Online Dating Questions
April 21, 2007 12:21am CST
I would like to hear some of your stories about meeting and chatting with someone online. Did they seem like the same in person as they did online? I have been talking to a man online and he is trying to get to close way to fast for me, I have chatted with him three times he keeps asking where I work and what is the name of the place that I work? (We live in the same town) I have friends online that I have know for years and they have never asked me that. He seems really nice but isnt this a little pushy? I don't even know what his favorite color is yet? Do you think I am being to cautious? Also please share if you have got married with anyone you have met online I would love to read about it!
21 Apr 07
I have heard wonderful stories of love and committment come of the internet...but for every wonderful story I have heard i have heard 10 times more horror stories, stories of heartbreak, scams,abuse etc...there is no way you can be too cautious on here...there is space, a screen and a world of lies that could be told between you...you can know someone in the real world all your life and still not know them..behind a computer screen can make things that more complicated because we communicate with body language 80% more than we do with words or even the tone of our voice...Be careful, don't tell private information like where you work, or your address, your phone number etc...use good judgment and don't let anyone on here push you in anyway to reveal personal info about you....good luck!!
21 Apr 07
If red flags went up for you then its good that you are thinking about it...I dont know you at all, but I still wouldnt want you to become hurt by someone on here that took advantage of you...trust is earned and online it will take a very long time before that is achieved, if he is nice, if he is on the up and up and truly wants to know you this trust will have to be earned by him over a certain length of time...just be careful...good luck again.. :)
• United States
22 Apr 07
As you know, I'm married so I do not really have any 'dating' experience online but I have talked to alot of men online and even though I'm married, they didn't care and would often pursue me. I know exactly what you mean about some of them 'moving too quickly'. I use to think that if I was single and serious about actually making a connection with some of these guys, they would have blown their shot with their pushy-ness. I think if you are having to question it or are concerned about his need for personal information too soon into the game - then there might be a reason to be cautious. I think you should be honest with him. Tell him that you like what you have gotten to know so far about him but that he's pushing too fast too soon for personal information that you just aren't ready to give out. If he can't understand and take a step back, then he's not the right one anyhow. If he's on the up and up, then he will understand and be willing to give things a bit more time and allow you to reveal the information on your own terms. Honesty is the best answer - tell him exactly what you said, that you don't even know his favorite color and you'd like to know more about him before you start telling him your work address, your bosses name and your drivers license number! I do not envy the whole dating scene but I will say that I think getting to know someone online is a wonderful option. You are able to get to know someone for who they are and not what they look like, it's reversing the way things have always been done. Personally, I think it takes the superficial part of relationships out of the equation. You also know that in the real cases, the person is getting to like you for who you are as well before anything else. The downside of that is people tend to only share their good points online or they tend to make things up or exaggerate because they can. I think I'd need to talk to a person online for many months before I ever agreed to meet them in person. I'd want to be sure their story lines up over the course of many months - then you can tell if they have been lying or whatever. Anyhow, I wish you lots of luck but don't go any faster than YOU want to go. (((♥)))
• United States
22 Apr 07
Thank You So Much for the Reply!! Wow I have a lot to think about!! And I know to trust my instinct and this guy even though he seems super duper is out...Not because I want him to be but because of how he makes me feel he makes me feel bad if I don't answer his questions and why? I cant live that way..