Ten Commandments for Stress Free Programming
By rahuldmhatre
@rahuldmhatre (736)
India
February 11, 2007 2:13pm CST
1.Thou shalt not worry about bugs.
Bugs in your software are actually special features.
2.Thou shalt not fix abort conditions.
Your user has a better chance of winning state lottery than getting the same abort again.
3.Thou shalt not handle errors.
Error handing was meant for error prone people, neither you or your users are error prone.
4.Thou shalt not restrict users.
Don't do any editing, let the user input anything, anywhere, anytime. That is being very user friendly.
5.Thou shalt not optimize.
Your users are very thankful to get the information, they don't worry about speed and efficiency.
6.Thou shalt not provide help.
If your users can not figure out themselves how to use your software than they are too dumb to deserve the benefits of your software anyway.
7.Thou shalt not document.
Documentation only comes in handy for making future modifications. You made the software perfect the first time, it will never need modifications.
8.Thou shalt not hurry.
Only the cute and the mighty should get the program by deadline.
9.Thou shalt not revise.
Your interpretation of specs was right, you know the users' requirements better than them.
10.Thou shalt not share.
If other programmers needed some of your code, they should have written it themselves.
3 responses
@destinycole (827)
•
11 Feb 07
lmao! was this a joke on all those hellish programmes I have bought or planned to buy but was too dumb to understand it would you be in any way talking about bloomin w i n d o w s???
@huanghaozi (1472)
• Egypt
15 Feb 07
Field Trip to the Racetrack
A group of third, fourth and fifth graders accompanied by two female teachers
went on a field trip to the local racetrack to learn about thoroughbred horses
and the supporting industry.
During the tour, some of the children needed to go to the toilet, so it was
decided that the girls would go with one teacher and the boys would go with the
other.
As the teacher assigned to the boys waited outside the men's toilet, one of
the boys came out and told her that he couldn't reach the urinal. Having no
choice, the teacher went inside and began hoisting the little boys up by their
armpits, one by one.
As she lifted one up in this manner, she couldn't help but notice that he was
unusually well-endowed for an elementary school child.
"I guess you must be in the fifth," she said.
"No ma'am," he replied, "I'm in the seventh, riding Silver Arrow. but thanks
for the lift anyhow."
@Jocelynk (130)
• Canada
11 Feb 07
haha, I don't know. Is there such thing as stress-free programming?
I think the first rule of programming is to understand and acknowledge that there is always more to learn and no matter how good you are, there is a 50% chance that what you just wrote could have been written better!
