Goodbye Dad
By Bensen32
@Bensen32 (28658)
United States
July 26, 2021 7:11pm CST
Hello,
If some of you remember I had mentioned a while back that my dad had cancer. He lost his battle with it on July 15th. My last post was on July 7th that is when he really made a turn for the worst, and I was trying to spend as much time as I could with him and then on the 15th he past in the early morning.
The last week and a couple days have been hard on the family, and I been doing my best to be there for my sisters and take care of as much as I can. It has really been running me down. His house is a little over and hour away and I been making many trips down there. Both sisters live close to him, and I been working and driving out there and then back home to go to work the next day.
We had the wake and funeral last week and that was difficult, trying to stay strong for my sisters. I finally allowed myself a good cry yesterday when I got home in the evening. I knew it would come sooner or later but I just didn’t want to do it around my sisters. My son (26 years old) asked when I was going to let it hit me and yesterday, he knocked on my door asking if I was alright and if I wanted to be alone. He really knows me, I just wanted to let it all out and be left alone.
My dad and I were never really close, I guess that was just his generation or something. I did get to say my piece before he passed. I forgive him and I don’t hold it against him anymore. I have gotten past all that, years ago, not saying it doesn’t hurt a little but there was nothing I could do to change the past.
Well, I hope all of you and yours are doing well. Thank you for letting me put this out there.
24 people like this
24 responses
@GardenGerty (169406)
• United States
27 Jul 21
I am sorry for your family's loss. Glad that you have made peace before he passed.
5 people like this
@kobesbuddy (78833)
• East Tawas, Michigan
27 Jul 21
I'm really sorry to hear about this, Benson. Our fathers were similar, they had a hard time displaying love. Yet, we finally became friends, as hard as it was to forget the past and move forward. Why don't you speak with JJ, he just lost his father, not to long ago. It might help both of you get through this, as friends.
2 people like this
@kobesbuddy (78833)
• East Tawas, Michigan
27 Jul 21
@Bensen32 It's a shock at first, to lose one of our parents. I think losing my mother was the hardest adjustment. I would talk with her, about things that were heavy on my heart. She was proud of me, as her daughter. I never knew this before!
1 person likes this
@Bensen32 (28658)
• United States
27 Jul 21
@kobesbuddy Oh that is so nice, it is very hard. I think at least we knew it was coming, not sure how much easier it was but at least we knew to take the time to spend with him.
2 people like this
@snowy22315 (208747)
• United States
27 Jul 21
I am sorry for your loss. It is always hard to lose someone whether you were close or not..I am glad you were able to say your piece. I am sure it was therapeutic.
1 person likes this
@snowy22315 (208747)
• United States
27 Jul 21
@Bensen32 I am sure it did on some level..
1 person likes this
@Bensen32 (28658)
• United States
27 Jul 21
@snowy22315 Yeah, I like to think so.
1 person likes this
@vandana7 (102698)
• India
27 Jul 21
I understand and I am sorry. I have a million differences with my dad. I find a million faults with him, and I sincerely believe he is at fault. We have plenty of show downs too. Loud ones. But the thought of him dying scares me. I will feel so ..now you are on your own ..in space type of situation. Despite our differences I take care of him because I need him.
1 person likes this
@vandana7 (102698)
• India
27 Jul 21
@Bensen32 I fear losing the anchor and support. The reality is I am doing much without his help, and he only complicates everything. But even so, losing him is not an option I would exercise. Yes, it is the best thing to move forward. Hope god helps you with it.
1 person likes this
@toniganzon (77063)
• Philippines
28 Jul 21
I’m so sorry. At lest you were able to give him that peace before he left. I’m sure he regretted the wrongs he had done in the past.
1 person likes this
@LeaPea2417 (40020)
• Toccoa, Georgia
27 Jul 21
I'm very sorry to read this. May your Dad RIP.
1 person likes this
@florelway (23339)
• Cagayan De Oro, Philippines
27 Jul 21
Condolences. May his soul finds eternal rest. Hoping the best for you and your family. May coping up for the loss comes easier.
1 person likes this
@MarieCoyle (59107)
•
27 Jul 21
It sounds like you have gone above and beyond for your family during all of this. Admirable to be watching out for your sisters. I am also glad for you that you say you talked before he passed away, that had to be cleansing and good. Yes, it hurts, really a lot. I will miss my Dad forever, and he wasn't always in my life as my own mother kept me from him for a long time. We tried to make up for that later in life.
What I want to say is, please be good to yourself. Give yourself time to grieve in your own way. Dust it all off, cry a bit more if you need to. It's good for the mind and heart.
1 person likes this
@Bensen32 (28658)
• United States
28 Jul 21
@MarieCoyle Thank you, yes I feel for those that don't get that last chance. That must be hard on them.
Yes, we have to support those around us, not only in times when there is a passing but in the times we live in right now. Some people are having a hard time of life now and need each other more than ever.
1 person likes this
@MarieCoyle (59107)
•
28 Jul 21
@Bensen32 You are so right, so many people don't get the chance, or don't take the chance if it's given to them. You can feel ok about how it all happened, it sounds like you did the best you could, and you are providing support for other family members. Treat yourself well.
1 person likes this
@Juliaacv (56201)
• Canada
27 Jul 21
I am sorry for your loss, you are a good brother I am sure that your sisters are thankful for your strength.
Your son is looking after you, helping you to cope with the grief.
Give in and go with it.
I just lost my mother on June 11th, and my son was and still is there for me in the same way.
1 person likes this
