Am I Really Like That?
By SpitFire179
@SpitFire179 (2536)
Canada
April 19, 2007 1:47am CST
Okay, friends, or anyone who's read my discussions and responses, i have a really serious question for you.... And please, answer honestly....
Tonight i had someone seriously ask me this "Do you ever think of anything but yourself?"
I don't talk to this person much, if at all, and usually, i just answer questions, or do what i gotta do.... ask how their doing and such.. that's about it...
Anyway, yes, at times i know damn well i can be selfish, and think only solely of myself, but so can everyone, but this is where i need your help...
You know me pretty well, a lot of you, especially a certain collective of you, so please tell me, do you think that I'm a little too selfish, or self centered, or into myself?
Honestly, i won't get mad at you for saying anything, this is all part of trying to become a better person i guess....
Thanks all of you in advance.....
1 person likes this
3 responses
@Darkwing (21583)
•
20 Apr 07
I've responded to a few of your discussions and you to mine and my answer is "No, I don't think you're selfish, at all." I've heard you talk of your family, your husband, your friends and the like and although there's a certain amount we relate about our loved ones on here, it is so difficult to keep it going. We have to write through our own experiences and our own eyes, and if we appear to be acting selfishly, then sobeit. I suppose we can use the word people, or one, instead of I, all the time but it's very difficult when you're giving an opinion.
Ok, yes, you do write quite a bit about yourself, but show me a person who doesn't. I know I do. (ha ha ha, two I's in one short sentence). However, Spitfire, I wouldn't take this slight personally... I don't see how you can give a personal opinion in a discussion without doing this, and the person who has called you selfish should look inside themselves to ascertain as to whether they use the same style.
Please carry on just the way you are, because if you change on another person's whim, you won't be yourself. I'll just leave you with this... at least, you have character and a pretty bright outlook on life, despite previous doubts and disappointments! Just keep on posting... brightest blessings.
@Denmarkguy (1845)
• United States
20 Apr 07
I think I'm a reasonably good judge of character, and I can't say that I have really thought of you as being "too into yourself." Besides, as Wizzy pointed out, what else is there to talk about....?
Seriously, though, I have been asked a similar thing from time to time-- especially when I was younger. Usually the people doing the asking were confusing "self-possessed" with "self-important," and were uncomfortable with the idea that I seemed to "know myself" and my place in the world in my teens and early 20's, when their own state of awareness made them slightly more (but not a whole lot) advanced than your average amoeba. Maybe that's a bit rude of me to say, but it was part of the reason I tended to get along much better with people older than me.
@Denmarkguy (1845)
• United States
20 Apr 07
Dear heart, because you're ahead of your years, you ultimately are smart enough to also ask the question "where's the value" in having a fight with someone whose mind is already made up. Ever hear the saying "Don't confuse me with the FACTS when my mind is already made up?"
One of the things I clued into really early in life was that some people can't handle "exceptions" in their lives. They like to live by little "boxed definitions" and anything outside the box must be neatly packaged INTO the box. Which is unfortunate, when YOU are what needs to be packaged! I'm often called a "pacifist," but actually I'm more like someone who "picks battles carefully." And some people are just not worth wasting energy on... because no matter WHAT you say, you "can't" ever be right, in their eyes.
Obviously the guy you had a fight with was invested in a "reality" that boxed 18-year olds as "children who don't know who they are." And what the heck, he's probably RIGHT, much of the time. When I was 18, I thought my peers were "kids." What's anger-making isn't really the point of view, but the "absolutist" and "generalized" nature of it.
Of course, it sucks when you don't have a choice to just walk away from someone like that... as in, you have to work with them. Personally, I used to take quiet pleasure in proving them wrong... not through words, but through actions. But hey, that's just me.
Rant on...
@SpitFire179 (2536)
• Canada
1 May 07
that's cute, i've never been called heart before :P
This guy's called me so many things, and treated me as if i don't belong here, or anywhere, and for a while, i don't know what it was, but i started to believe it...
i think it just hit real hard that he was saying the same things that inevitably, my father also takes pride in saying.
But, it's too bad that this guy doesn't have the brains or insight to see the way things really are, and for that, he'll see it eventually.
I cut all ties with him, won't have anything more to do with him, i don't need to start falling now.
Though in the beginning, i was pretty defensive, and rude right back, shows my immature side, but i guess there are still things i need to work on.
Thanks for your kind words, you always have something great to say.
@lordwarwizard (35747)
• Singapore
19 Apr 07
What's wrong with thinking about yourself? This is in our genetic code - our survival instinct. There is nothing wrong with that. As for your discussions and responses, of course you must talk about yourself. What else to talk about? :P
@SpitFire179 (2536)
• Canada
19 Apr 07
i didn't actually think i thought about myself and what i wanted that much, but i don't know now....
That discussion came off a little selfish too, i didn't mean to say i have to ask how this person is, i meant to say AND i ask how their doing..
Thanks for the response.
