Were you a battered wife/girlfriend?

Philippines
April 18, 2007 7:28am CST
My husband (ex, since we're separated) used to see himself as a boxer and I, his punching bag. When we argue over something, he gets really mad with my soft-voiced but sharp and honest remarks... sometimes I blame myself for getting the punch. But there were times too when he got home drunk, and I never uttered even a single word and I still got the punch. I was 21, full of life, full of hopes and dreams, telling myself, now I can start building the family that I've always dreamt of, now I can emulate my Mom and raise my own kids the way she raised us.. but oh boy, what a shock! My dreams shattered, my life destroyed, my hope depleted. I can never believe in a man's promise anymore.... I stayed for a year, hoping I can change the guy. But once a skunk, always a skunk. No matter how many times he promise never to do it again, he still hit me. The day I started hiding a knife under my pillow because of my fear for him, I decided I can't go on with this kind of life anymore, I have to stop this crazy dream... So I walked out on him, told him it's way much much better to separate ways or end up killing each other... Did you have this experience? Did you have a boyfriend who hits? a husband? how did you take it?
1 person likes this
5 responses
@rezaferry (141)
• United States
18 Apr 07
Even though I have never been in an abusive relationship, or plan to be in one (I'm a man btw). I feel for you. I'm sad to hear your story, that some people have the tendency to be crazy, to beat up people.. It's like they were never taught to be nice.
• Philippines
18 Apr 07
He was actually taught to be nice and I'm kinda sure of that. He just never learned his lessons well. Well, I'm over him now and definitely over with guys like him... Contrary to him, I've been taught a major lesson in life and I learned my lesson well.
• Philippines
18 Apr 07
By the way, thanks for feeling for me....
• Philippines
19 Apr 07
good thing no! my husband (nor any of my previous boyfriend) never hit me, never even planned to. i think i have a strong personality and i am very vocal on what i like and i don't like in a person. this has been a constant reminder to my partner so he makes it a point that if he is mad at me, he'd just transfer his anger to anything else. i hope i won't be able to reach the point that my husband or anyone will hit me... i'd hit them first before they can do it to me. i'm glad that you were able to get away from that relationship. and i hope you can now move on with your life.
• Philippines
19 Apr 07
You'll hut them first? Wow! What a brave woman! LOL, you just made my day honey... Good for you, you are strong, I sure do wanna be strong soemtimes though I have a facade of being a tough lady, it's a mere facade... I'm trying to move on now, I guess I'll be fine... Thanks for your reply :D
@femimi (872)
• Indonesia
19 Apr 07
I haven't been in that situation. But if I were you, I will take same decision, leaving him. So... your decision is right, you deserved to be loved, not to be punched.
• Philippines
19 Apr 07
Yup, we all deserved to be love... but some things just happen for some reasons... thanks for your reply...
@lucky_witch (2711)
• Philippines
18 Apr 07
Oh... I never experienced that but I feel sad for you... No matter what the reason is... there would be not enough reason to hurt the one you love physically!!! Good to hear you left him... not all men are like that... I just hope youll find the right guy for you in time... Just enjoy your life ok...
• Philippines
19 Apr 07
Yes, I can still remember one Minister saying in a wedding that I attended, he said this to the guy "You didn't spend a single centavo in bringing up this woman, you have no right whatsoever to hurt her because you are taking her away from the comfort and love of her family, the least you can do is love her..." That brought me to tears... Oh well, that's over now, thanks for the reply :D
@mannu123 (144)
• India
18 Apr 07
I never had to go through all this, maybe because my husband is a very calm guy. Its not that we don't fight, and shout at each other ...but hitting,no it never happened.I feel you have taken a wise decision. All men are not the same and we always don't go through bad experiences of life.
• Philippines
18 Apr 07
Good for you... I always envy happy couples... I wish you'll stay happily married... God Bless...