I finally put my foot down!

@soccermom (3200)
United States
April 18, 2007 9:29pm CST
I coached soccer last year for AYSO. This year I volunteered to Assistant coach because I joined the board and it takes up quite a bit of time. We're at our board meeting tonight and the other 5 look at me and tell me they've decided I'm coaching a U8 team. I told my fellow board members NO WAY! I am already helping a U12 & a U5 team, Helping organize picture days (which is no small feat when it's you vs. 1000 kids)and helping with this years weekend tournament. There is only so much I can do, I work and have a family too. I'm proud of myself because I usually say "yes" to everything. Maybe I have hit that point, I don't know, but it felt good to say no and not cave in! Do you overextend yourself? When did you hit the point when enough is enough?
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6 responses
@tmlnmr (1850)
• Canada
20 Apr 07
hey soccermom, I had my children "trained" at an earlier age to do their own lunches. They used to bring part of them home say they didn't like whatever and that they were still hungry because they didn't eat whatever so I made a deal with them and said that they could do their own lunch with whatever but I needed to "approve" what was going into it. I mean I made sure that they had the healthy snacks and a sandwhich or some leftovers they could heat up. I made sure it wasn't all junk food they were eating. Then if they said they were hungry it became a lesson for them to either finish their lunch or bring a little more. Anyway, my point is that children are not useless and they don't need "mommy" to do everything for them. Not to mention the lifes lesson they will get out of it. Teaching them to do things for themselves will help them as an adult.
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@soccermom (3200)
• United States
20 Apr 07
Here's the crazy part as far as my family goes....my oldest daughter and my husband are both capable of fending for themselves, my hubby is actually awesome in the kitchen, but I can not sit still for more than 10 minutes at a time when I am home so they have gotten accustommed to me doing everything for them. They'll do it if I ask, but I rarely ever ask. It is a problem of my own making, however with the soccer situation I had just had enough. Gas for all the running around I have to do for soccer is putting a crimp in my budget, I just can't take on anymore, emotionally and financially.
@SpitFire179 (2536)
• Canada
19 Apr 07
Good job hun, you really do deserve to put your foot down and stop being walked all over! You done good! I used to do everything people asked and told me to do, but a couple of years ago, i finally decided that was it and i started putting my foot down.. It started one day when my hubby was just joking and said to me where's supper, and i told him to make it his damned self, he wasn't too impressed at first, but now, he knows too that you don't expect me to do what you want me to do when you want me to do it, no one walks over me now, i do what i want, when i want to do it, and it feels damn good!
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@soccermom (3200)
• United States
19 Apr 07
i know this sounds silly but I'm hoping eventually this will "spread" so I can start putting my foot down at home. I've noticed I am turning into everything for everybody here, and it's part of my job as a mother and a wife, but it gets really disturbing when I get up, get three kids ready, go to work, go to soccer practice and then get home and hear "Are you going to pack my lunch?" which isn't really a question, more of a "Don't forget to pack my lunch." Maybe this weekend it's time for a talk on doing the little things for themselves!
• Canada
19 Apr 07
You can do it hun, you know you can, if there's something you want to do to put your foot down, try what i do, sometimes i get really nervous, so i swallow those nerves, and get on with it, and after i feel soooooooo much better, oh my god. So you can do it, i'm rootin for ya, go go girlie! haha
1 person likes this
• United States
19 Apr 07
Good luck with that. I've been on the board of our local youth football and cheer organization for about four years now. I've been coaching for five years, whether I intended to or not. Last year, I said no. I said it 927 times. I am the treasurer, but I was also doing photo IDs and helping handle the paperwork, etc. Even with a Board of 13, it's the same 4 or 5 of us who do everything, and I felt I was just too busy to coach. Not to mention the year before, I'd almost had a nervous breakdown because of the stress over all the work and some issues we were having with a couple people. It was a week into the season and they still didn't have a coach for my daughters' squad. So finally I had to step up. I told them I would be an assistant coach if they found a warm body to take the head coaching position, since I couldn't always be at the away games because of my other duties. They did. I still ended up doing all the work and being overloaded. So I wish you luck in escaping!
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@jchampany (1131)
• United States
19 Apr 07
Good for you. I too usually cave in, but you are right there is only so much one person can do. Now your family will be suffering a little less from your absence.
@Lakota12 (42681)
• United States
19 Apr 07
every feww months I hit that spot then we all get into a shouting match even if we are outside and the neighbors can hear lol.You way over do it you will burn out soon if ya dont slow down some
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@tmlnmr (1850)
• Canada
19 Apr 07
Good for you!! I have a hard time saying no to people as well. I have a tendency to overextend myself and always pay for it. I don't really feel I "cave in" I just like helping. Although I don't get into the same situations as you did. Fortunately I don't know anything about coaching any type of sport. LOL. I do however over extend myself at work and my boss knows I will work with just a phone call. I have gone so far as to double book myself at work. I mean needing to be at two places at the same time. Fortunately for me my mother in law worked at the same job as one of my jobs and she was able to cover for me. Anyway, it's not worth the risk, physical and mental health that is.
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