Accountability and Gratitude: Winding down before heading to bed
September 15, 2021 12:26am CST
It has been a whirlwind of emotions these last few days. Thanks to all of you who have helped to keep my sanity intact by reading and commenting, and loving me through this sh*t storm of a life I'm leading. Connection Since I finally broke down and surrendered to the feelings of vulnerability, connecting with the doctors, writing a fairly long post in a support group with other "zebras" (people with Neuroendocrine Tumors (NETs) Cancer), and some of the other things I am doing to climb out of this quicksand of despair I have been feeling, some momentum has started to build. Medications and Appointments I am happy to say that I have 90 days of all my normal medications to last me until the prescription review next month. Even though the refills were not to be ready at the drive-thru until tomorrow morning, I took a chance to check and they were there. The refills written by the doctor and sent to the main pharmacy took about 40 minutes once I arrived, so I should feel grateful for that. I have appointments scheduled for some upcoming things with my primary care provider, my consulting oncologist for standard blood markers, other blood work, and vaccines for pneumonia, flu, and (possibly) shingles. I have yet to make eye appointment, mammogram, and bone density tests. I will do that this week, if possible. Tomorrow is my appointment with Seattle Cancer Care Alliance (SCCA). I will speak to the new oncologist, but I will also arrange to get my scans and paperwork sent to the specialist I know in Denver, Colorado. I may not start the specialized treatment right away, but I need to talk to Dr. Zhen tomorrow about what that all means, if I wait to see about surgical options by Dr. Liu. Playing like an ostrich Sticking my head in the sand and hiding from all of this never suits me well. It makes me anxious...more anxious than facing it head on, but I suppose I do it because something in me needs it. Maybe I need to feel uncomfortable, to get my butt in gear. I know that sounds strange, but I certainly know how to be in "crisis mode" and get things done. I am starting to build back the momentum needed in the decluttering. I am behind a day, but I have made some headway, and have sold the bicycle and the tic-tac-toe game. I already have day 30 (30 items) chosen for donation. So, I suppose that, technically speaking, I am caught up, but just doing it a little differently. Chronological doesn't always work for me, I guess! Weight and exercise Another aspect of my life that I must take back is my health where eating and weight is concerned. I have been eating an incredible amount of refined sugar/candy lately. I think it may have been the trigger for the pancreatitis this past week. I also think that I need to eliminate this for other reasons, which will also contribute to getting myself back on track with losing the 30 lbs/13.5kg I put and kept back on in the past year-and-a-half. This morning, I was officially at 205.8 lb/93.4kg. I am down 4.8lb/2.18kg since last week. I also need to be more diligent about moving my body. I have been remiss in getting more than just 15 minutes of exercise a day. And, finally... I am looking forward to seeing Cooper tomorrow. I'm sure he will make me laugh. I talked to RGD tonight, and he said that Cooper was doing much better and seemed to pass whatever was ailing him. That made me happy. Well, I should shut down for now. I have a couple of things I need to accomplish before heading to bed. Goodnight to all.
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My eye appointment is fixed for September 24, I am pretty sure that the doctor will suggest cataract surgery. If I can postpone until next spring I will be glad, we will see. You have a lot scheduled and important goals to reach, but you are doing very well, I know you will lose the extra weight, stress never helps with the body weight. Take care and have a good rest now.