Desperate Women

@cdparazo (5768)
Philippines
February 6, 2007 10:25am CST
A lot of women in my country are getting married with foreigners. They are usually young women with little education & usually from a poor family who marries men who are much older than them. Some people tend to snicker at them when seen with their fiancee who are two to three times older than them. People would immediately judge them marrying those men just for money or for better life. But i came to think that we could be wrong. Money could be one of the considerations in their decision to marry but i still believe and was able to observe that they wont marry those men whom they dont have an ounce of affection no matter how rich. We condemn and think little of them, but who are we to judge them? Who could really say its wrong when in turn they could make the lives of those men happier and much easier with their care? At least they have taken steps to reach thier dream of a better life and i think it wont hurt if marriage is their way of getting it. They are not hurting anybody and many of them really serve their husbands very loyally and takes very good care of them.
1 person likes this
5 responses
• Saint Vincent And The Grenadines
9 Jun 07
that happens a lot in many places. For example, many south american younger women marry older spanish males. It's a junction of interests...he wants company and be taken care of, she wants a good life and someone who is nice enough to be with her. Sometimes they fall in love , sometimes they have great affection only, but either way it's fine as long as both sides are adults and agree in doing it. Anyway i wouldn't talk about this as "desperate women"..they do it for a reason as well as men do it for a reason too....so both sides are equally happy or desperate or whatever.
2 people like this
@cdparazo (5768)
• Philippines
13 Jun 07
I called them desperate because they have no other way (they think) of improving their life except marry someone with money. They have little education & training so they can't get a decent or good paying jobs. Yeah, I agree with you, as long as they are happy in the end and is not hurting anybody.
@steney (1418)
• Philippines
13 Jun 07
When I see majority of these women flock the internet cafes to chat with their foreign boyfriends, some of them even with children in tow, I can't help but admire their will to give themselves a shot at a better life. Let's face it, they seek for love, comfort or a chance for a fairytale happy ending in a foreign land on the internet. But I'd rather see them there than on the streets peddling themselves to strangers. I would rather see them off marrying foreign men and having a chance to live a good life abroad.
1 person likes this
@cdparazo (5768)
• Philippines
13 Jun 07
I would rather see them married to a foreigner too than see them peddling their body to strangers. It may be one of the reasons why I no longer see some familiar faces of women loitering the streets of Junquerra at night. If one has a dream and goes out to make it a reality by marrying a foreigner, then go ahead. It would certainly help our economy if we will look at it in the bigger scale.
@steney (1418)
• Philippines
13 Jun 07
I totally agree. :)
1 person likes this
@butterfly39 (3907)
• Philippines
13 Jun 07
Yes, coz they're looking for a great opportunity. And that's the only way to help their families, and there's no big deal on that. Being honest is not a sin. And we don't have the right to judge them. It's their life, and we can't help them but to hope to acquire what they want.
1 person likes this
@cdparazo (5768)
• Philippines
13 Jun 07
To put it more crudely, we can't feed them and their families, so we better not judge them. I totally agree with you that it's not a sin. It's not a sin to want a better life. Thanks for responding!
@samson1967 (7422)
• India
9 Jun 07
There are so many poor families especially muslims who sell their young daughters to the rich and muslim men from arab countries. I think it is acceptable to them and even their religion and community permits such marriages. They regard it as their pride to their richness.
1 person likes this
@cdparazo (5768)
• Philippines
13 Jun 07
That kind of marriage won't really sit well with me since I totally ABHOR the idea of forcing someone to get married to someone. If one enters into a marriage, it should be will one's full mind and will even if not in heart. This kind of thinking of mine is due to my upbringing and culture.
@camar_lyn (1028)
• Singapore
14 Jun 07
In singapore, i've seen many couples as what you've described. However, i do not know if they are married to each other. I personally have no qualms because i believe that each person defines love in different ways. It might be that gentle touch or a soothing voice full of care. Love is vast and deep. If we look at other people and judge them, we should look in the mirror to see ourselves. Are we perfect? Are we the norm or blindly following what society deines as the norm? There are more things to life than be bothered about other people's happiness. Good topic! - Lyn