The dating scene confuses me.

Hello,mssnow, if a guy is having the first date with you and ask you to meet for coffee, I am sure he is going to pay for you if he is interested on you,guys want to show his generosity in the first time to give a good first impression to women,but of course you need to bring extra cash in case of emergency as there is no guarantee,may be that guys are money pinching,lol. I think it is the same when you say to a guy 'lets meet for coffee', you have to expect to pay for him even he may pa for you finally. I do not expect a guy to open the doors for me, but I will be glad if he did it, he may be a nice gentleman.

If you do not know this person very well buy your own coffee, if it is a friend then you both share the bill, if it is a date and you did the inviting you should pay as you issued the invitation. at least that is the way I see it may be guys still pick up the coffee tab, but it has been a long time since I was invited out for coffee so may every thing has changed, any how enjoy your self it is just a cup of coffee.

Well my theory is the person who invites you out must pay the bill.But no one is forcing him to do it ..! If necessary then you can pay the bill too. And you "can" expect the other person to open the door for you..but for a little time if he is not the one to do that for you then you can open the doors by yourself there is no harm in expecting things from the other person. So According to me if you are the one who stepped first like asking out..!! then you must take care of the bills cause you were the one who wanted to go out!!lol. Simple have a nice life.

LOL - this is too funny, have you been reading my emails? Friday night I got an email from a gentleman which said he was going to be in my area over the weekend 'lets meet for coffee'... Afraid timing wasn't with us but I am hoping we will be able to in the near future... As far as I'm concerned the dating scene has certainly changed a lot over the years but I have not. I don't 'invite' a man unless I know him very well and then I invite him to my house and will cook dinner. As for going out - he will do the inviting and will pay. I'm just old fashioned that way. If for some reason he didn't pay (or open the doors) I would not go out with him again. That's the way my mother raised me. It may sound snobby but I am a lady and expect to be treated like one. I also only associate with gentlemen and they behave like gentlemen.

When I was dating I have always brought my money just in case if the guy don't pay or if I didn't like the guy I make a phone call for someone to pick me up I always like a guy to open the doors for me.

When my boyfriend and I first started dating, I always made sure I had money on me. When we went for dinner I offered to pay half or for the meal. I really liked to be independent. Although my boyfriend did end up paying for all the meals, he would just never let me pay for anything. He opened doors for me then too, even the car door, it was so sweet. That has sure passed though, I don't get that anymore..lol

It would be a good idea to have money with you just in case. If he specifies that this is a date and he's the one doing the asking, then it would be only right for him to pay for the coffee. Opening the door for a lady is never out of style. - For the person who doesn't get the car door opened for her any more - try sitting there until he comes and opens it for you. If you wait a few seconds he probably will get the hint.

let's meet for coffee is not necessarily a date, that is casual and I would say bring your own money if he wants to pay for you he will pick up the tab. If it really is a date he will say so and then he pays, if it is a date but he doesn't want to pay up front he will say or should say let's go dutch, meaning you both pay for your own food, or coffee. no you should not expect a man to open the door for you, some men will and that is nice but not the way of this generation anymore.

I know I havent been in the dateing scene in over a decade but here's my opinion. I dont know if I would consider meeting for coffee a date but I would never allow the girl to pay for her meal or coffee or whatever and I also would never let her open her own doors. I guess I'm just a bit old fashioned but thats the way I was raised. Take care!!

Personally I wouldn't let any girl pay for my coffee as much as possible. If she did the inviting maybe we can pay equally. I think a guy should always open doors for women.

Well I'm kind of old school. If it's a date, or a romantic interlude of some sort, the guy should pay. If you two are going out purely as friends, then you pay for yourselves. I will open the door for ANY girl nearby if I'm at the door. I don't care if it's my wife, my friend, or a complete stranger. Men should hold doors for women. It's such a simple way to show you're a gentleman. In this day and age, things can be different. I've known girls who REFUSED to walk through a door if a man was holding it for her. I've known girls who REFUSED to let a man pay for their bill. Some girls would DEMAND that the bill be split 50/50 so they can say they don't owe the guy anything. On the other side some guys have no concept of what it means to be a gentleman. Some guys are never taught that they should open a door for a woman, or that they should pay for a woman's drink or meal on a date. I just say, be yourself and do what you feel is right. I feel it's right for me to open doors and pay for meals on dates. That's me and I'm not going to change even if some girl thinks it's chauvenistic for me to hold the door open.

I agree the dating scene is getting more confusing every year it seems. I think that a lot of men have deicded that since women wanted freedom in other aspects of life that they would just give them the most freedom in dating and there for stopped paying for things and stopped being gentlemen. which really sucks and doesn't make me feel special at all. I think when i go out on a date or out somewhere with a guy i want him to pay for things. After all he should at least i think he should unless its already agreed that you both will be paying.

If i am in your shoe, i will expect the guy to pay for the coffee since he initiated the idea of meeting up for coffee. But since if he just kept quiet when it comes to paying for the bill i would just pay for my share on my coffee..After all it is just a coffee and enjoy the quality time of the meeting and getting to know each other

If i am in your shoe, i will expect the guy to pay for the coffee since he initiated the idea of meetong up for coffee. But since if he just kept quiet when it comes to paying for the bill i would just pay for my share on my coffee..After all it is just a coffee and enjoy the quality time of the meeting and getting to know each other

This is how I see it. Unles someone says otherwise, assume you're each paying for your own. As for the door, whoever gets there FIRST opens it and holds it for the person behind them. Car doors? I just get out of the car as soon as it stops! LOL

Join the club. I am a guy and haven't a clue as to what the new standards are. Maybe it is something that needs to be talked about before two poeple go out together. Anytime I go out with a woman, I would expect to pay for everything. I would also open doors and be courteous to my date. This is not etched in stone if my date demands to be treated some other way. I first dated in the late 60's and it is a whole different thing nowadays. I know I am not answering your question. I think I would find a woman who likes to have me pay her way and open doors for her. Are there any of those still around? What do you like to do? Maybe you could find a guy (if you are looking) that treats you how you want to be treated and not according to current customs. I would think that there is always a possibility of finding exactly what you are looking for.

When me and my present boyfriend started dating, I was trying to pay for myself, but he was unhappy with this;) I'm independent person and it was obvious for me to pay for my own drink, meal or cinema ticket. But when I realized, that he is real gentelman, and it is important for him to pay when he invites me somwhere, I let him to do it. But not everytime, sometimes I pay for myslef, just to not have the feeling that I exploit him;) I told him that it's important for me to pay from time to time, we both don't like quarrels, so we have a compromise:) He always opens a door for me, and it's sweet, but I think it's not so important. I have never expected a guy to open a door for me. I think it's good to take extra money with you when you go to a date. If a boy invited you than you could expect that he is going to pay for you, but you can't be sure.

Well if i asks any girl for a date with me then i will pay the bill what ever amount it is. I wont mind paying the bill even that is my first date with that person. To me dating is almost like meeting a good friend, so i don't mind who ever pays the bill most often i pay the bill. If the other person insists on me then i will let them pay the bill.

i actually prefer taking turns. but only one person for each bill. If we go to the movies, you buy the tickets, I'll buy the popcorn. We go out to dinner, you pay one week, I'll pay the next. I find that it works out quite evenly in the long run, and there is no tacky trying to split each bill down the middle...yours was $6.95, mine was $5.25...+tax and tip, so you owe me.... Its also a great way to ask for a second date if you like them..."no, I got the coffee, you get dinner friday night"