How Much Does A Thank You Cost

@wolfie34 (26791)
United Kingdom
April 12, 2007 6:53am CST
Sorry if I am being over sensitive here, but maybe I am right thinking way or not but here is two scenarios First scenario I am at my Jobclub and this lady who hasn't got much of a clue about computers, so I use MY time to sit and show her, and explain to her, offer ideas, input and my experience in using the internet and how to get her emails from her home account onto the college's account. Ok, so I've done this all for her. She doesn't thank me, she doesn't acknowledge that what I have done for her has saved her a lot of time, effort and stress. Second scenario I sign up to a site to help someone because I know that if you get a referral the person gets the extra bonus/credits/payments. I happily work away at the site earning them more. They send me a downline message telling me how to earn more, obviously for them and so I write back saying that I found their link and I hoped they got credit for me signing up and I asked them if they got many referrals for Mylot out of it. They ignored my email, not even a thanks. Part of me feels like closing the account down to spite them. What does a simply thank you cost? It's being polite, civil and appreciating what someone has kindly done for you, sometimes I feel I am just being taken for granted, and I wonder why do I bother? Next time I feel like keeping quiet and letting them sort out their problem or mess on their own, knowing full well I could do it for them in a minutes?
14 people like this
31 responses
@liranlgo (5748)
• Israel
12 Apr 07
You are absolutely right, and those people should thank you, and others for doing for them or helping them out. But there are all kinds of people in the world, and there is that special kind that things that everything should be done for them and serving them is a honour, and they are the one's that never say thank you, i mean why do they need to thank people for the obvious. I have two ways of dealing with those people, the first one is getting them away from me and very fast, and that means, there is no way that i will do anything for them again, because they do not appreciate it. and the second is, people that i work with and have to see everyday, i will tell them with a lot of humor, why should i do anything for you, you seem to not appreciate it, i never seemed to hear a thank you from you, the last time i helped you. They usually do get the point, and i promise you that the next time, you do anything for them, you will hear a very big thank you.
@wolfie34 (26791)
• United Kingdom
12 Apr 07
It's all in the voice and the stance you take with people, you are right using the humour, if you came out aggressively with how you felt then that would put their backs up. Thank you my friend
@liranlgo (5748)
• Israel
12 Apr 07
;)
@mummymo (23707)
12 Apr 07
you wouldn't do that sweets - you are far too nice! I know how frustrating it can be when people treat you like this but try not to let their ignorance get to you - you reap what you sew and believe me honey you will be well rewarded for everything you have done when you least expect it! I want to say thank you for being such a good friend, for cheering me up, supporting me and encouraging me when I need it most! I am so glad our mutual friend introduced me to mylot and I got to meet so many wonderful people - espescially you honey! Cheer up - we love and appreciate you! big hugs n kisses xxxx
2 people like this
@weemam (13377)
12 Apr 07
and I second that xxxxx
@brokentia (10395)
• United States
12 Apr 07
I am sorry that you didn't get a Thank You. It is two very simple words that people often forget to say. And the one left that should have been thanked feels burned in some way. I know, I have been in that position many of times. But I try to make sure that I let it roll off my back. I know what I did was good...and I would not want to take that out on the next person that I could help out. However, when it comes to referrals on another website...I would rather not. I am very loyal to myLot and I know I would not be happy going to another forum. As for you joining myLot and that person not giving a thanks to helping him or her earn more...that just down right sucks. I would think that the person would be your best and first friend here! I could understand your feelings of not wanting to continue here because of it, I am glad that you have. :) So, thanks for being here!!! :)
2 people like this
@rosie_123 (6118)
12 Apr 07
I agree with you wolfie. My parents bought me up to believe that "manners cost nothing". It doesn't matter whether it is on the Internet or in "real" life, at work or at home, a simple "thank you" canmae so much difference. I am sorry that you are sad about what has happened. Take care my friend.
@wolfie34 (26791)
• United Kingdom
12 Apr 07
Thank you Rosie, I guess the same principles I have like politeness I almost expect it in others and when they fall short of my ideals I get frustrated!
• Singapore
12 Apr 07
Hmm.. it seems that you have met some nasty, ungrateful people recently! :P Well well, what can I say? There are black sheep everywhere and these include those who don't know how to say thank-you. Maybe they subvocalized it and thought you heard them. Maybe you should try this next time. Just it a moment or two (the time allowed for them to say thank-you), then pretend you heard them say thank you and say "No need to say thank you, you are welcome." Give them a smile and a pat and enjoy the embarrassed expression on their face. :P
1 person likes this
12 Apr 07
I have found MyLot great as it is full of people with very similar ideals to my own. I thought I was a dinosaur and one of a kind. I too feel that a simple 'thank you' can go a long way. I do have a habit of saying loudly 'anytime' when I have done something like hold a door open and not been thanked. The person is probably so ignorant they don't know what I am on about but if makes me feel better. I have been lucky recently and most people have been polite and said thanks so perhaps things are looking up. Don't let these two sad souls prevent you from continuing with your wonderfully helpful personality. Just rant at us afterwards if you are not appreciated. We will straighten out your feathers.
1 person likes this
• United States
12 Apr 07
You are right on. In today's society there seems to be a trend where people just don't say thank you or do things to show their appreciation as much. A simple one second "thank you" response means so much, so why don't we try to be more courteous and respectful? We are constantly on our two children to say "please," "thanks," "thank you," "yes sir," "yes ma'am" and so forth because they just don't want to do it. Back in the day, we were always taught to be very polite. The Bible says, "Spare the rod & spoil the child!"
@stacyv81 (5904)
• United States
12 Apr 07
People sometimes overlook the importance of a little thank you. The word thank you takes about 1 second to say, yet it delivers a huge message of appreciation, for something. I also, think people have ben slacking on the "thank you's". You bring up a great point and I hope manners make a big comeback soon.
@wolfie34 (26791)
• United Kingdom
12 Apr 07
Thank you, I am probably cynical enough to go and look up in the dictionary to make sure that the words please and thank you still exist!
• Philippines
20 Apr 07
So sad they haven't said thank you to you, Wolfie. They were so inpolite and with no appreciation at all. I think, for me, somethime even thank yous are not enough to show your genuine appreciation, especially to those who helped you. And it is such a simple word but with a lot of meaning. People should practice the art of saying thank you. Especially to kind and very helpful person like you. Just don't mind them next time, Wolfie they are not worth helping out..Hope you have a nice day by now! Take care!(^^,)
@eaforeman6 (8983)
• United States
18 Apr 07
Thank you is so impotant to everyone. It takes so little effort to be polite and kind. I am very sorry that you did not even get a thank you. Sometimes everyone is living so fast , that they forget the basics, basic manners.If they would only look at how they would like to be treated, then they would be more gracious in situations like this.
@patootie (3593)
15 Apr 07
I try to always say a thank you to someone if they have done some for me unasked .. or unexpectedly .. I also try and say a polite thank you even if I didn;t really want the help .. I think that essentially it's simply polite to say you appreciate someone, anyone doing something for you or to help you out .. And you are right .. a thank you costs absolutely nothing .. but gives people a nice warm feeling for a job done well .. and generally makes the world a nicer place .. Now if you really want to 'lose' that 'other' person I have a nice warm and comfy seat waiting for you in my 'downline' .. you know I'll 'look after you' and appreciate you .. hehehe
@charms88 (7540)
• Philippines
13 Apr 07
Oh my friend, saying "thank you" shouldn't cost anything at all. You happened to meet people who left their manner somewhere. They may deemed it unimportant but they forgot that a simple thank you can do wonder for us. If there's one thing that I'm proud of the people here in my country, its that they know their manner. I will give a piece of paper to my girl, she will say thank you. Even the street children begging for money know how to say thank you. I hope people will continue saying this two inexpensive words. :)
@lingli_78 (12836)
• Australia
13 Apr 07
i know exactly how you feel... i also have a friend in my workplace who is also like that... and i feel very upset and angry everytime she doesn't say thank you after i help her... it is a simple two words but it means a lot to the person who hear it... too bad now we rarely hear people say these words anymore...
@mansha (6301)
• India
13 Apr 07
First scenario i agree with yes lady shuld have said thanks but why on second scenario, if you earned the upline did earn but you also benefitted didn't you. may be you should have thanked the upline. You remind me of one of my reffreal who wanted two dollars in his paypal account just because he joined mylot under me. come on loose the account, why should I pay him. He joined because he wanted to earn too. I also joined under someone and when I ear obviously she also earns but I get my full payment from the site too. Its not as if my lot is taking out of my earnings and giving her. when you jopined you also would have created a downline have you send your thankyou's to all of them. I think its better if we do not come to know who out upline is as thats where all the problem starts. In second scenario I think youare wrong to expetr thank you but should have thanked instead.Like I want to thank the person who referred me here.
@mzz663 (2773)
• United States
13 Apr 07
That kind of behavior gets under my skin. Helping someone, especially at work (where they should assumably already know this stuff) and taking time from your work would definitely merit a thankyou from me. Same with the signing up to a site to help someone else out. First one, if it was me and I didn't get a thankyou or a smile? I'd think twice before I helped again like that. Did she even give you a 'silent' thankyou? maybe grabbing you a coffee or something afterwords? some people do the silent thanks and do other things instead of being verbal. If not, no.....I would do my own work and let them ask someone else or wait til they AT LEAST ask PLEASE. Second one....send another invite and with the invite I'd mention that since you like the site they invited you to "so much" you thought they'd enjoy the site you're inviting them to. Thanks or Thankyou....even ty, is not a hard thing to say (it's only 2 sylables, c'mon!) and it doesn't require much more than a little bit of thought and less than a second to say outloud. Not saying thankyou or not replying to an email like that is being rude. If you ever end up helping the person at work again and you don't recieve a thankyou.....I'd be walking away, turn around and say......"oh!! you're welcome! any time!"
• United States
13 Apr 07
Wow, sweetie...i'm really sorry. That is so awful and rude. you are not being overly sensitive at all! They are being insensitive and rude! You worked your butt off for their benefit. The LEAST they could do is offer you a simple note of gratitude. That makes me so angry...but you see it ALL the time. Even with little things. For example, if someone holds the door open for you. You should then thank them. It is only polite! That is ANOTHER thing, though...if you see someone is going ot struggle with a door becuase they have somethign in their arms or they are in a wheelchair or walker or are pushing someone in a wheelchair, open the d@mned door for them! It is a common couresty!
• Philippines
13 Apr 07
You are not alone, many people are disappointed about how others find it difficult to say THANK YOU. But I'm sure, knowing that you are not alone doesn't make you feel better, maybe even worse. Back in my homeland (Davao City), people don't forget to say "thanks". It's one of the reasons why I wanna stay there, people are so polite. But here, I sometime (most of the time?) find myself getting frustrated with others who doesn't seem to care about my efforts, those who doesn't even think that a simple Thank You will do. There was a time that I almost said "What about a thank you?" Thank God, I was able to hold back, I don't wanna start a fight. Well, on times like these, I caml myself by saying that, "it's ok May, someone else will thank you for that" or "just be thankful that you know more and have more than these people, you are fortunate". There are times that I'm so get used to it now that I tend to just shrug and walk away, simple.
@hmike_d (1529)
• Philippines
13 Apr 07
I love this discussion anyway... but for now it seems like my mind freezed... I feel like you did. But you know what, it seems like each of us have different points of view, interest, attitudes... etc. So we could really understand if we happen to encounter such people like you had with. But then, dont make to the point of generalizing of other. It's such that its a matter of a coincidence and a miscue.. something like that.
@yanstill (1491)
• China
13 Apr 07
i think that if i were that lady,i will never ever do things like her.yes,a simple thanks is different,it makes others know that i appreciate what they have done,even a little.i always say thank you no matter how small that thing is.in your situation,you take a lot of time to help me,then i would ask you for dinner,otherwise if i dont,i will feel guilty,coz you helped so much.
@lols189 (4797)
13 Apr 07
these two scenarios are bad. both people have turned out to use you for your help and dont say thankyou!! well that to me is ignorant and selfish. a thankyou goes a long way and i always thank people for the slightest bit of help as i really appreciate it a lot. be careful what you are doing for people next time through your own goodwill and i hope you get thanked more often. if i dont get a thankyou for helping someone i wont help them again as i dont like to be used like a mug and also wasting my time