Many Rumors And Unofficial Opinions (MyLot Exclusive #949)

Tweet

Yesterday, I died from Heat Exhaustion. Probably. Unless the rumors of my death have been greatly exaggerated. Again. Soon, we'll know for sure because I've ordered a full investigation. Until it's finished, we are at the mercy of many unofficial and very conflicting opinions. My friend Q says I am dead and I was the victim of the famously insidious Chinese (It is mostly Chinese but China had a lot of help from HAARP and FEMA) Heat Projectile...Well, it would be famous if the Cowardly Disgaceful Fake News LameStream Media would cover it and if the formerly brave and honest OAN hadn't been forced by the Woke Liberal Mob to become just like them...And the most likely delivery device was Jewish Space Lasers. My friend Alex says Q is full of something that I can't say on MyLot ((Hint: It's something you generally try to avoid stepping in)). Furthermore, Alex says I'm alive and will stay so forever and be protected from inter-dimensional child molesters. If I start buying his supplements. It's a little unclear, at least to me, as to why someone my age...I legally changed my age to 27 last year (So I could join the 27 Club but that didn't work out because they then told me all their stupid rules and don't get me started on that) and then I had a birthday, so I'm 28 now...needs protection from child molesters, inter-dimensional or otherwise---Shouldn't that protection be reserved for those who are in danger? But if Alex says I need it, that's good enough for me. Who am I to argue with him? Then there's my friend Mike Pillow. He says he doesn't know if I'm dead or alive but he has enough evidence to put us...All of us. Including him...in jail for life. Even those of us who are already dead. Anyway, we'll soon have all the answers because the investigation into whether or not the rumors of my death have been greatly exaggerated will be complete in only 43 months---If the witnesses willingly cooperate. We'll see what happens.