Jay and I Had a Wonderful, Indepth Talk Today

@kobesbuddy (160443)
East Tawas, Michigan
November 29, 2022 1:27pm CST
There were personal things that Jay and I really needed to talk about. Those issues were from the past, misconceptions and we both needed full enlightenment. As the conversation was going on, my husband listened intently to things that he'd not been aware of before. And I did the exact same thing, hearing unaltered truth coming straight out of his heart. It took maybe two hours to finish this discussion. When it was all over, we both felt like ten tons of bricks had been lifted off our shoulders. We knew the complete truth about matters that happened. Jay spoke honestly about things, that previously caused me to doubt that he cared about me. Kharla told her husband everything that had happened, to clear the air that we breathe in the same home. We have been married for over thirty-two years. Yet, there were shadows hanging over our marriage relationship, that needed to be brought into the light. I'm so glad they are gone! As of November 29, 2022(today) our life together has changed. For the better? YES! There are no more hidden secrets, swept beneath a throw rug. I look forward to the future that lies ahead, as "Mr. & Mrs. Marvin Clay Jolly." Photo:taken by Zachary
19 people like this
20 responses
@RubyHawk (82465)
• Atlanta, Georgia
30 Nov
Congratulations to you and your husband for ironing your relationship out.
3 people like this
@kobesbuddy (160443)
• East Tawas, Michigan
30 Nov
@RubyHawk A couple can live together, without totally being honest.
1 person likes this
@kobesbuddy (160443)
• East Tawas, Michigan
30 Nov
Most people argue and fight, when things aren't as they should be. With us it was different, we built as wall to hide the truth.
3 people like this
@RubyHawk (82465)
• Atlanta, Georgia
30 Nov
@kobesbuddy anything can happen in a marriage. Good luck to the two of you.
2 people like this
@LindaOHio (115172)
• United States
29 Nov
Such a positive experience. I wish my husband could participate like that. He refuses to get into deep conversations.
3 people like this
@kobesbuddy (160443)
• East Tawas, Michigan
29 Nov
Jay is that way, usually. He's a very private person who wants to keep everything a secret. Myself, I'm an introvert, who often doesn't realize that internalizing painful memories causes serious problems!
3 people like this
@LindaOHio (115172)
• United States
29 Nov
@kobesbuddy I'm the opposite; but a lot of times I have to suck it in because he "doesn't want to hear it".
2 people like this
@kobesbuddy (160443)
• East Tawas, Michigan
30 Nov
@LindaOHio This was so necessary in our relationship. I knew something was wrong and now, it's all taken care of:)
2 people like this
@shaggin (64986)
• United States
30 Nov
I’m glad that the secrets aren’t hidden anymore and you can both move forward together. That is a long marriage
2 people like this
@shaggin (64986)
• United States
30 Nov
@kobesbuddy my parents are still together and have never gotten along. They should have divorced when we were kids I think. My mother got pregnant so they got married and then the baby was just a mole that needed to be taken out via a D&C.
@kobesbuddy (160443)
• East Tawas, Michigan
30 Nov
My parents were married almost seventy years and neither one was happy.
1 person likes this
@allknowing (111090)
• India
30 Nov
That's a good thing you did - all doubts cleared paving the way for a wonderful future.
3 people like this
@allknowing (111090)
• India
30 Nov
@kobesbuddy We did not have much to hide (lol)
2 people like this
@kobesbuddy (160443)
• East Tawas, Michigan
30 Nov
If we aren't honest and open with our spouse, the relationship is damaged.
3 people like this
@kobesbuddy (160443)
• East Tawas, Michigan
30 Nov
@allknowing And we had things hidden from our spouse.
1 person likes this
@RasmaSandra (61547)
• Daytona Beach, Florida
30 Nov
I am very happy for you and that is a wonderful feeling I know. What has always bothered me is that I never got to say anything to my husband when he passed and when we left him at the hospital he did not even look at me or kiss me and I felt it was because it was too difficult for him because he knew he was not coming back so you are lucky that while you are together you can clear the air and be happy in your relationship,
2 people like this
@RasmaSandra (61547)
• Daytona Beach, Florida
30 Nov
2 people like this
@JudyEv (300898)
• Rockingham, Australia
30 Nov
That's wonderful that you were able to share these things and clear the air between you. Your good relationship will now be even better and stronger.
3 people like this
@kobesbuddy (160443)
• East Tawas, Michigan
30 Nov
I feel so much better, knowing that from today forward our bond is permanent.
3 people like this
@Tina30219 (80576)
• Onaway, Michigan
29 Nov
Glad you feel better after your discussion.
2 people like this
@kobesbuddy (160443)
• East Tawas, Michigan
29 Nov
Now that everything is out in the open, we refuse to keep any secrets.
1 person likes this
@LeaPea2417 (35646)
• Toccoa, Georgia
29 Nov
That's wonderful
2 people like this
@kobesbuddy (160443)
• East Tawas, Michigan
29 Nov
We live together, yet overlooked some issues that really matter.
2 people like this
@Deepizzaguy (77744)
• Lake Charles, Louisiana
29 Nov
it really feels good to have a heart to heart talk with a loved one to clear any bad air that is bothering you and your husband.
2 people like this
@kobesbuddy (160443)
• East Tawas, Michigan
29 Nov
We had actually built a wall, to keep ourselves protected.
2 people like this
@NJChicaa (110944)
• United States
29 Nov
I'm so happy for you both.
2 people like this
@kobesbuddy (160443)
• East Tawas, Michigan
29 Nov
I had no idea that these issues had created a wall. When everything was out in the open, that wall came down.
2 people like this
@aninditasen (12599)
• Raurkela, India
30 Nov
That was a lovely day for both of you. Is 29th November your wedding anniversary.
1 person likes this
@kobesbuddy (160443)
• East Tawas, Michigan
30 Nov
No, it's the day that we made amends.We no longer keep secrets, one from the other.
1 person likes this
@aninditasen (12599)
• Raurkela, India
1 Dec
@kobesbuddy Me and my husband never kept any secrets from each other and lived together for 34years.
@spiderdust (13823)
• San Jose, California
30 Nov
Relationships often need this kind of work, especially the good ones. I'm glad you guys were able to talk through things.
2 people like this
@kobesbuddy (160443)
• East Tawas, Michigan
30 Nov
Now that I know the truth, nothing else matters. Our marriage will benefit greatly, from today forward.
2 people like this
@dya80dya (27853)
29 Nov
I am glad for you.
2 people like this
@kobesbuddy (160443)
• East Tawas, Michigan
29 Nov
Being reconciled to your spouse is important, when vital issues have been ignored.
1 person likes this
@CarolDM (201911)
• United States
29 Nov
Always nice to keep communication open in any relationship. Happy for you both.
2 people like this
@kobesbuddy (160443)
• East Tawas, Michigan
29 Nov
It feels so much better, now that we vented out and didn't judge one another.
2 people like this
@GardenGerty (149153)
• United States
30 Nov
I think those discussions need to be had on a regular basis. I am glad for you.
1 person likes this
@kobesbuddy (160443)
• East Tawas, Michigan
30 Nov
And you are right, Heather. If a marriage relationship doesn't have honest, open communication the fire will go out.
@snowy22315 (149397)
• United States
30 Nov
Very glad you were able to clear the air and set things straight. I have no doubt that Jay cares for you very much.
1 person likes this
@kobesbuddy (160443)
• East Tawas, Michigan
30 Nov
We were both raised in hideous, controlling environments by two dictators. It's hard work, snowy.
1 person likes this
@Tampa_girl7 (50148)
• United States
30 Nov
I’m happy for you.
1 person likes this
@kobesbuddy (160443)
• East Tawas, Michigan
30 Nov
Thanks Marie, honesty is required or a marriage won't work.
@Shiva49 (25558)
• Singapore
30 Nov
That is not easy as we tend to sweep the hurts and misunderstandings under the carpet, so to say. Happy that you both are feeling much better now.
1 person likes this
@kobesbuddy (160443)
• East Tawas, Michigan
30 Nov
If we do things and then don't apologize, a wall gets built up.
1 person likes this
• Indonesia
30 Nov
The ability and expertise to speak frankly and openly is an advantage. Many people do not have this ability. And may you get along well always.
1 person likes this
@kobesbuddy (160443)
• East Tawas, Michigan
30 Nov
We don't get along well, that needs to be our goal.
1 person likes this
• Indonesia
30 Nov
@kobesbuddy Yeah, that's absolutely right
@NanaMc (667)
4 Dec
That's amazing! I'm glad you and Jay had your discussion. I do this with my husband about every 6 month. I like to be sure the communication between us stays open. He's kinda a closed book and I have to almost pull his fingernails out just to get him to open up. Good luck and many more years of happiness to Mr & Mrs Marvin Clay Jolly!
1 person likes this
@kobesbuddy (160443)
• East Tawas, Michigan
4 Dec
Jay is a closed book also. He won't tell me what's going on, or what's bothering him. His job stress was phenomenal! Now, he's retired and doing so much better:)