Does familiarity always breed contempt?
@1creekgirl (44560)
United States
January 30, 2024 8:51pm CST
I was thinking about this on my hour long drive home today from my Oncologist's office.
Have you noticed that sometimes we treat strangers with better manners than we do our mates?
I know most of us like to get comfy when we're at home. I like to dress up to go to church, but I change clothes the minute we walk in the door.
But why is it we're often more polite with a complete stranger than the person we love more than life itself?
Sometimes a "please" or "That was really sweet of you" can go a long ways with our mate.
I know living with the same person for many years...57 for us!... can try our patience and consideration. But why should I have more thoughtfulness with an acquaintance than the person who loves me?
This familiarity and contempt also slides over into other areas.
So many people have lost respect for our houses of worship. I don't mean everyone has to dress up like they're going to a formal ball, but I feel that flip flops and ragged jeans aren't appropriate for God's house.
Good grief, people here don't even dress up a little for Christmas parties!
We've become a nation of slobs.
I don't believe that living with someone always results in contempt. But I understand what that phrase means. I guess it's human nature sometimes.
I'm going to make an effort to show my appreciation, love, and yes, even good manners! to those who truly love me.
12 people like this
11 responses
@Juliaacv (56195)
• Canada
31 Jan 24
I like to dress up to go out, regardless if it is church or over to visit our son.
On the weekends I always dress nicer than I do for work days because I spend it with my hubby and I want to look nice for him.
Manners and politeness abide here, we were raised that way and continue to help our son raising his girls with manners. He counts on us for that.
Different things are of higher priority to different people, different generations and different cultures.
I feel like I am old fashioned in my thinking, dressing and actions, but I also feel that there is nothing wrong with this.
3 people like this
@1creekgirl (44560)
• United States
31 Jan 24
I think you are absolutely right. I don't dress up at home, but I try to look my best in casual clothes. The worst part right now is my hair after chemo. It's growing back, but looks so awful! My wig looks good for going anywhere, but not comfy enough to wear all the time at home.
Dale doesn't mind, but I'll sure be glad when I can style it.
2 people like this
@1creekgirl (44560)
• United States
1 Feb 24
@JudyEv You're right, we should never take our loved ones for granted.
1 person likes this
@snowy22315 (208746)
• United States
31 Jan 24
Yes, I know what you mean. Nice dress along with decorum seems to have gone out the window. Anyway, you are right..we are generally nicer to stranger than those we know well and who care for us.
1 person likes this
@snowy22315 (208746)
• United States
1 Feb 24
@1creekgirl I guess we notice others more than our own..which are like old shoes to us..we should cherish our "old shoes" though. They give us support and are comfortable and long lasting.
1 person likes this
@1creekgirl (44560)
• United States
1 Feb 24
Isn't it strange? I wonder why we do that?
1 person likes this
@1creekgirl (44560)
• United States
1 Feb 24
@snowy22315 That was a lovely way to say it. Thanks!
1 person likes this
@kaylachan (84703)
• Daytona Beach, Florida
31 Jan 24
I am not sure if contempt is the right word. I'd say comfort is a more suitable description. When we're around strangers, we tend to naturally gravitate to showing the best version of ourselves. But, with those we've become more familiar, we feel content and don't feel the need to hide the more unpleasant side of ourselves.
2 people like this
@LadyDuck (502148)
• Italy
31 Jan 24
And you are right, I often ask to people who get inside a Church as they were in a fish market if they should dress like that if they had to meet a Royal... of course NOT. So why do they believe it is correct to dress like that to go to church?
1 person likes this
@1creekgirl (44560)
• United States
1 Feb 24
People have lost the reverence they used to have for church.
1 person likes this
@LadyDuck (502148)
• Italy
2 Feb 24
@1creekgirl People have also lost good manners and respect for everyone and everything.
1 person likes this
@1creekgirl (44560)
• United States
2 Feb 24
@LadyDuck We see that all over the world, don't we.
1 person likes this
@LindaOHio (222222)
• United States
31 Jan 24
You're right about people being more polite with strangers than we are with those close to us. I always try to say please and thank you to my husband; but I do find myself losing patience with him quite often. Shame on me! I will work on that. Have a good day.
1 person likes this
@1creekgirl (44560)
• United States
1 Feb 24
Marriage can try our patience, that's for sure!
1 person likes this
@LindaOHio (222222)
• United States
2 Feb 24
@1creekgirl Especially when the partner has grown old and cranky!!! lololol
1 person likes this
@RebeccasFarm (91299)
• United States
31 Jan 24
I wouldnt know the answer to that Vickie..the people I have had relations with were not a good choice, so they deserved any attitude from me. Still no worries for me now about mates or what they think. I give as good as I get and love my family thats it.
1 person likes this
@RebeccasFarm (91299)
• United States
1 Feb 24
@1creekgirl That is my Mother RIP Vicki.
1 person likes this
@1creekgirl (44560)
• United States
1 Feb 24
Is that your mom? She was beautiful. Did you get her pretty red hair? Oshy, I think you sell yourself short. You're more special than you realize.
1 person likes this
@Kandae11 (57233)
•
1 Feb 24
When l was 19 I was dating a guy whose actions really shocked me. He did not give me a birthday gift but when my sister's birthday came around he got a gift for her. When l asked him for an explanation his answer was " l already know you". That was it for me and him .
1 person likes this
@porwest (112717)
• United States
31 Jan 24
This goes right along with the old saying, "The more I get to know you, the less I like you." I think it is just human nature, for whatever that's worth.
It reminds me of Cyndi Lauper once when she was on Celebrity Apprentice. She got into it with one of the other contestants who said, "Gosh, you were always my idol growing up," as she was unhappy with her interactions with her.
Cyndi Lauper told her, "If you want your idols to remain idols, never meet them in person."
She had a point.
1 person likes this
@1creekgirl (44560)
• United States
1 Feb 24
That's true. Actual interaction with someone will eventually show you they're human just like you. And that's what happens in a marriage. That's why we vow to be there in "sickness and health and for better or worse."
1 person likes this
@porwest (112717)
• United States
3 Feb 24
@1creekgirl Yep. Just human nature. For whatever it's worth.
1 person likes this
