mouthy 4 yr old

It sounds like a real power struggle. She has found something she knows will bother you and put her in charge of the situation. Tell her there is a new rule in your house. "We don't say I hate you in this house." Then, the next time she says it, put your hand over your mouth like you are horrified and say, "Oh, no. You broke the new rule of our house. We don't say I hate you here. I'm so sorry. That means you have to apologize to everyone at the table tonight." Then, when everyone is gathered around for dinner, announce that Beth, or whatever her name is, has broken the new rule of the house and would like to apologize to the family. (Or choose another time if you prefer when the whole family will be together.) If you just let her say a quick "Sorry," to you, she won't remember it long, or mean it, but having to do it publicly leaves a longer lasting impression. Be sure to say "We don't say that in our house" not "I don't want you to say that." If you say "I," she will feel she is fighting the battle and winning against just you. If you say, "we", she will begin to realize she is setting herself at odds with everyone in the family when she breaks rules. Hope this is useful to you.

It isn't you. Lots of children go through stages of testing their oats and disrespect. It must be stopped, if possible, as soon as it starts. Each child reacts different to disciple too. So, you need to try and find out which is best for her. It may be a smack in the butt, time out in a corner, staying in a room for one hour, or ignoring it. If you don't stop it, it will be a nightmare when she is a teen. Good luck dear.

My five year old is the youngest of three children and has done this a fair bit. He seems to go through stages when he is worse then other times. I have even put liquid soap in his mouth (only a drop) when he used some 'naughty' words. It helped for a couple of days. Now I just have to threaten the soap and he stops. I would suggest doing time out just once or twice and she'll get the idea that you mean business. I know it's hard but it works and it's better than having a delinquent later on.

i make my 5 year old stand in the corner for 5 minutes and then he has to tell me that he is sorry and i explain to him that it hurts my feelings when he says mean things like that.

Hmmm it sounds like she is testing the boundaries and what you need to do is act on your threats. Say to her if firmly "if you do that again its 5 minutes time out, no arguements, then you have to carry it out" even if she says "I'm sorry Mummy/Mommy" you must be firm with her and say. "Yes I can see that your sorry but I have told you what would happen and now you will sit on the rug/ or go into that room for five minutes" This way she will quickly learn that bad behaviour will not be tolerated and although she apologised there are consequences for her bad behaviour and she must learn that Mummy/Mommy or Daddy will carry out those consequences if she misbehaves. Other wise the threat of time out is not really a punishment because your clever little 5 year old has worked out that she can be naughty and as long as she apologises its all okay again. Bright Blessings.

Here is my suggestion, don't threaten time out, just do it. Maybe she knows she can say it and get away with it because you are not actually "doing" anything about it, merely threatening to do something. Most children go through stages where they are mouthy but if we are consistent about the discipline, usually we can work it out. Good luck.

It is not really uncommon for kids that age to say that. Especially if they sense that it gets to you. Just tell her something to the effect of "That's okay, I know you do not like it when I tell you no, but I am the mommy and I am trying to keep you safe," Do not overreact, do not let her think it has any effect. Look at three things in these situations. First, what is going on right before, or when it happens. Second, what is the exact behavior, and third, what is the consequences or conclusion. Perhaps then you can see a pattern. Has this started since you took the extra job? Is there a way that you can give her poaitive attention before this behavior takes place? I would ignore the behavior, and not reinforce it, even with a negative response.

I go threw it with both a 6 y/o & 7 1/2 y/o they are both girls. I am so tired of the attitudes & I know it is only going to get worse. I did not have a problem until they started Kindergarten & interacting with all of the kids at school.

Don't accept her apology! She is just apologizing to get out of the punishment. She doesn't mean it. Explain to her that she hurt your feelings and you don't believe she is sorry and then give her the time out. If time out's don't work, then trying taking away a privilege for a while. She is definately testing and manipulating you and if she gets away with it she will be in charge of your house not you.

its not just you i have a 6 yr old that loved to say this and i can't stand to hear that so i started putting musterd on my finger and putting it in his mouth he can stand musturd it don't hurt him and so he made a deal with me if he don't say it then i don't put musturd in his mouth works for me and him