making it through a deployment

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It is that time again for many of my friends and me. If it has not happened already, we will soon be standing in a field watching our loved one check bags, draw weapons, stand in formation and then board the bus that will take them to the plane they will catch back to Iraq. While all of this is going on, we, the spouses and other family members will be wiping away tears, watching every move our personal soldier makes, praying we get just one more kiss, just one more hug and just one more I love you before that bus disappears out of sight. We will whisper, please, don't be a hero, come home to me. We will stand there, barely moving until it pulls away, then we will follow it with our eyes, afraid to look away for even a brief second. We will be numb as we walk to our cars to make the drive back to our homes. The rest of that day will be spent in almost a state of denial, he/she can't really be gone, they are just at work and will be home soon. And then, more tears will fall. The next day, we start the long days of waiting, trying to be as normal as possible and keep as busy as we can. There will be good days, but there will be so many when even a small thing will cause a river of tears. We will jump everytime the phone rings and at times may hang up on a friend without saying goodbye because that phone call has come in and we can't miss it, to do so would mean we have to wait until they have another chance to call and it is so seldom that we hear from them that we decide to hang up on a friend now and explain later. We will swallow a lump in our throats everytime there is an unexpected knock on the door and our hearts will beat faster as we peek to see who is on the other side. No, we don't like those unexpected knocks, they make us nervous until we can answer and breathe a heavy sigh of relief when it is a neighbor or a friend. We seek each other out, because we need to talk to someone who knows what we are going through. And, we hope for a little bit of information that lets us know our soldier is ok. We breathe, we breathe out and put one foot in front of the other. One of the hardest things we deal with is what some people say to us "That is what you get for choosing to fall in love with a military guy"...I didn't choose this, it happened because he is a wonderful and kind man, but at the same time, if I had the choice, I would do it all again "It is his/her own fault for signing the dotted line"...yes, he did sign, but that doesn't make it any easier, it doesn't make him less human Those are just 2 examples...my questions are...Do you think we are wrong when at times we respond with sarcasm, possibly even a bit of anger at such comments? Do you think that someone who does not agree with the war has the right to place blame on our troops?