Jest A While

A farmer in the country has a watermelon patch and upon inspection he discovers that some of the local kids have been helping themselves to a feast. The farmer thinks of ways to discourage this profit-eating situation. So he puts up a sign that reads: "WARNING! ONE OF THESE WATERMELONS CONTAINS CYANIDE!" He smiled smugly as he watched the kids run off the next night without eating any of his melons. The farmer returns to the watermelon patch a week later to discover that none of the watermelons have been eaten, but finds another sign that reads: "NOW THERE ARE TWO!"

The South's gonna rise again!!!! Alabama A group of Alabama friends went deer hunting and paired off in twos for the day. That night, one of the hunters returned alone, staggering under the weight of an eight-point buck. "Where's Harry?" the others asked. "Harry had a stroke of some kind. He's a couple of miles back up the trail," the successful hunter replied. "You left Harry laying out there and carried the deer back?" they inquired. "A tough call," nodded the hunter. "But I figured no one is going to steal Harry!" Louisiana A senior at LSU was overheard saying... "When the end of the world comes, I hope to be in Louisiana." When asked why, he replied he'd rather be in Louisiana because everything happens in Louisiana 20 years later than in the rest of the civilized world. Mississippi The young man from Mississippi came running into the store and said to his buddy, "Jon, somebody just stole your pickup truck from the parking lot!" Jon replied, "Did you see who it was? "The young man answered, "I couldn't tell, but I got his license number." Georgia A Georgia State trooper pulled over a pickup on I-85. The trooper asked, "Got any ID?" The driver replied, "Bout whut?" North Carolina A man in North Carolina had a flat tire, pulled off on the side of the road, and proceeded to put a bouquet of flowers in front of the car and one behind it. Then he got back in the car to wait A passerby studied the scene as he drove by and was so curious he turned around and went back. He asked the fellow what the problem was. The man replied, "I have a flat tire." The passerby asked, "But what's with the flowers?" The man responded, "When you break down they tell you to put flares in the front and flares in the back. Hey, it don't make sense to me neither." And this from South Carolina "You can say what you want about the South, but I ain't never heeard of nobody retirin' to the North!"