Post Halloween Fentanyl Blues (MyLot Exclusive #1139)
By Greg
@xander6464 (40875)
Wapello, Iowa
November 2, 2022 9:40am CST
Over the last 48 hours or so, I have consumed approximately 111,113,190 Fun Size Snickers Bars. Along with an equal number of Twix, Milky Way and Peanut Butter Cups. And many others.
Because my friends at FOX News have assured me that they all contain appreciable amounts of that room-temperature concoction that helps me hang on, Fentanyl.
I don't want to jump to any conclusions but I'm starting to think my FOX Friends were a little less than honest with me. Because I am getting no perceptible Opioid Effects from the aforementioned confectionaries.
But that's merely Anecdotal Evidence. I'm not going to make an Official Ruling until Pipette Aliquot, my favorite Upstairs Head Lab Technician and Chief Executive Vice President In Charge Of SOB (Shortness Of Breath) Affairs, finishes running tests on the samples I gave her.
She said, "Sir, why are you wasting my time? I can tell you right now, there are no drugs in this candy, Sir."
I said, "That's what the Woke Liberal Mob wants you to think, babe. They want you, you know. Do you realize how lucky you are that I'm in their way? Now be a good little girl and go do your job."
We'll see what happens.
8 people like this
5 responses
@FourWalls (62131)
• United States
2 Nov 22
That stuff is expensive, so they aren’t giving it to kids. Why waste it on kids, anyway????
4 people like this
@xander6464 (40875)
• Wapello, Iowa
16 Nov 22
@TheHorse I could use some tonight, as it's 9 PM and I am still drinking coffee.
------------You're a rebel. I know lots of people who won't drink coffee after 1 PM. They say it keeps them awake and I say, "Isn't that the goal? Why else would you drink coffee?"
2 people like this
@Dreamerby (3049)
• Calcutta, India
2 Nov 22
You need to work out. SO much calories!!
2 people like this
@vandana7 (98827)
• India
17 Nov 22
@Dreamerby He is there watching beauties do exercises..LOL
2 people like this
@xander6464 (40875)
• Wapello, Iowa
2 Nov 22
That's why I spend so much time in the gym.
2 people like this
@LadyDuck (458091)
• Switzerland
3 Nov 22
@xander6464 They seems to love to spread fake news and to be there only for stupid declarations.
2 people like this
@xander6464 (40875)
• Wapello, Iowa
2 Nov 22
Everyone knows that and yet FOX was still able to make lots of people scared.
3 people like this
@TheHorse (205753)
• Walnut Creek, California
16 Nov 22
@xander6464 Did they really say that? I missed it (and I wasn't even stoned).
1 person likes this
@DaddyEvil (137145)
• United States
2 Nov 22
I still have a few of those from several years ago if you really want them.... the candy, not the fentanyl... I hope the sugar high is worth it.
1 person likes this
@xander6464 (40875)
• Wapello, Iowa
2 Nov 22
I never get a Sugar High. I think it's just another Hoax. Just like Covid.
1 person likes this
@xander6464 (40875)
• Wapello, Iowa
3 Nov 22
@DaddyEvil I'll take it! Send it in an unmarked plain brown envelope. Because my friends at the DEA are really nosy and it's none of their business.
1 person likes this
@xander6464 (40875)
• Wapello, Iowa
2 Nov 22
It is really quite amazing. They are very good at propaganda.
2 people like this
