Why not blame the bullies for Virginia Tech?

@Drakhan (240)
United States
April 19, 2007 4:35pm CST
I want to get this off my chest. Cho Seung-Hui killed 32 people at Virginia Tech. It was an evil, violent act and he should be condemned for it. However, I'm a little annoyed at the way people are reacting. Over and over, people say he was depressed, angry and alone. They say he was bullied. He said he was bullied and put down by snobs. Yet, people keep asking why he didn't get counseling or why he wasn't removed from school or why no one ever did anything to him because, effectively, he was a misfit. To me, that seems to be exactly what caused the shooting. No matter what his problem was, society's solution always seemed to be to tell him he was a misfit and he had a problem. If people were bullying him or making him feel like a second-rate person, he was treated for depression and he was put on medication. I think the emphasis is in the wrong place. We can blame his taste in books, music and movies. We can call him a weirdo who had no social skills. But that's not what drove him to kill 32 people. Why is it that every time we have an incident like Virginia Tech or Columbine, we seem afraid to address the real issue at the root of why these kids finally snap? Why are we letting bullies and snobs push kids around until they finally snap? Instead of trying for force Seung-Hui into counseling, why didn't anyone ever reprimand at least one of the people bullying him?
10 people like this
10 responses
• United States
20 Apr 07
I disagree - no one is responsible except for Cho. Other people get picked on and they don't go on murderous rampages. The fact that he snapped because he didn't fit in just goes to show he had some mental problems and did need counciling.
3 people like this
@Drakhan (240)
• United States
20 Apr 07
That's my thinking here. By putting all the blame on him and saying he was just a weird kid, then blaming the police for not smacking down the weird kid, and the counselors for not tagging him as a weird kid with some kind of psychic magic marker, and then ignoring the people who drove him to be a weird kid, we're just setting this up to happen again and again. We responded to Columbine with dress codes and metal detectors and more pressure on weird kids to "fit it." That hasn't worked. I'm afraid this is going to cause people to put even more pressure on marginalized kids. How many kids are hearing today "Don't go out dressed like that. People will think you're a weirdo?" That's not helpful.
• United States
20 Apr 07
We all have choices in this life. Yes, some people get bullied, made fun of, etc and that is bad and cruel. But it is NO excuse for killing anyone! There are people out there that do care and want to help anyone who is trouble/depressed/angry/lonely. He was angry at the whole world. People who went to high school with him said that he didn't want any friends. People would try to talk to him and he would just push them away. There were people who tried to be his friend. He had opportunities to get help. Plus, I'm sure he heard the Good News of Jesus Christ and He would have helped him if he only would have let Him. Lots of people go thru horrible times in their lives, and when they know the Lord, they receive incredible peace and joy that only comes from knowing Christ. Those who do not know Him...well, it's totally sad and tragic. My thoughts and prayers go out to those who lost loved ones, the student body, the professors, administrators and all of my hometown..Christiansburg and Blacksburg. I pray God's great comfort and peace be with them. Only God Himself can truly heal. We need to turn to Him. God bless.
@Ravenladyj (22904)
• United States
20 Apr 07
"You can't blame everyone else for one crazy persons actions. When you take blame off the shooter and start placing it on others, you are taking away free will" no no no I'm not taking the blame OFF of Cho at all! BUT he's not the ONLY ONE to be responsible...Sure Cho is to blame..I'd never argue that for a new york minute...BUT others need to step up and realize that ppl drove him to that craziness ya know....ALSO ppl need to start stepping up to NOT doing more BEFORE the fact considering he'd set fire to a dorm room AND was stalking women on campus! THEY KNEW (students had apparently talked about it long before this) that he was a bad scene waiting to explode.....
• India
20 Apr 07
I agree with you somewhat. While some pople have responded that being bullied doesn't turn you into a murderer (and that is certainly true, most people can withstand this kind of stuff)it can't have helped. Cho was a psychologically weak young man and we can't stop them from being born, so the question that we should be asking is - what can we do to stop someone like cho from snapping? I think that schools have become such hostile places that we are in danger of leaving our kids with a bleak world view where practically everyone is an enemy and there is no compassion or kindness.
@Drakhan (240)
• United States
20 Apr 07
Exactly. I'm not trying to excuse the shooting. But I've seen the way authority figures "reach out" to kids they think are weird. And I think it just hastens the snapping point. Like the teacher who made him read out loud when he didn't want to. That story gets told over and over and it always ends with the other kids pointing and laughing. Nobody mentions what the teacher did to the other kids for humiliating Cho after the teacher forced him to read aloud. What do you want to bet that's because nothing was even said to them. They were just being kids and Cho was just being a weird kid. So, yeah, eventually, he screamed in a way that made people hear him. What he did was wrong, but it didn't happen overnight.
@AJ1952Chats (2332)
• Anderson, Indiana
20 Apr 07
If I weren't already in love with somebody else, I just might ask you to marry me! Seriously, I'm glad to have come across you--and, while I haven't asked you to marry me, I've invited you to be my friend. I hope you'll accept, because you're my kind of person! Over and over and over again, this kind of thing happens--and over and over and over again, people just don't get it! Thank you for having a clue! I see that you were born in 1964, so you were just a tot when young people were going to San Francisco with flowers in their hair. I had just graduated from eighth grade at that time, so I lived through it--even though my trip to San Francisco that year was part of a family vacation instead of going as a hippie to become a resident of the Haight-Asbury area. Although at least some of my views were more conservative than your average hippie of that time, I consider myself to be one of them to this day in the message they were sending about peace and love--and I keep asking, "What happened?" When did we get away from all of that peace and love philosophy and start going for the throat? When did cruelty become trendy? There has always been teasing--and even some bullying--in schools, but when did it become such a sport while teachers nod and wink? I neither condone nor excuse opening fire on others--and (from what I've read about them0 those students and teachers who ended up receiving the rage of this disturbed, young man were, more likely than not, the kind of people who would be wanting to reach out and help him--I place the biggest part of the blame on those people who bullied him over the years and for all of those teachers who not only let it go on but even, at times, participated! Take a newspaper... If I were to get that newspaper, pour some lighter fluid on it, and strike a match to it--after which, I would leave it on a coffee table in the living room of a house--and, if people saw it happening but nobody tried to stop me--would the newspaper be to blame when the entire house caught on fire and burned to the ground?
@Drakhan (240)
• United States
21 Apr 07
I really think that's what disturbs me most about this. Nobody wants to admit maybe the kid's pain was legitimate. And I think that is because if we admit that he wasn't just a psycho, then it means there's something wrong with our culture and maybe with us as well because ultimately we are responsible for our culture.
• United States
20 Apr 07
I don't like how he was said to be a danger to others and should be hospitalized but he was still let loose. And with bullying, I believe most schools aren't doing a thing about, well at least the schools in my area. Most teachers and security officers are too lazy and don't really care about bullying unless it gets too out of hand but even the slightest physical or verbal abuse can trigger mental trama and drive some of these kids to obtain a weapon and wreak havoc on society.
1 person likes this
• United States
20 Apr 07
I would also like to add that he was exposed to tetrachloroethylene, a solvent used in dry cleaning, as a child and it can have mental effects including schizophrenia.
@Drakhan (240)
• United States
20 Apr 07
I agree there are multiple causes. It bothers me that most people seem to be discounting the reasons the killer himself gave in favor of theories that make them feel better and safer. It's more comfortable but I don't think it solves the problem.
• United States
20 Apr 07
I think you have a point. Of course what he did was not ok but he was insane so he did not know what he was doing. The people who drove him insane do share some of the blame and our society needs to recognize that. By the time he went to college it was probably too late. But if someone had done something earlier. Immigrants are treated really badly in this country, they are stereotyped against and told they are less than human. It is horrible and in light of what happened people should reach out and tell immigrants that they are people to and the people who bully them should be punished. There is definitely something to be learned from this. I just hope that something will be done to help people like him before something worse happens.
@breepeace (3014)
• Canada
20 Apr 07
I have a question.. why are we always wanting to place the blame on someone? He's a disturbed kid. End. I hate how society is always looking for a scapegoat.
1 person likes this
@Ravenladyj (22904)
• United States
20 Apr 07
"You can only truly fix or change things if you really understand how the dynamic works in the first place, and that does require a closer look at cause and effect" I agree....I've seen a lot of crazy a$$ sh!t in my yrs from ppl of all walks of life and in numerous situations etc and I study ppl, have for many yrs (kept me alive) and I'll tell ya regardless of the negative act whatever that may be (in this case a killing spree) nothing is ever fully ONE PERSONS fault...it goes a lot deeper than that...
• United States
20 Apr 07
Let's watch the language please.
• United States
20 Apr 07
I'm not looking for a scapegoat. I'm examining what drives people to do this sort of thing. You can only truly fix or change things if you really understand how the dynamic works in the first place, and that does require a closer look at cause and effect (as opposed to 'blame'). If we all had your attitude, we'd have more school shootings, since nobody would bother to look for a reason or a way to prevent them. They'd just shrug and write it off as another disturbed kid.
2 people like this
@jbrooks0127 (2324)
• United States
20 Apr 07
No matter where you go in life...from childhood on through adulthood....we are always going to have to deal with bullies. How we deal and confront them is a direct reflection upon our mental state. As we get older those confrontations still occur, from a physical confrontation to more of a mental or social one but it still happens. Had he been more socially adjusted he would have seen that no matter what they did, no matter how he may have been rejected by a love interest, it should never reflect on him as a person. If you allow what others do to effect you then you are putting the cause of all your problems on someone else. And ultiimatly we are responsible for only ourselves. What I feel needed to be done was once the signs were recognized that he did have problems he should have been removed from that environment until he sought help that would bring him back to center. This would have to have been done with a caring and understanding of where he was. Not just kicked out. His outlook on life became, they are all against me, and that is always a recipe for disaster. The reason people begin to put tags on what he was is an attempt to understand what kind of person will do this and how we can stop them before it happens. The problem is we can't. No one truly knows what goes on inside each of us. Most people are very good at covering up there feelings until thay can't stand it anymore. The very minute each of us leaves home we are putting ourselves out in a place where someone can kill us. That scares us to know how vulnerable we are to this. Cho did not experience anything different than most all other shy people do. His perception of it however made all the difference.
@Ravenladyj (22904)
• United States
20 Apr 07
Galena I agree with you completely...I've never had an issue with bullies MYSELF, not to a major extreme...but I'm also a street kid who takes crap from no-one...HOWEVER I've seen my 6 YR OLD SON SO DEVASTATED becuaes of bullies he was goin to kill himself...Like I've mentioned before, my 11 YR OLD NEPHEW was so destroyed thanks to bullies HE TOOK HIS OWN LIFE.... Ppl are mistaking being bullied every so often and the occasional spitball or name calling with being tortured DAILY, yr after yr...ITS NOT THE SAME THING!
@Galena (9110)
20 Apr 07
but it's wrong. we shouldn't HAVE to deal with bullies. they should be punished as soon as they show any inclination to bullying. they cause so much suffering and they get away with it time and time again, and it's people like me who suffer for the rest of their lives just because some people think it's JUST bullying. JUST kids being kids. well it's wrong. no one should HAVE to tolerate being tortured day in day out.
1 person likes this
• United States
22 Apr 07
What people who say "oh there are alway bullies" don't understand is that it is a process of erosion. A person can be bullied for quite a while without going anywhere near the edge. But it is when it happens for years on end, with no relief, that it begins to wear away the ability to cope. The perpetually bullied child becomes less and less confident, feels more and more worthless, and becomes an even bigger target as the years go by because he/she is gradually weakened and worn away to a mentally defenseless shell. Bullies, who are really cowards to begin with, pick their prey based on how defenseless they are. So as the child becomes less able to cope and defend themselves, they become prey for more and more bullies. Schools focus on physical bullying. What they need to focus on are the psychological aspects of bullying. It's much more difficult to do, but so much more crucial. Believe me, bullies don't have to lay a finger on you to make your life a living hell! When the world makes it clear to you that you are not of of them, and that you do not belong, you no longer consider yourself part of the herd, either. And you dream of making the herd pay for labeling, mocking, bullying, teasing, and pushing you out, merely for being a bit different. Maybe what these shooters' final message is, is "You may think you are better than me, but look, you bleed and die just like I do."
@callarse1 (4783)
• United States
20 Apr 07
There are so much more to the issue. Some people cannot handle being picked on, and you do raise many points. There should have been people that picked up on his anger/depression and see that he was being bullied. Who knows though? Bullies should be punished as well especially at a university level. That stuff is NOT acceptable at all. Have a nice day. Pablo
1 person likes this
@miamilady (4910)
• United States
29 Jun 07
Excellent discussion. I agree with you. We need to focus more on bullying. I think that the school system shoud put more effort into dealing with bullying. My child's school and an after school "seminar" on bullying. I could not attend because I was at a meeting, but I thought it was a good idea. Parents and children were invited to attend. I'm not sure what the turn out was, but I think that it would be even more useful if they did it during school so that all the students would participate. I also think parents should make it a point to teach their children to be more sensitive to the feelings of others. Of course it's not right to go ballistic and start shooting people. That's just plain wrong. But the reality is there are a lot of lost and lonely souls in this world and a lot of people who don't get that one kind person in their life to reach out to them and turn them in the right direction. Sometimes it only takes one person to help another person out. We need to teach our kids to be kind to one another and we need to make them aware,that you never know what one thing will be what pushes someone over the edge. Some people just don't have the same resources or privileges that others do and people should just be kinder to one another. Thanks for the great discussion topic.
• Philippines
20 Apr 07
i am turning the round of the table to the killer's mom, i think and i do believe that our parents is the most responsible in bringing, feeding and teaching the right attitude to there children, maybe he has the attitude problem no one in this world with a normal mind will that kind of killings.