putting cold water on a fire

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When things are firey hot between you and your teenager and you want to scream. You just want to take them and shake them and tell them to grow up you want to tell them to stop acting like a 2 year old but at the same time you have fond memories of when they were innocent and actually enjoyable to be around. Holding my tounge lafely has been like me being the dog on the lead when just our of reach is a cat or an intruder wishing i could take a big chunky bite. But then theres the misstress saying No , I love you and i dont want to have you taken away and put to a forever sleep. . Just another few years and hopefully that cat will become a bareable human again and be tollerable to be around. What can i do in the mean time? SIlence is golden but a person who likes communication its really hard to remain silent especially when the cat remains so angry and on guard. Fire and Ice ,thats what some call it. My Teen is the fire and im the ice but because the fire is so hot the ice turns instantly to steam and rolling clouds assue turning every other fire into a firey infurno. I know this post seems to make very little sence but i have to ramble about how im feeling on the home front. For the record NO im not calling my daughter a cat and im not a dog but sometimes I think the teenage daughter thinks i am. When she will realise that im not going anywhere and that her fighting me will get nowhere because no matter what dispite all the pressure she puts me under at the end of it all she still is important to me and I still care about her, Im not seeking advice on this one just empathy that im not the only person out there with a difficult teenager in thier lives. Rock on theres peace and tranquility in the storm somewhere.