Does anybody have any good BLONDE JOKES??

United States
December 14, 2006 9:22pm CST
I am a natural blonde and am constantly told blonde jokes but it seems like they are all the same, anybody have any new blonde jokes for me?? Thanks for reading
1 person likes this
15 responses
@ricky1209 (1677)
• India
26 Dec 06
1) Businessman explaining the reason for having 2 wives "Monopoly is always damaging & Competition improves service". 2) What is d similarity btwin Priyanka Gandhi & Fiat Uno ? Do u know? both are made by indians with italian support.
1 person likes this
@baysmummy (1638)
• Australia
26 Dec 06
Heres a couple i have heard of my time being a blonde lol! A blonde goes into a nearby store and asks a clerk if she can buy the TV in the corner. The clerk looks at her and says that he doesn't serve blondes, so she goes back home and dyes her hair black. The next day she returns to the store and asks the same thing, and again, the clerk said he doesn't serve blondes. Frustrated, the blonde goes home and dyes her hair yet again, to a shade of red. Sure that a clerk would sell her the TV this time, she returns and asks a different clerk this time. To her astonishment, this clerk also says that she doesn't serve blondes. The blonde asks the clerk, "How in the world do you know I am a blonde?" The clerk looks at her disgustedly and says,"That's not a TV -- it's a microwave!" A blind guy on a bar stool shouts to the bartender, "Wanna hear a blonde joke?" In a hushed voice, the guy next to him says, "Before you tell that joke, you should know something." Our bartender IS blonde, the bouncer is blonde. I'm a 6' tall, 200 lb black belt. The guy sitting next to me is 6'2", weighs 225, and he's a rugby player. The fella to your right is 6'5" pushing 300 and he's a wrestler. Each one of US is blonde. Think about it, Mister. Do you still wanna tell that joke?" The blind guy says, "Nah, not if I'm gonna have to explain it five times." One day, while a blonde was out driving her car, she ran into a truck. The truck's driver made her pull over into a parking lot and get out of the car. He took a piece of chalk and drew a circle on the pavement. He told her to stand in the middle and not leave the circle. Furious, he went over to her car and slashed the tires. The blonde started laughing. This made the man angrier so he smashed her windshield. This time the blonde laughed even harder. Livid, the man broke all her windows and keyed her car. The blonde is now laughing hysterically, so the truck driver asks her what's so funny. The blonde giggles and replies, "When you weren't looking, I stepped out of the circle three times!"
1 person likes this
@neeraj07 (577)
• India
15 Dec 06
I know only one. Here it goes. Q. What did Blonde girl's right leg asked the left leg ? A. Nothing, They never met. Have a great time. Cheers!
1 person likes this
@shoelover (896)
• Australia
15 Dec 06
A lady had just come out of the hairdressers feeling great about her new look. She decided since it was such a glorious day she would take a drive out in the country. On a back country road she had to stop as there were sheep on the road. She hopped out of her car and approached the farmer. If I can guess how many sheep are in your flock may I have one sheep of my choice. The farmer looked a bit dubious but agreed. The lady looked over the sheep and said there are 73 sheep in your flock. The farmer was surprised but as good as his word. Ok now you can choose a sheep. The lady chose a sheep and put it in the back of her car. The farmer said, "Before you go if I guess the correct colour of your hair may I have the sheep back?" The lady agreed. The farmer looked at the lady and said "Ok, you are a natural blonde". The lady was shocked "How did you guess" the farmer said "It was easy, now may I have my dog back"
1 person likes this
@nana1944 (1367)
• United States
15 Dec 06
A friend of mine asked his daughter who was blonde that there was only one blonde joke. She said, "Really". He said "Yes the rest of them are true".
@marciascott (25553)
• United States
15 Dec 06
I went out to one of my favorite place. My hair is black sometimes I wear different color wigs i have a blonde wig that I wear, when I want to be different. so I go over to the teller, her hair is blonde too. she looks and me and says Oh look at you. I tell her well, they say blondes have more fun, she goes your Dam right! Lol. I thought she was so funny!
1 person likes this
@dedeeaf (115)
• Romania
27 Dec 06
Q: what are 1000 blondes doing on the bottom of the Atlantic Ocean? A: they are looking for Leonardo DiCaprio. (you know... Titanic...)
@ricky1209 (1677)
• India
27 Dec 06
I Like Your Thinking A teacher asks her class, ''If there are 5 birds sitting on a fence and you shoot one of them, how many will be left?'' She calls on little Johnny. ''None, they all fly away with the first gunshot.'' The teacher replies, ''The correct answer is 4, but I like your thinking.'' Then Little Johnny says, ''I have a question for YOU. There are three women sitting on a bench having ice cream. One is delicately licking the sides of the triple scoop of ice cream. The second is gobbling down the top and sucking the cone. The third is biting off the top of the ice cream. Which one is married?'' The teacher, blushing a great deal, replies, ''Well I suppose the one that's gobbled down the top and sucked the cone.'' ''The correct answer is the one with the wedding ring on...but I like your thinking.''
@dolphix (60)
• Romania
27 Dec 06
A blind man walks into a bar, makes his way to a bar stool and orders a drink. After sitting there for a while, he yells to the bartender. "Hey, You wanna hear a blonde joke?"The bar immediately falls absolutely quiet. In a very deep, husky voice, the woman next to him says, "Before you tell that joke, sir, I think it is only fair that you should know five things. Number One. The bartender is a blonde girl with a baseball bat. Number Two. The bouncer is a blonde girl. Number Three. I'm a six-foot-tall, 175 lb. Blonde woman with a black belt in karate. Number Four. The woman sitting next to me is blonde and a professional weightlifter. Number Five. The lady to your right is blonde and a professional wrestler. She concludes by smugly asking, "Now think about it seriously, mister. Do you still wanna tell that joke?"The blind man thinks for a second, shakes his head and mutters, "Nah, not if I'm gonna have to explain it five fuc.k.ing times."
@dolphix (60)
• Romania
27 Dec 06
A blonde calls Delta Airlines and asks, "Can you tell me how long it'll take to fly from San Francisco to New York City?" The agent replies, "Just a minute..." "Thank you," the blonde says, and hangs up.
@dolphix (60)
• Romania
27 Dec 06
A blonde is speaking to her psychiatrist. "I'm on the road a lot, and my clients are complaining that they can never reach me." Psychiatrist: "Don't you have a phone in your car?" Blonde: "That was a little too expensive, so I did the next best thing. I put a mailbox in my car." Psychiatrist: "Uh ... How's that working?" Blonde: "Actually, I haven't gotten any letters yet." Psychiatrist: "And why do you think that is?" Blonde: "I figure it's because when I'm driving around, my zip code keeps changing."
@ricky1209 (1677)
• India
27 Dec 06
Bholaji was brought to court on charges of Drunken Driving. Just before the trial there was a commotion in the gallery. The judge pounded the gravel on his table and shouted,"Order,order." Bhola immediately responded, "Thank you , your honour, I'll have a scotch and soda." _________________
@finlander60 (1806)
• United States
15 Dec 06
Q) Why are blond jokes so short? A) So brunettes can remember them. Q) What do blonds and turtles have in common? A) Get them on their back, and they are helpless.
• Philippines
15 Dec 06
The blonde test taker A blonde reports for her university final exam which consists of mainly true and false questions. She takes her seat in the examination hall, stares at the question paper for five minutes, and then in a fit of inspiration takes her purse out, removes a coin and starts tossing the coin and marking the answer sheet: true for heads and false for tails. Within thirty minutes she is all done, whereas the rest of the class is still working furiously. During the last few minutes, she is seen desperately throwing the coin, swearing and sweating. The moderator, alarmed, approaches her and asks what is happening. "I finished the exam in a half hour," she replies. "Now I'm rechecking my answers."
@leese29 (341)
• United States
15 Dec 06
1.Why did the blonde die in a helicopter crash? She got cold and turned off the fan. 2.What is it called when a blonde blows in another blonde's ear? Data transfer. 3.What do you call 10 blondes standing ear to ear? A wind tunnel. 4.What happened to the blonde that was tap dancing? She fell in the sink. 5.How do you get a one-armed blonde out of a tree? Wave to her.