Kids having their friends over ~ how much is too much?

United States
January 14, 2007 8:49am CST
My boys usually have 1 to 2 of their friends over at any one time on the weekends. Their friends may be at my house for 5-6 hours at a time, or even spend the night. Their friends would rather come over to our house then to have our boys over to their houses, and our boys feel the same way. Sometimes I'd like a day or whole weekend with no extra people over. But at the same time I like knowing just what my kids are doing, what they are eating, and how they are behaving. How do you deal with these situations? How do you feel about your pre-teen and early teen kids being out and about with unknown amounts of supervision?
8 responses
• United States
15 Jan 07
I think that parents should have a time out sometimes too in order to rest some. It's ok for the kids' friends to come over, but not every weekend. Set up maybe two weekends a month for yourself. Explain to the children you need rest.
• United States
16 Jan 07
Thanks for your thoughts!
@darckj (885)
• Philippines
15 Jan 07
i believe i am not in the position to give comment on this but i like to share this. i am twenty, and still a teenager at heart and in attitude. it is in our age [especially starting 12 or 13 years old] that we are developing socially. we may prefer going out with friends, going to church with them than staying at home and have our parents guard us,. it is the time when we start to believe we are old enough to manage our own lives, with no mama or papa around. some teens get embarassed when you call them "my baby" in front of their friends. teens usually want their parents to be just like their friends, i mean not "parents" in the very essence of the word. if ever, we prefer to be scolded or disciplined without our friends around.. just do the discipline sessions privately.. we hate being spyed by parents and so we want to go places away from home or try something new.. speaking about trying something new, this may include bad influences among us. this is the very time we need our parents to be there for us, whether we admit it or not.. teens tend to hide their feelings and emotions. they even keep secrets.. i've experienced it, and im glad im still "good boi me" after those experiences.. thanks to good friends and understanding parents! ^^
• United States
16 Jan 07
Thanks ~ yes those are some good ideas. It is sometimes hard to remember to have respect for their feelings too. I just have to try and remember how I was and how I wanted to be treated. Thanks!
• United States
4 Feb 07
i think it should be limited to weekends only my friends kids have atleast one friend over a day and thier kids have changed because of it. family time helps build good morals in children people should do it more often
• United States
4 Feb 07
I was a stay at home kid. I like being at home, with my things, my food, my phone, and most of all my parents. My parents minded their buisness, and let me hang out in my room. Now if they thought something bad was going on in there.. they would be in there. They would also come in and check on what we were doing. Sunday was always family day and get ready for the week day. We had to make sure we had all our dirty clothes ready for mom that morning. That we had all dishes out of our rooms, and that we had our beds stripped. In between Church, my mom cooking dinner, and washing clothes we would watch t.v. or talk, or sometimes play outside.. just me and my sister. My mom wasn't mean about having company.. she just didn't want them there all day or effecting what we were suppose to be doing. We always wound day earlier than most days.. with clothes set out and bags ready.. so that Monday morning was a little easier on everyone. Sometimes my mom would even have a breakfast and dinner idea ready for Monday. I do think that too many kids.. all the time.. is a little overwhelming. I think a vist here and there is okay.. but not all the time. I would go broke feeding them! Lol. I do understand wanting your kids at home. I'm sure I'll want mine at home as well. I can't expect them to be like me and like being home, but I will sure let them know I prefer them in my reach.
• United States
31 Jan 07
I have the same problem at my house. My daughters have friends that would rather be at my house instead of their own homes. I don't mind them being here, but sometimes they are here for a full weekend!! Just last weekend, 2 of my daughters friends wanted to spend the night, but my daughter was spending the night at her cheerleader's friends house to get ready for an early morning competition. I had to put my foot down then and I told her no, they can't spend the night without you here!! My daughter is so busy with cheerleading, she rarely has time to do anything else. Her older sister had too much free time, and I think that's what got her into some trouble when she was younger. I keep reminding myself that these days will pass soon, and I will miss the noise, mess and hectic pace that goes on when there's kids here!!
• United States
24 Jan 07
I would rather have my kids friends over to the house rather than them spending their time at somebody else house in the future. But I would just limit how many hours and what time it will start coz usually the weekends, it will be family day. It might not be every weekend but every other. We need to have quite moments at the house too.
@lisado (1230)
• United States
17 Jan 07
I can't blame you! I love my sons but sometimes a mom needs some "alone" time! That being said, maybe I'm overprotective, but I can't imagine my sons out without supervision until they're older. I think I was 15 before my parents let me go out (as far as going out to a place other than my friend's houses, and they're parents were there with us). Kids have a lot of dangers out there now, as far as preditors, gangs and so on. I wasn't allowed to actually date until I was 16, and then the boy had to come IN to pick me up so my parents could meet him. I couldn't stay over at a friend's house until my parents had met theirs. Even out with friends, my parents always wanted to know where I was going, who I would be with and when I would be home. If there were any changes I was to call and let them know. I know I resented it growing up, but looking back I know that it was for my own good and I know it kept me out of a lot of trouble. I find that now, having my own children, I have a lot of the same restrictions that they did. My sons may not like it when they grow up to an age where it's an issue, but I hope that, like me, they see that all I am trying to do is let them have fun, but protect them at the same time. :)
• India
15 Jan 07
ya this is a matter to be thought about.