He's in the Trunk

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Sometimes you are just reminded, for whatever reason, of a story you were told once that just really struck your funny bone. Take my Aunt Chris after my Uncle Bruce died suddenly of a heart attack walking out to his front porch for the morning paper. This was years ago when people actually still read the newspaper. She heard him walking to the door, and then heard an ugh and a loud thud, and that was it. Uncle Bruce was no more, and as per his wish, she had him cremated only to carry out his final wish later on. "I want my ashes dumped in the Gulf," he had once told her. So, off Aunt Chris went one day with a friend of hers, having placed Bruce's urn in the trunk of the car, to the beach to carry out the task, when she got distracted and wound up being a little heavy on the pedal. She was instantly brought back to her attentions at the sound of a "woop-woop" behind her and the appearance of blue and red lights in her rearview mirror. The cop came beside her, and she rolled her window down obligingly and he informed her she was driving 46 in a 35. "Any particular reason you're in such a hurry today, ma'am," he asked. "I'm taking my husband to the beach," she said with an apologetic smile. The cop looked inside the car and only saw my Aunt Chris' friend nestled in the passenger seat, glanced in the back and saw no one else there. "Your husband?" the cop queried, perplexed. "Where exactly is your husband?" "Oh, he's in the trunk," she said, immediately aware how awkward this made things. The cop stepped back, hand on his firearm, and instructed her to keep her hands where he could see them and step out of the vehicle slowly. She tried to explain, but the cop was having none of it. "Step out!" he screamed, just short of actually pulling his gun out. When she got out, he then instructed the passenger to do the same and then told my Aunt Chris to hand him her keys while they waited alongside the car for him to further assess the situation. At that time, he did draw his weapon and slowly and carefully opened the trunk, only to find Uncle Bruce in his urn inside. He burst out laughing, showing signs of tension and relief all at once. "Why didn't you just tell me?" the cop asked. Aunt Chris and her friend both broke into hysterics and said, "We were trying to." Aunt Chris was sent on her way without a ticket, and the cop went on his way with probably one of the funniest stories he may ever get to tell about his days out on patrol. I am sure that, from somewhere in the far beyond, Uncle Bruce was also having quite a laugh of his own, if we only ever knew.