff in them and then siblings fall out of contact with each other, this seems to be what happened in our family about 10 years ago. I still love my brothers, but the less I see/hear from them the more that I love them.
1 person likes this
@CarolDM (127023)
• United States
5 Apr
1 person likes this
@RebeccasFarm (26826)
• Denver, Colorado
5 Apr
Oh dear Julia sorry to hear of your family. I have something similar here:( But it is what it is. I do know how this feels though and it is certainly not nice. Sorry to hear of the cancer on your husbands side is it?
1 person likes this
• Denver, Colorado
10 Apr
@Juliaacv Oh dear so very sorry
1 person likes this
@rakski (87816)
• Philippines
5 Apr
well that is real life. Are you close to your husband's siblings? me and my siblings are close but we are not close to our cousins and other relatives
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@Juliaacv (54136)
• Canada
5 Apr
Yes, I am very close with my hubby's family. They are much more respectful and fun to be around.
1 person likes this
@rakski (87816)
• Philippines
5 Apr
@Juliaacv That is nice
1 person likes this
@m_audrey6788 (38788)
• Germany
5 Apr
Oh sorry about that. I hope you get some good call with your brothers too. I agree. There are siblings who don`t do the same thing like with your husbands siblings
1 person likes this
@Juliaacv (54136)
• Canada
5 Apr
I'm happy not to hear from the brothers, they will contact me if and when they need something from me. We were never a close family, after my Dad passed away the distance was much more noticeable.
1 person likes this
• Germany
5 Apr
@Juliaacv Oh ok.
1 person likes this
@JudyEv (244771)
• Bunbury, Australia
6 Apr
You're right about families being totally different. Vince's family is very close-knit. I now only have a sister but we are good friends.
1 person likes this
@Juliaacv (54136)
• Canada
6 Apr
We were never close, even as little kids.
1 person likes this
@sjvg1976 (19075)
• Delhi, India
6 Apr
It happens few family have affection and they remain in touch forever. My wife's sisters are like this they gather even for a small event also.
1 person likes this
@Juliaacv (54136)
• Canada
6 Apr
My family hasn't gathered in years, but my hubby's family gathers as often as we can and we are always there for each other.
@Lucky15 (36790)
• Philippines
5 Apr
we are being compared to most of our relatives. us, being this okay despite being orphaned, them siblings fighting each other.
1 person likes this
@Juliaacv (54136)
• Canada
5 Apr
We do not fight, but we also do not communicate.
1 person likes this
@Janet357 (70845)
5 Apr
it is nice that your in-laws are very close to one another. Do your brothers live near your place?
1 person likes this
@Juliaacv (54136)
• Canada
5 Apr
No my brothers all live about an hour away from me.
@marlina (121465)
• Canada
5 Apr
Sorry that it is that way for your family.
1 person likes this
@Juliaacv (54136)
• Canada
5 Apr
It is a relief not to have any dealings with them as it was terrible previously. I am thankful that my in-laws are a big loving family, we have so much fun together.
@Courtlynn (70016)
• United States
10 Apr
It is strange. My family was close as i was growing up, but not since my teen years. If not just before. My brother and i aren't close much either. It's whatever. Cant change things so. Just hope if i have more kids, they are close all their lives.
1 person likes this
@Rashnag (9546)
• Thane, India
6 Apr
Good to know. Everyone is connected on phones during this pandemic. Take care dear
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@Robinhuut (321)
• Bogor, Indonesia
6 Apr
Enjoying the beauty of being with our closest family makes us feel happy
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@kaylachan (16765)
• Daytona Beach, Florida
5 Apr
That is quite the contrast.
1 person likes this