Does the passion every truly go away in a marriage?

@mamasan34 (6521)
United States
March 20, 2007 7:25am CST
My boyfriend and I were having a discussion one day and I just thought about it. When a couple has been married for an extended period of time, does the passion die and just leave you with a friendship? Anyone with a story to tell or an opinion? I know with my parents that their passion tapers off and comes back off and on. But for the most part they are just great companions. I think that is very important as well. But what do you think?
2 people like this
7 responses
@jillbeth (2711)
• United States
20 Mar 07
The passions remains if you work to keep it there! I have been married 19 years so I am speaking from experience. The initial physical excitement often wears off when we gat caught up in the day-to-day routine of working, caring for children or parents, and caring for our home. Sometimes there's just no energy left at the end of the day! It does wax and wane, that's not unusual. The couple needs to make time for each other, too, with a regular date night once a week or the occasional weekend away from home and family. Too many couples divorce because they think the passion is gone forever, when they haven't worked on keeping it alive! And it is wonderful to have a companion, someone you know is going to be there for you through good times and bad. Nothing better than being married to your best friend!
4 people like this
@mamasan34 (6521)
• United States
21 Mar 07
I am marrying my best friend. it seems over the years we have come to trust in each other when once upon a time we didn't. I think it is very important to be friends as well as everything else. Thanks for the comment!
• United States
20 Mar 07
I think it gets deeper.
2 people like this
• Singapore
20 Mar 07
I think a couple needs to put in effort to sustain the passion in their marriage. No doubt in a long term relationship, sometimes the passion feels strong, sometimes lacking and at times, one might even wonder where there is any there left. But I believe if a couple puts in effort to be passionate towards each other even if emotionally they don't feel that way at certain times, they are certainly paving the way for a fulfilling marriage that will last a lifetime. That's worth investing in.
@Michele21 (3094)
• United States
20 Mar 07
I agree, passion has to be worked on, it doesn't just happen, for me anyways! I am always telling my husband that we need more passion!! He just thinks I am being silly but it would help our relationship if we had more of it =) I think over time it does fade away...
@lpetges (3036)
• United States
21 Mar 07
i think you go through several stages of marriage. today i'm married 26 years.. i love this man more than the day we married. passion comes in form of devotion, caring, providing, supporting, and a whole bunch more of stuff. when we were first married, i would say lust was more than passion, and when you have children together, that lust turns into a deeper passion, and devotion,, and as you watch your children grow, its even more of a passion for their lives, and loves.. that is what a marriage is. if your speaking of passion in the bedroom,, of course it changes, but not for the worse. and of course its different, because your not the same people that you were 26 years ago.
1 person likes this
@mamasan34 (6521)
• United States
21 Mar 07
That is a great description. Thanks!
@lpetges (3036)
• United States
21 Mar 07
thanks for the best response mark! i really do speak from my heart!
@mamasan34 (6521)
• United States
21 Mar 07
your welcome! I really liked what you had to say.
@sunsham68 (1378)
• India
21 Mar 07
I couldn't say it better than Jillbeth. Jill, you have an amazing way of putting words together!! Its the same impression I have though I don't have the experience, I believe the important thing is to accept that passion, like everything else in life has its ups and downs and you should not make it happen. Having designated quality time helps build it and create the atmosphere, but should not be the expected outcome of that day.I married my best friend too and we are only 6 months into the marriage, but this is what I believe will be my guiding principle when and if we reach this bridge!
@mamasan34 (6521)
• United States
21 Mar 07
I agree. Well, even 6 months into a marriage you can get a feel of what the rest of your life will be I think. That is a good guiding principle. I believe that having a positive attitude is also very important!
@weemam (13377)
21 Mar 07
I have been married almost 46 years to a lovely man , he is my best friend and my soul mate , we have 3 sons 2 who have their own families now ( 4 beautiful grandchildren ) and I still get butterflies in my tummy when I look at him , Time doesn't change everything xx
@mamasan34 (6521)
• United States
21 Mar 07
That is so nice! It is refreshing to know that there are couples out there that still feel the same way and get excited when they see each other. I hope that feeling never goes away for us!