In Complete Contrast
April 5, 2021 6:18am CST
My hubby has 3 brothers and also has 4 sisters. Even though they are all grown, they are still very close and tight-knit. They are spread out here and there and nobody lives closely as we all once did. My hubs sent out a group chat yesterday to everyone. The response was quick by all. His phone was exploding with incoming texts. It was so nice to hear from everyone. We have not gathered together in 16 months. Everyone is aging, and we have 1 family member with terminal cancer. In complete contrast, my 3 brothers, have nothing to do with each other or me. Its strange how similar yet so different families can be. At one point both of our families tolerated each other and gathered, his family still does, except during this pandemic, my family does not.
22 people like this
I have come to a point where I realize that it is just this way. I feel that it is better then the bickering and squabbling that used to go on. I will always love each of them, but we just have nothing in common and I cannot tolerate their actions so we choose to stay silent.
@Juliaacv I understand what you are saying about your brothers and you. I have a brother and sister and we are not close at all. I thought my sister and I were close growing up but when she became an anorexic everything changed and I no longer have anything to do with her because she was so nasty to me. My brother never was a brother to me and so we only communicate on birthdays and maybe some other times but we are not close. My parents are gone but I was not close with them either. I am admired those that have a close family but now it must be very hard for your husband because he is so close to his. Is his family more of a family to you because yours is not there for you?
@Juliaacv Sometimes we do not communicate then either. There is no closeness between him and his family and myself. I remember meeting people that were very close with their family and wished I had that but did not growing up. I did have my grandfather for 14 years that loved and accepted me but the rest of the family when I came to Israel they thought I would be back there and after 34 years I am still here. They were very wrong about me and never really knew me.
@Hannihar My mother is a very distant person. I was lucky that my Dad's parents had a small house on the farm and I was over there alot. My Gramma taught me so much about things that I needed to know in this life. Without her love and guidance and that from my Dad I would have been lost.
I think that it was my Dad that held us all together as we have drifted since he passed. My older brother has 3 children, and after his wife left him, the 2 younger kids each had a bedroom at our place. The kids were often asking to come for the weekend, they sensed that they needed the stability (or boredom as we called it) that our household offered. I thought that those kids would be tight with us into their adult years, but they are not.
I know of alot of families that have a riff in them and then siblings fall out of contact with each other, this seems to be what happened in our family about 10 years ago. I still love my brothers, but the less I see/hear from them the more that I love them.
• United States
It is strange. My family was close as i was growing up, but not since my teen years. If not just before. My brother and i aren't close much either. It's whatever. Cant change things so. Just hope if i have more kids, they are close all their lives.