Love Gone Mad?

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You probably remember me saying that my boyfriend is an indie film actor. It turned out we are not a good match I guess. But who knows. We have not met in person yet. I just thought that he was not as serious as I was to him. I was already actually trying to commit myself to him but some signs showed he was not the one. Now, I have been having a gym buddy and I proposed already to him, but I he wasn't ready yet. I don't know when but every day we meet my attraction to him keeps going. I don't know why. I am just trying to control myself. And because of that gym buddy's situation with me, I committed myself to someone else from Helsinki Finland now. The good thing is that Finland and Saudi Arabia have time difference at all. I like him a lot and he does too like me. We did video chatting. The thing is he is very sexually engaging, which I am a little afraid of. He keeps me sending his sexual videos. I like though but it boggles my mind whether he serious or not. But expressed himself how he got this attraction with me so much. We already made promises. Phew! I really hope this one works. I don't know but I feel like I can't stand it without someone.