make them behave!

I feel that children should of course come into public, such as restaurants, stores, etc., because like you said, how else will they learn how to behave properly? However, if a child does misbehave in a store, it is the duty of the parent to reprimand them, take them aside quietly and instruct them in behaving properly. I work at a department store, and so many times I see parents who have children with them and they run around like maniacs, pulling products off the shelves, throwing clothing on the floor, screaming and crying, etc. It's really awful and it's hard to get my job done! The parents don't do anything, either! Then if the children happen to get in my way, they speak to me nastily as if it were my fault. The other day I was pushing a heavy metal cart, and there was a little girl standing nearby, she wasn't close enough that the cart would hit her. However, the cart veered and came very close to her. The dad pulled her out of the way and I apologized, saying that the cart had turned. The mother said to me rudely, "Then you should have waited until she was out of the way". I told her that I had plenty of room, and that I didn't know that it didn't go straight. I walked away to put the cart away and the mother was stroking the little girl's hair (she wasn't even touched by the cart) and said, "She should have waited to push it", although I had done nothing wrong. Two minutes later, the girl was running around crazily and I almost tripped over her. The mother yelled at her, but gave me a nasty look. You can't have it both ways, lady! I was only trying to do my job. Another time there was a little girl who was screaming at the top of her lungs, "But I want to have a birthday party!" The mother kept saying over and over, "If you don't be quiet you won't get a party" and the girl would reply by wailing out that she "WANTED one and you're so MEAN". That went on for about thirty minutes. As a cashier I could lose my job for asking a customer to keep their children's noise level down, which is silly. I believe that people should work harder to get their children to behave in public. As for a right age, I think once a child is old enough to know what "You have to be quiet in here" means, they should be making an effort to keep their voice down, as much as they can. I don't mind at all when little children talk excitedly, even if it's loudly, but when they scream and scream it's really unbelievable that the parent doesn't do anything about that.

You begin to teach them to behave since they are very little. Each thing builds on the next and there should be no difference in behaving whether at home or away. I always made it clear that any misbehavior in public meant no goodies or eating out. We are the parent and they need to listen to us. It only takes a time or maybe two before they get the idea, if you are consistent, that behaving is the best thing to do.

Tehre will be times when you can not avoid taking the children with you. Last night a friend of mine and I went to a knitting club meeting. She brought her little 4 year old daughter with her, and the child was so well behaved, I didn't even know she WAs a child! LOL I thought she was a little mini-adult! Boy was she ever well behaved!!! Now, this little girl is the youngest in the family, so she probably learned from her older siblings, and her older siblings learned from their parents. My mother always asked us, as children, if we ever saw adults acting that way, and since we did not, then we should not act that way either. Worked great!

however embarassing it is for the parents, the only way a child can be taught how to behave in public is to be taken out as young as possible and regularly. It is the only way a child can learn blessed be

I take my 14 month old with me just about everywhere I go. He does pretty well, unless it's time for bed or a nap. We try to avoid being out at those times, but sometimes we can't, because we have a 20+ minute drive to get the mall or Walmart, or pretty much anything else we don't have on base. We try to get all that shopping done at once, so sometimes it does lead to a tired little boy. We offer my baby rewards and punishments when he's out, just like we do at home. He knows that when we tell him he can't have something, he can't have it. End of story. If he throws a fit, he loses something (like extra storytime, and he doesn't get a toy, even if he already has one in the cart, we put it back). If is really good when we are out, he gets a toy or book, or an extra long bath, or something else that he really likes.

I feel that you can't teach a child how to behave out in public if you don't take them out in public. They need to be in as many social settings as possible in order to learn what the social rules are. But, there are some people who just hate kids. Even the most perfect, quiet little angel is a spoiled brat ruining their day. Kids will be kids and its not fair to try to force them to act like mini-adults. I'm not going to stop my kids if they are having harmless fun just because someone else has a problem with it. That's the thing about public, its for EVERYONE.

I take my boys out wherever it is I need to go. I have left places when they have acted up. A couple times of leaving a restaurant in the middle of dinner they have learned I mean business. I don't really think that either one of my boys really took me seriously when I said that I meant it when I said that we would just leave. Now they know I am serious.

I think there is a dearth of subject for discussions. That's why such questions are being raised. Even a normal person can know how a baby or kid or child will behave & their behaviour changes as they grow up.So don't bother about their behaviour. Just make sure the grown ups behave normally. Sometime I feel very pity on some people who don't even know how to behave in stores, shops etc., These kids can behave very nicely than such people.

I have kids too who are 9 years old and 4. They are both boys and i always, bring them to restaurant & mall. Its normal that they dont behave but as they grow and as a mother, i keep telling them to behave so they can be with me, wherever i am. But sometimes,i also punished them, and try to tell that they cant be with me anymore unless they will behave properly.I guess, its the part of their growing and development which parents whould accept and learn too!

If you teach them from a young age, you shouldn't have a problem taking them out in public. I also believe if you say to your child, if you don't behave then you can't have something, then you have to stick to what you have said, otherwise they will know they can get away with it. To teach them how to behave out in public you have to take them out in public.

I guess that I am just a hard taskmaster when it comes to my children. I have been tough on them from the time that they learned how to walk, talk, and all of that developmental stuff. I don't take any grief from my children if I don't have to. No, I am not saying that I beat my children or mistreat them in any way! Very far from it in fact. I just believe that you will get out of your children what you put into them. Say for example that you don't make your child pick up their toys after themselves, you always do it for them. They will never learn that you are not a maid that is there only to pick up after them, and that they really need to be responsible for their own possessions/toys. I realize that their are exceptions to this rule and I do allow for them in my household, but for the most part this is a given. The same thing really applies to anything else in your life and your childs. You have to make up your mind how you want your child to behave and go from there. It is almost always an uphill battle, unless you are blessed with a perfect child that always listens, but you can do it if you really want to. You also need to make up your mind that you WILL NOT leave a store if you child acts up in it. That is just about the worst thing that you can do as a parent in my book. Now you have handed over the reins of power squarely over to your child. Now they know exactly how to get their way in the store if you won't give them what they want. Not good. I have never left a store because my children have behaved badly, but I have in turn embarrassed them just as much as they have embarrassed me. I have on occassion, and this is very rare let me tell you, spanked my child in a public place. The spanking was well deserved, but the looks I got would have killed a lesser determined parent. ;) I just want to conclude with this: I am not a mean parent, I do not mistreat my children, but I also expect them to be well behaved, well mannered little people. They will respect me, their father, their siblings, and any elder/adult that they are around. They know their table manners, and my children also know how to behave at home and in public. To be honest they act the same way at home as they do in public. Most of the time! lol

Kids should not be stopped from going out in public places. They learn from discovering and experiencing things. If they misbehave in public, it should be explained to them that their actions are inappropriate. This is easier said than done because as a parent, it's quite hard to explain to kids when instead of listening they do the improper action even more. But we can just try to divert their attention to something if after explaining to them and they still do not listen, so the misbehaving would stop a little.

erm.. in my opinion, eventhough i don't have a child.. but i do have younger sister.. i wouldn't take them with me if they don't behave themselves... i will ask them to behave or i'll scold them.. i know it's not good doing like this but i just can't take it.. i have to admit i am kind of hot tempered at times.... i will pester them in different ways.. offering them something they like.. or bringing them to someplaces where they will behave.. i won't bring them to high class restaurant to embarass ourselves.. it's not only embarassing, it also disturb other people that is either eating their lunch or dinner.. don't you think so?

If possible, I always bring my kids with me wherever I go. I dont think they will learn to behave by staying inside the house. They need to explore new places and at the same time learn how to behave. Although there are times that kids cannot be controlled especially if with tantrums, it is still understable because they are still kids.

Kids must be treated and taken as they are. They must be brought up coping with the outside world while growing up. I bring my kids out with me all the time regardless of their ages. I make them face and entertain my visitors before I go out myself. This way, they are learning how to cope with other persons around them. Whenever I see them behaving wrongly, I immediately admonish them as kindly as possible. Remember that kids feel ashame if we admonish them harshly in the presence of other people. Then tey retort with bad behavior. We can be strict and harsh only when we are alone with the child in a room. If a young kid drinks wrongly from his glass while eating, tell him that he is doing it wrongly and show him how to do it right. If you hear him say bad words, tell him not to say those words again, then think of the right way to say it. Now, tell him to repeat after you. In the end say, that is how it should be said. Children will grow up coping well with life if we teach them how to do it.

You can train them quite easily if you are consistent. On a day when you have nothing particular to buy or do take them to the mall or a fast food place and see how they behave if they touch things tell them no, if they continue to touch you tell them no, and if you touch once more we will go home. and if they do touch again you turn around and take them home immediately and tell them why. you may have to do this 2 or 3 times for them to get the message you mean no. the same goes if they do not behave in a restaurant, you give them 2 warnings and then you pack up and go home. do not allow them to keep the food you have purchased make it a small thing so the cost is not negligible, but some thing they wouldn't like to loose like a small ice cream cone, You have to show them you mean business and are not talking to hear your self talk. as I said it takes persistence but in less than a month you should have them trained well enough that they will listen to you, and that is what it is all about.

Teach them to behave and they will behave. I think the most important thing is make them understand you mean business. Dont just threaten to take them home or to the car if they are being bad. Take them. If you threaten them and then dont do it they are not going to take you serious. But the fact that you are concerned about this shows it matters to you. Some people just dont care and let their kids run wild in the store and act up in the restraunts. This makes it miserable on everyone. If you teach them when they are young you wont have to worry about it. Be sure and let them know how good they are when you leave to go home too. Kids love praise as much as they love candy. Good Luck

You learn to behave out in public by learning to behave at home. I can take my children out becouse they know there is consequences to thier actions and I stick to them. I have problems with mine becouse they know they will sit at home if they can't.

That is a great question. I want to hear the responses from other mothers/parents out there because sooner or later i'll have to deal with this issue.