Don't Ask Me

@much2say (55982)
Los Angeles, California
August 3, 2022 4:57pm CST
Here, on myLot, we can pick and choose the posts we'd like to comment on. If we have nothing to say, we can just move on. Yesterday, two friends texted me questions in which I did not have answers to. I don't even know why they bothered to ask me. I couldn't simply move on . One wanted to know what could be done about preventing dog poisoning by house thieves. How would I know . . . she knows we do not have any dogs. I gave her some logical suggestions but I would have thought she would be more knowledgeable about the topic (she deals with dog friends, dog neighbors, dog walkers, dog clubs, etc.). ??? Another had a question about school for her kid. I often do have answers, but not about this. I flat out told her I do not know - it's not my realm. So she proceeds to ask more questions about it, even though I just said I didn't know. ??? Maybe I've lost some of my patience . Or maybe I'm just used to moving on like we sometimes do on myLot . What do you do when you can't answer a question?
34 people like this
28 responses
@DaddyEvil (86679)
• United States
3 Aug
I tell the person asking the question that I don't know and keep repeating that until they get tired of asking me questions I can't answer. Sometimes it takes a while before they either believe what I'm saying or decide I don't want to answer for some reason. Either of those work for me now. But, it's entirely possible both of your friends were using you as a sounding board and didn't really expect you to know or give answers to their questions. (I usually tell the other person I just need a sounding board and let them decide if they feel like helping me out or not. *shrug*)
6 people like this
@Kandae11 (46837)
4 Aug
I would definitely want to help , but If l don't know l will tell her l don't but l will also direct her to the organizations which should be able to help.
4 people like this
@DaddyEvil (86679)
• United States
4 Aug
@Kandae11 And you know organizations off the top of your head? Most people don't.
4 people like this
@Kandae11 (46837)
4 Aug
@DaddyEvil Seeing it is a message it will give me time to do a bit of research. Especially when l already have in mind who or where l should call.
4 people like this
@rsa101 (35091)
• Philippines
4 Aug
I think responding that you know nothing about what they are asking is enough to let them know that you have nothing to share with them about the topic. I guess it is just proper not to entertain the follow-up questions anymore to let them know that you have nothing to contribute to them anymore.
5 people like this
@cacay1 (73271)
• Cagayan De Oro, Philippines
4 Aug
@rsa101, it's annoying despite saying a no answer. That's a member of MARITESS
3 people like this
@much2say (55982)
• Los Angeles, California
4 Aug
@rsa101 It should be enough, but oh these gals just kept on going . I did say I didn't know, but perhaps they weren't listening. Maybe they thought I'd come up with an answer if they kept on asking .
3 people like this
@much2say (55982)
• Los Angeles, California
4 Aug
2 people like this
@allknowing (103714)
• India
4 Aug
If I know the answer I will surely help out. I may even use the Net to confirm what I say.
4 people like this
@much2say (55982)
• Los Angeles, California
4 Aug
The thing is these are topics that they would (or should) already know more about than me. They can just as easily look these things up themselves - especially when they are on the computer all day for their occupations .
2 people like this
@allknowing (103714)
• India
4 Aug
@much2say May be they want to have a chat with you?
1 person likes this
@much2say (55982)
• Los Angeles, California
4 Aug
@allknowing Definitely these ladies love to chat . . . and they will go on and on - and ON. But I can't give them lemon juice if I have no lemons - I wish they could understand that earlier in the conversation .
1 person likes this
@TheSojourner (51378)
• United States
4 Aug
I'm thinking that I don't know how to answer that question, What do you do when you can't answer a question? Do you think I should just move on? Sometimes I try and bs my way around things. Sometimes, I try to stir some BS up. Sometimes I just don't care! Of course, if you can't see the sarcasm font being used in here, I can't help that. And, of course, I'm just being a butthead trying to be funny here and poke a little fun and give you some laughs.
3 people like this
@much2say (55982)
• Los Angeles, California
4 Aug
Actually - I totally get the BS part . If it sounds good to them, I can sometimes get away with that . Hooray if they buy it ! But I can't stir up BS with them - they're just not that kind of people. That's why I can't tell them to their face that it was ridiculous to ask me - or keep on asking me . Be a butthead all you want - I welcome the laughs - I need it!!!
2 people like this
• United States
4 Aug
@much2say Oh, I do not stir up BS with those particular people. I try to avoid most of it nowadays. I don't need to stress. I like to make you laugh. And we all need it. I just like playing with you. And you understand me, and don't take life too seriously!
1 person likes this
@much2say (55982)
• Los Angeles, California
4 Aug
@TheSojourner I know it. There's the funny BS, but then there's the BS crap that no one needs to hear . . . that one I don't like. Laughter is a good thing - and boy we all do need more it. Time and place for everything - I'm glad we "get" each other and don't have misunderstandings and such .
1 person likes this
@RebeccasFarm (66821)
• United States
3 Aug
I ignore the relentless quest for knowledge
3 people like this
@much2say (55982)
• Los Angeles, California
4 Aug
I love what you said ! I wish I could ignore . . . it's hard for me to ignore friends though .
1 person likes this
• United States
4 Aug
@much2say Well yes it is I understand
1 person likes this
@much2say (55982)
• Los Angeles, California
4 Aug
1 person likes this
@toniganzon (69716)
• Philippines
4 Aug
I simply tell that I don't know the answer. Maybe they think that you're highly knowledgeable about many things that's why they asked you those questions.
3 people like this
@much2say (55982)
• Los Angeles, California
4 Aug
I've helped them a lot about other things . . . but these topics I have not a clue about. Maybe I should be flattered instead of annoyed . No - I'm annoyed .
1 person likes this
@kaylachan (35573)
• Daytona Beach, Florida
3 Aug
Tell the person I don't know, and tell them to look it up. Then I move on.
3 people like this
@snowy22315 (140184)
• United States
3 Aug
I don't think there is much you can do besides say you don't know. My go to is maybe you can do some research online...It makes me wonder why people think I know??
3 people like this
@much2say (55982)
• Los Angeles, California
4 Aug
The thing is these gals are on the computer all the time for their occupations - they should already know to go research these things for themselves. Why don't they?? I'm sure the answers are already out there!!
@Namelesss (3419)
• United States
3 Aug
After I've said 'I don't know' I just let them talk. I figure they aren't really wanting an answer so much as a sounding board while they work it out for themselves. So I just hem and haw and un hu while they do that.
2 people like this
@much2say (55982)
• Los Angeles, California
4 Aug
Hi Namelesss . . . long time no see ! Yahhhh, that's pretty much what happened. There's only so many times you can say I-don't-know to the point where you have to wonder if they're even listening. Good think over the phone they cannot see yawns .
@Namelesss (3419)
• United States
4 Aug
@much2say Haha, hi hon. I know what you mean. I have two I talk to as well and if they could see the yawns . I'm afraid one day soon they are likely to hear the snores.
1 person likes this
@much2say (55982)
• Los Angeles, California
4 Aug
@Namelesss Snores . I should just hit mute and let them go on and on .
1 person likes this
@MALUSE (68687)
• Germany
3 Aug
I think I wouldn't be able *not* to point out to them that it isn't a sign of intelligence to go on asking after getting a negative answer.
2 people like this
@much2say (55982)
• Los Angeles, California
4 Aug
Believe me, I would have loved to have pointed that out . But these friends aren't the types that could handle such criticism. I think because they cannot put themselves in other people's shoes, they ask these questions "innocently" anyway .
@rebelann (99776)
• El Paso, Texas
4 Aug
Boy am I glad my friends don't ask me stuff like that, if they did I'd have to change the subject. Is it possible they simply want to vent?
1 person likes this
@much2say (55982)
• Los Angeles, California
5 Aug
Well, they wanted information - none of which I had for them. The one wanting the school info - that was understandable - but I don't think she heard me exactly that I really didn't have an answer. The dog friend was weird because she bugged me for 3 days to schedule a call with me so she could ask me advice - and it turned out to be about the dog poisoning - she is so bizarre sometimes.
1 person likes this
@rebelann (99776)
• El Paso, Texas
5 Aug
Tell the lady with the dog poisoning issue to call Animal control AND the police, it's possible what's happening to her is illegal.
1 person likes this
@much2say (55982)
• Los Angeles, California
5 Aug
@rebelann See - already you know more about this than me . So the house behind them was robbed. Remember our yards out here are smaller and closed in. The robbers threw a meat bait with poison in the yard to quiet the dog I guess while they robbed the place. The dog is deathly ill now. So my friend was freaking out that what if the meat bait landed in their yard. The dog is indoors but she is let out to pee - and is fast. I told her that maybe she should go outside and inspect the yard before letting her dog out . . . or take a leash and go with her. But as far as anyone throwing anything into their yard (robber, neighbor, anyone) - I don't know what can be done unless you put full netting over the entire yard which would be insane.
1 person likes this
@cacay1 (73271)
• Cagayan De Oro, Philippines
4 Aug
, I should rather say sorry I don't know. I'm wondering about the person who asked you more when you already said you don't know. It's annoying.
1 person likes this
@much2say (55982)
• Los Angeles, California
4 Aug
I know, I know (that, I know ) - it IS annoying. Sometimes I am thinking they must not be listening .
1 person likes this
@cacay1 (73271)
• Cagayan De Oro, Philippines
4 Aug
@much2say, the mind of the listener was wondering,thinking of her own thinking just to have something to annoy you
1 person likes this
@cacay1 (73271)
• Cagayan De Oro, Philippines
5 Aug
@much2say yes, hard just hang the phone and let her talk next time just answer sudden blackout
1 person likes this
@Hannihar (122858)
• Israel
4 Aug
@much2say If I do not know the answer to a question and cannot find a link for them to give them the information then I will just simply tell them I do not know the answer. Maybe they just like to ask you questions thinking you know the answers. The dog question if the friend did not know the answer could ask a vet and the child question they could check online and listen to you when you tell them you do not know the answers.
1 person likes this
@much2say (55982)
• Los Angeles, California
4 Aug
One would think that would be the logical thing to do. I guess some people like to have the opinions of friends instead of looking into these matter themselves . . . but even so the information may be incorrect. Right - there are definitely other reliable sources they could turn to (even the internet) so there was no sense bothering me about it - unless they just wanted to talk - some people are like that
1 person likes this
@Hannihar (122858)
• Israel
5 Aug
@much2say Did they give you a hint that they just wanted to talk or just have their questions answered? Have you helped them in the past that they turned to you again is why they did not look it up themselves?
1 person likes this
@much2say (55982)
• Los Angeles, California
5 Aug
@Hannihar Well, they always want to talk . But I've helped them in the past for sure, but on other things I knew about. The school question was understandable, but there really was no sense in asking me the dog question. Weird.
1 person likes this
@Daljinder (23187)
• Bangalore, India
4 Aug
In my opinion, sometimes people ask about things just to have someone to talk to. Or, maybe they want to confirm or want an assurance that what they have decided (prior to asking you) is the right thing to do.
1 person likes this
@much2say (55982)
• Los Angeles, California
5 Aug
That may be it. There are times when I actually did the research to help with other questions . . . only to find that they had asked someone else and got their answer (they didn't bother to tell me!!). I confirm nothing on this one .
1 person likes this
@Daljinder (23187)
• Bangalore, India
8 Aug
@much2say On a positive note, you got to learn something new.
1 person likes this
@much2say (55982)
• Los Angeles, California
19h
@Daljinder Well that is true isn't it. You're right - I did learn something new - information I will most likely never need .
1 person likes this
@JudyEv (282631)
• Rockingham, Australia
4 Aug
Sometimes I start to mumble something then realize I don't really have an answer so then I say 'I don't know'. I think most of us want to help people if we can but it can be difficult.
1 person likes this
@much2say (55982)
• Los Angeles, California
4 Aug
When we don't know, then we don't know - sometimes there's just really not much more to discuss after that. But oh my friends went on and on to give a further explanation . . . that got me no closer to having any answers for them .
2 people like this
@sjvg1976 (34949)
• Delhi, India
4 Aug
@much2say you should have told your friend to stop discussing it further.
2 people like this
@much2say (55982)
• Los Angeles, California
4 Aug
@sjvg1976 Maybe so. It can be annoying, but I don't tell people to stop yapping about whatever they're yapping about .
1 person likes this
@GardenGerty (146285)
• United States
4 Aug
Maybe this person just needs to "hear themself think" by texting you. If I do not have any plausible answers either I get silent, or I start turning their questions back on them.
1 person likes this
@much2say (55982)
• Los Angeles, California
4 Aug
That's possible. Or maybe they are not thinking about what exactly they're asking me . I try to direct them towards asking someone else, but they keep asking .
1 person likes this
@GardenGerty (146285)
• United States
4 Aug
@much2say I have used the aggressive reverse questioning on a mentally ill client at one job. But you might say "Jane, what are you asking me? I have not had a kid in school in x number of years.?" The whole education scene has changed. You need to be very blunt, I guess. The dog questioner, I would say "Are you expecting home invaders? Or I would ask if she is doing research for a novel or something. I am NOT a dog person and I would just tell her to train her dog not to accept treats from strangers. I always liked the Ann Landers response for rude questions, but it would work here as well. . . "Now why on earth would you ask ME a question like that?" Make them explain themselves and think about why they are asking. It is very annoying especially if you do not know their reasons.
1 person likes this
@much2say (55982)
• Los Angeles, California
5 Aug
@GardenGerty Aggressive reverse questioning . . . hmmmm, I need to get better in doing that! Those are interesting approaches - but yah, it would make them think about what they're asking.
@RubyHawk (66602)
• Atlanta, Georgia
5 Aug
I say I don’t know and I move on.
1 person likes this
@much2say (55982)
• Los Angeles, California
5 Aug
I said it a few times to them, but it just went over their heads .
1 person likes this
@RubyHawk (66602)
• Atlanta, Georgia
5 Aug
@much2say Sometimes It’s hard to get away without seeming rude
1 person likes this
• China
4 Aug
They thought of you as a walking encyclopedia. If I were you,I would call a spade a spade and tell them I know nothing about it.
1 person likes this
@much2say (55982)
• Los Angeles, California
5 Aug
Maybe . I did tell them I knew nothing about it several times, but I guess it fell on deaf ears. I like to help but really this was out of my expertise.
1 person likes this
• China
5 Aug
@much2say But then,it proves that you are helpful on ordinary times.
1 person likes this
@Deepizzaguy (69247)
• Lake Charles, Louisiana
3 Aug
I usually tell the person who asks me for advice on an issue that is not in my area of knowledge that I cannot answer the question and move on from there.
1 person likes this
@much2say (55982)
• Los Angeles, California
4 Aug
I do try to tell them straight away that I do not know . . . maybe they just aren't listening? Or maybe it is wishful thinking on their part that I would come up with an answer .
1 person likes this
@Deepizzaguy (69247)
• Lake Charles, Louisiana
4 Aug
@much2say Most likely the second one since some people think that you are a person who knows the answer to everything under the sun.
1 person likes this
@thelme55 (75704)
• Germany
19h
I would say I don’t know and maybe she or he can check it online for the answers.
1 person likes this
@much2say (55982)
• Los Angeles, California
14h
I wish they would check it for themselves in the first place . . . sometimes I think they just don't want to do it .