Cold, Heartless, Callous, Harsh, Gruff, Unsympathetic, Insensitive,

Ships Passing - Two sailboats passing on the open oceans.
@byfaithonly (10716)
United States
April 17, 2007 8:35am CST
Then add to the list: Uncaring, unfeeling, indifferent, cheater, plagiarizer, thief, robber, crook, fraud, scammer, and con. So, what do all of these very negative words have in common besides being negative?They can all be found on a daily basis here on myLot and the saddest thing of all is that there are many who believe this is acceptable behavior. Then there are the ones who are depressed, unmotivated, frustrated, irritated, and just plain annoyed – by those who are being: heartless, harsh, unsympathetic, plagiarizing, scamming etc. Here’s my question – do you think the people who take part in or condone (think its ok) this behavior are like this in real life? Are their true colors coming out on the internet? Would they say the hateful, hurtful things they say here to their best friend? Would they steal from their elderly grandparents or neighbors? People say that on the internet you can do or be anything you want but I myself am “me” no matter where I am – I care about people whether they are relatives, neighbors, or internet acquaintances. I can tell you, my red highlights are really shining right now – I’m mad. I'm mad at the people behaving this way and have no doubt at all that these people are not nice people in real life also – what do you think?
16 people like this
32 responses
• United States
17 Apr 07
I think a person should just be themselves. I know the words describe every day life. We can't look for this to change on my lot. If these people were not here we would not have a whole forum. I think it is not a nice way to be described at all. However you can change another person. I know from your posts your a very nice person. I would not take this personally. I think this world is changing for the worse period. Many of this can disappear with posters ignoring the persons posts.
6 people like this
@byfaithonly (10716)
• United States
17 Apr 07
Well, thank you very much, it makes me feel good that you feel I am a nice person, I do my best to do that, be nice. I am not at all taking this personally, I feel sorry for the people who are like this and also for the people who live with or around them. This may not be permissable but am going to do it anyway. At just about the same time I posted this discussion a friend of mine posted just the opposite - the good side of life. Dan hope you don't mind the plug but it fits so very well it couldn't have worked better if we had planned it http://www.mylot.com/nr/newresponse.aspx?p=1&qid=1000473
5 people like this
• Singapore
17 Apr 07
Wow, Faith, nice vocabulary you've got there. :P As for your question, it may well be the case that their behavior here mirrors what they exhibit in real life. However, it is also possible that they are relatively well-behaved in actuality. The internet is a haven for anonymous people. On one hand, we have dignified people like wizzy (ROFL). On the other, we have street scums like the many we bump into as we wade through the muddy mess of discussions. Here, they feel less restrained as they do not need to be accountable to the laws of their countries. They can say, do and act in whatever manner they want, and the worst repercussion they might possibly suffer would be a termination of their myLot account. To give it a rational take, a myLot account is really worth zilch. So given a free hand, they engage in unbridled atrocities such as the raping of others' words and the robbing of others' originalities. I want to say that there is no point feeling mad. Yet I can fully understand why you feel mad. What to do? Life goes on. ;-)
5 people like this
@byfaithonly (10716)
• United States
17 Apr 07
Very well put Wizzy but the truth is I just have a difficult time believing that people can just at the drop of a hat say some of the mean heartless things that I've seen people say on not just myLot but other forums also. As for my feeling mad - hey I'm human and add to that German/Irish - my blood does get boiling when I see injustices done to others and even more so when it's to people such as yourself who I count as a 'friend'.
4 people like this
• Singapore
17 Apr 07
Oh Faith.. Faith oh Faith.. you sure know how to coax a smile from me. :P
5 people like this
@byfaithonly (10716)
• United States
17 Apr 07
Well dear didn't you know that is my soul purpose in your life - to get a smile from you :)
4 people like this
@Impervious (1154)
• United States
17 Apr 07
WOW..... Well I have two comments here I think sadly some are like this is real life. You know how it goes misery loves company. And inevitably those that are those things try to bring others down in an effort to make themselves feel better. But also the ananymity that the internet provides in forums such as mylot. Allow others to step outside of the person that they would normally be. Personally I agree with you whether I am on line or in person you are dealing with the same person.
5 people like this
• Canada
17 Apr 07
Well, I guess my posted discussions like "Copy, Paste and SCRAP IT", Mylot Friends, Or R They Phishing 4 Something Else" aren't so bad now that I see this discussion. I was actually here earlier to post a response, left and I came back to post a response. I was saying in my last post that it's just a shame that someone does have enough heart to write from their own thoughts. The idea of ripping what someone else wrote. Is just a far cry from stealing candy from a baby. It rips one's heart out when someone chooses to plagiarize and think it's ok. I too have been a victim of these misfit as I refer to them. Thinking that they're hurting me, not a chance because as I write my thought they're just realizing that my own thought are way above their own. Sufice to say that their own low self-esteem cause them to copy, paste, and re-post. I have many time quoted someone else and actually use quotation marks to give the other credit for what was said. I also feel the copy and paste is a good feature to have, just so long that others don't abuse it. Like I have personally witnessed myself first-hand. What's next you misfits... copy, paste, and re-dress as if you were me. I have often quoted.. "I pity the fool" only to give Mr. T. himself, for using it many times in all the appearances in one the most popular 1980's hit "The A Team". I these misfits think for one second that I've committed a crime by quoting Mr. T.'s "I pity the fool"... this would not be plagiarism. In fact it wouldn't count as a crime considering the quotation marks! LMAO again!!
4 people like this
@byfaithonly (10716)
• United States
17 Apr 07
LOL - I did copy and paste this discussion, from my MS Word to here and believe me I had a lot of spelling errors corrected before I did :) Actually this discussion is partly your fault - you set me off on the latest 'cheater' which resulting in me reporting 5 times where they did the same thing, copied other people's responses including one of mine :( But in the process of doing that I was lead out of my little safety zone and saw even more negative garbage which just erked me. There is a difference between quoting someone and plagerizing someone's work, there is also a difference between voicing an opinion and just being flat out mean. I firmly believe everyone has a right to their opinion but you don't have to be nasty when voicing it.
3 people like this
• Canada
17 Apr 07
If this person wanted to quote me, he/ she could stated... Jazzafrazz said this... "... "
3 people like this
• Canada
17 Apr 07
Well Faith, I'll glady take credit, where credit is due.
2 people like this
@cjsmom (1423)
• United States
17 Apr 07
Unfortunately, Faith, there are many in the world of today that would and do steal from their family and neighbors. When people allow the 'evil one' to take hold of their lives, then it's bound to happen. As you well know, every single one of us are sinners, and only by the Grace of God can we be saved. Doesn't mean that we aren't still sinners; we're just saved by His Grace. It is very sad that there are people on this site that think it's great fun to try and 'pull-one-over' on everyone. Rest assured that people who get their 'kicks' out of hurting others online, etc., definitely do so in real life. We just have to continute to pray for these poor souls and let it go. It doesn't help us to get mad about it; just adds fuel to their fire(s).
4 people like this
@byfaithonly (10716)
• United States
18 Apr 07
You are 100% correct but at the same time I don't think we necessarily need to just set back and let people walk all over us or take advantage either. I know we are to turn the other cheek but does that mean to the extent of not defending ourselves or protecting ourselves at all. I guess I'm kinda wishy washy on this.
3 people like this
@cjsmom (1423)
• United States
18 Apr 07
Believe me, I do agree with you that we should be able to stand up for ourselves and others here who are trying to keep the site a great place to come and spend some time with old and new friends. What I'm just concerned about is that the people who are causing difficulties seem to be making it their mission in life to create more havoc; they just love the fact that we're talking about them and they want us to keep doing it. There are so many good people here and I'm sure they're reporting the abusers every time they see one out-and-about. The only thing I'm saying is that we shouldn't be adding more fuel to their fire. I believe that they are purposely looking for members who talk bad about them and then they do the 'thing' they do best; try to trash them. We should all just continue reporting to staff silently and let them deal with the abusers, nay-sayers, and malicious people. I just don't want to see any more of my friends get hurt more than they are now.
2 people like this
@tammyr (5954)
• Etowah, Tennessee
22 Apr 07
Sorry to be off topic here, but i have not seen you around cjs mom and I just wanted to say Hi, so...HI!! I will look you up tomorrow and respond to some of your threads!
1 person likes this
@AmbiePam (51038)
• United States
17 Apr 07
I think the fact that people are basically anonymous on the internet and mylot, gives them the freedom to be and say what they wish they could tell others to their face. I think the people who are mean and nasty here, are so in real life, you just don't hear everything they say here in their real life. Garbage in, garbage out. If a person fills themselves with this stuff, that's what we are all going to see. But I wouldn't want to neglect to mention the people on mylot who have been above board, and honest - even on the internet. It is a nice blot to put over the 'ickiness' some people just ooze.
4 people like this
• Canada
18 Apr 07
Whether it would be online or offline I am still the same person that likes to express himself. I'm honestly not bothered by who they think they are, sure my words are intense but maybe if people saw it from my chair they would actually know that I'm intense,.. it's quite enjoyable actually. Does it fuel their flames or mine. I say mine because it gives reasons to post a new discussion everytime. in fact i have recently posted a discussion to "Mylotian Members". in most of the cases I have heard is that they like to copy, paste and re-write.. now sure that's not posting exactly what you have written, but it's very close to it. When I choose to respond verbally or written. They react causing guy's like me to make them think.. "what will he do next?" Not realizing that I've gotten under their skin.. giving me the juice to post on my page and I'm sure that they'll just go to my page,.. copy, print and re-write as if they wrote it themselves. I wouldn't be surprised if they took what I wrote here and all of what I mentioned previously. Who knows they'll probably take it all out of context.
3 people like this
@byfaithonly (10716)
• United States
22 Apr 07
"Garbage in, garbage out" Ambie this seem to be very true words and I can see that even here on mylot. I've seen very good and serious discussions turned to garbage because of what some people decide to do to them with their 'garbage' responses...
1 person likes this
• United States
17 Apr 07
I do think a lot of it is that they can't see the people that they are being mean to. If they were face to face with the person they probably wouldn't say the same thing. The Internet provides a sense of being able to say whatever you want and not getting any consequences for it. The people may be taking out their anger/frustration/etc. out on other people when they can't take it out on whoever caused it. It doesn't mean they are bad people, it just means they aren't the nicest people.
4 people like this
• United States
18 Apr 07
Smartire1685 I do agree. If you read what I wrote on page three, you'll see how I believe and what I didn't write is that I am this way in my life. Being sweet is not who I wanted to be. I worked real hard to be obnoxious-when I have to-because the sweet get trampled underfoot. Some people are just naturally nasty all of the time. I am when I have to be. But all people have the right to be sweet or nasty. That's what I love about free choice.
1 person likes this
@charms88 (7540)
• Philippines
17 Apr 07
I know what you mean, faith. Some members can be brutally frank and obnoxious. I've been here for nearly 3 months. Somehow, I've come to understand or catch a glimpse of the real persona behind each username. I can easily detect the kind of person they are. Might be my intuition or I happened to have my antenna raised up everytime I'm here at mylot. It is possible that they are that way in real life. I may be known as bunny, but my feelings and thoughts can easily be seen through my threads. You will know if I'm upset, happy, lonely, and so on. I am a very private bunny by nature, and I'm all too aware that I must be careful too. You know what I learned here, faith? That is to stop being too trusting.
@byfaithonly (10716)
• United States
17 Apr 07
LOL yes dear a bunny does need to be careful about who they trust in this cut-throat world... I am afraid I am a trusting person and trust EVERYONE - until they stab me in the back and then although I know I shouldn't I tend to hold a grudge... There are so many diverse personalities we can come across on the internet it's fasinating to me but makes me sad to see what is happening when someone tells a person with a very dibilitating problem to get off their butts and do something, stop whinning about it. Or a discussion by a person who is very upbeat and positive get trashed because some jerk just likes trashing people.
3 people like this
@kelly60 (4548)
• United States
17 Apr 07
Some of the things that we see here on a regular basis are terrible, and it is awful to think of anyone saying them to another person whether in real life or online. Too many people hide behind their computer screens and never really consider the others as being real people, just avatars or names on the screen. Others of us know that we are all real people, with true emotions. Many of us care about each other, and would never do anything to cause pain to other members deliberately. As for your question, I think that many of those who say those mean and hurtful things are truly hateful people, although I do not like to think so. I would hope that they would not say or do these things to their friends or family, but you never know. I think they are more likely to do it online because they really have nobody to answer to here. They do not have to face you or me as they would their neighbors or family members. They can sit behind their computer screen and say anything they feel like, and know that they will never have to look us in the eye.
@kathy77 (7488)
• Australia
17 Apr 07
Well I do not think that this is acceptable behavior at all, I understand it is very negative and would hate to have this in my life on a daily basis. I don't think that this would be anyone's daily life at all. I have never really read anything that negative on mylot so far that I have been here. Yes I am myself as well it is no use to try to be something that you are not. I also care about people no matter who they are. I would not believe that these are nice people either.
4 people like this
• Canada
18 Apr 07
The people who take part or conodne this behaviour are probally not like that in real life becaus they woudl nto have it in them to say things like that to someones face or so that they could hear them most people are too scared or nervous to say hurtful and mean things to other. You are so right to be angry with casue some people belive thatthe internet is still annonmis and they can say and do as they please. Now for soem advice Ther 4emight be soemthing wrong with me casue i am always optimistic and happy, in a good, playful joking mood do you think i should go on some medication so i can fit in better or should i just try to depress myself. I not looking forward to either option.
3 people like this
@byfaithonly (10716)
• United States
18 Apr 07
NO NO NO - you stay optimistic and happy, we like you that way :)
1 person likes this
• Canada
18 Apr 07
OK just casue you asked i will but if i get any happier might need to be medicated lol
1 person likes this
@Zloofah (83)
• United States
19 Apr 07
I think you bring up a great point! Sometimes (more so as a teen) I have found myself a little more free with myself online than I would be in person. However, I am more myself online than I was. You also reminded me that yes, unfortunately there are people like this online but we can remember to pray for them instead of getting mad at them. Trust me, that is easier said than done because I am the chief of the people who get mad and stay angry for a long time and don't consider praying for them. However, online I can also have the reponse time to think and pray for them and respond to them with well thought out words from the Holy Spirit. Thank you!
@byfaithonly (10716)
• United States
19 Apr 07
Oh I love those people, the super negative. I do get mad but when I get mad I get even and my favorite way of doing that is to just pray pray pray for that particular person. Little do people know that often I am on myLot for hours and hours and will not post or respond to a single discussion - I am praying for people... LOL they won't know it but I am doing it and I know God hears my prayers.
2 people like this
@gberlin (3836)
18 Apr 07
I think that a person's true feelings come out in forums like this because there is no threat of retaliation that will harm them physically. Some people like being bullies and forums are a place where they can push themselves around without consequences. I simply avoid those people on the internet.
@byfaithonly (10716)
• United States
19 Apr 07
For the most part I do try to avoid those types of people but there seem to be times that I almost hunt them out - not that I think I bring the worst out in people but I just seem open for their 'attachs'.
2 people like this
@friendship (2085)
• Canada
19 Apr 07
I am also being myself no matter where I am. According to the study, most people are more honest online than on real life. So, people who are acting unsympathetic, heartless, uncaring, indifferent etc online may also be individuals who are like that in their real life. Of course, there are some exceptions such as pedophiles, predators, etc. In this case, they can do or be anything they want.
@jennybianca (12913)
• Australia
19 Apr 07
Sorry I have taken a bit long in responding. I seriously doubt that people behave quite this way in real life. The internet gives them the opportunity to "lash out". For those who have emotional problems & marriage problems, this is an "outlet" for them. I kind of seperate the different behaviours here on My Lot. If I found anyone calling someone on My Lot a name, I would either respond (harshly), or report them. Fortunately I hardly ever see that aspect. Then there are all the discussions that are about the negative aspects of life,such as scams, or things on the internet. Some I ignore. If a person is complaining aboput something quite genuine, then I may respond. I really don't loose any sleep over the negative aspects on My Lot, & you shouldn't either.
@freesoul (3023)
• Egypt
18 Apr 07
The internet gives people a chance to be their true selves sometimes because they can go unrecognized and unpunished, I think people as you described can not be nice in their offline lives, but many times they pretend to be nice and you can see their truth in some situations, it's also sad that they can be nice with everyone except with their close family, as they pretend all day they must revert to their abusive selves at the end when they are back home :(
3 people like this
@dlkuku (1936)
• United States
18 Apr 07
I feel like I need to hold myself to certain standards, even online. I don't know how people can be mean, maybe I don't understand because it's not in my nature to be like that. I think I agree with you, nasty people in real life are probably nasty here too. I don't think there is any call to be mean, and I think people need to learn how to agree to disagree instead of name calling and bashing. And if they don't agree, why say anything at all if they can't contribute to a discussion postively?
@kodie420 (872)
• Canada
18 Apr 07
Well I agree with most of what you say and there are alot of people on here who are probably as ignorant in real life as they are on here. Me personally I dont have time to listen or responsed to all the whinning so I just by pass all those topics. I would like to see some more cheery up beat conversations instead of all this whinning.
3 people like this
@MsTickle (25065)
• Australia
18 Apr 07
It's my belief that the world is made up of things that are in balance. Therefore, for every positive you get a negative. For all the good people there are just as many bad. Different circumstances make the balance tip the other way at any time. One must accept and pray and trust in the Lord. We are not meant to understand everything, we are meant to acknowledge him, and follow his teachings. Leave the rest to him.
@wachit14 (3600)
• United States
17 Apr 07
I don't overanalyze people from the internet this way. We are but ships that pass in the night...most of us. Besides, those who want to call attention to themselves by sending out negative energy, just draw the same energy back to themselves...what goes around, comes around.