Not a good wife.

United States
April 21, 2007 8:51pm CST
What do you do when your husband tells you that you're no longer a good wife? Is it your fault or does he have too many expectations? Tell me what you think.
3 people like this
11 responses
@mrsbrian (1951)
• United States
22 Apr 07
Well i know what I would tell him but im not allowed to use that language here in Mylot. You didnt say what makes him say that to you so i cant really answer you on who is at fault. Are you doing or not doing anything different than you were before? I think many you could sit down with him and have a heart to heart discussion to see what the real problem is.
@amydawn11 (906)
• Canada
22 Apr 07
Well I think that you take into consideration what was going on when he said it. my boyfriend told me i was a lousy girlfriend a few weeks ago, i was extremely upset, we talked about the other day and I do believe that he said it just to hurt me. we were fighting athe time and I said so not so nice things also. If your husband is saying that and really meaning it then you should consider if you want to live with someone who thinks this way about you. No one is perfect.
1 person likes this
@carolscash (9500)
• United States
25 Apr 07
If my husband told me that, then I would tell him to go find someone else to take care of him, do his laundry,cook his meals,etc. He would be out the door before he could blik his eye. I would never let a man make me feel that I wasn't worthy of being his wife. My self esteem is that I know I can make it on my own and I know that I am a good wife, mother, and that I do a good job at work so I wouldn't take that from him or anyone else.
• United States
23 Apr 07
Our ten year anniversary is in June (2007)... and I can say that in the whole ten years those words have never come out of his mouth. And he has never dared to say I wasn't a good mom. Now... I have been called just about everything else including a snide remark about "when's that dr's appt baby... I can't wait for you to get on some meds!!" I think I quit talking for a week... during which time he realized he liked me better "crazy". (no offense to anyone.. that is a term my husband uses very loosly whenever he doesn't understand why I do something, which is pretty often). Whenever things get tense between us I try to ask him specifically what it is he wants ( a little bit like what I have to do with the kids). He rarely appears upset over what is really bothering him. I might have to dig a little (not push!) to get a real answer but it eventually comes around. Sometimes I think I'm not being a good wife and I convince myself that he feels the same way, even if he's hasn't said a word about it. I find my expectations are high for both of us and a lot of what I think he feels is really stuff in my own head because I don't think we're up to par. Communication is the key here.... talk talk talk... and you're doing your part, and it's still not good enough, then pray.
@rodeotexas (1154)
• United States
23 Apr 07
If you haven't changed what you were doing before and he has raised his expectations then it is his fault. Now if you have changed in ways by not keeping the house clean the same way or not cooking, etc then it is partly your fauly.
• United States
23 Apr 07
I think it depends on what the situation is behind it. If you are slacking in helpin keep the house cleaned, meeting his personal needs and more than yes its your fault. On the other hand if you haven't changed but he is expecting more out of you then he has too many expectations. This is really a hard one to answer cause I'm not sure the situation behind it.
@Ravenladyj (22936)
• United States
23 Apr 07
If my husband EVER had the nerve to tell me I'm no longer a good wife I'd tell him to get a lawyer, pack his bags and get the hell out of my damn house until I can make moving arrangements for mysefl and my kids....i have no desire to be with someone who doesnt want to be wiht me and/or doesnt appreciate me etc etc...If i'm no longer a "good wife" its time to call it a day and be on my way... Who's fault is it? I guess for me it wouldnt really matter....who's at fault isnt whats important, whats important as far as I'm concerned is the fact that he's no longer happy so why waste any more time ya know...
• India
23 Apr 07
actually my husband would never say like that.... if at all he says then i will improve myself,or make him get attracted towrds me...
• Indonesia
23 Apr 07
I think in a family, we must understand each to other. understand about weakness and goodness of our couple. if there are something wrong in our family, we must discuss it, not to appoint other is wrong.
• United States
22 Apr 07
This has never happend to me, but if it were to happen, I'd be upset. I really don't know how to answer this one.
@soccermom (3200)
• United States
22 Apr 07
How funny I run across this discussion while my husband is acting like a total weinie over something stupid. If your husband doesn't think you are a good wife maybe it is because he is acting like a less than desireable husband. I am so mad at my hubby at this monent that if my kids weren't here I think I'd smack him! He's slowly turning into a control freak, and refuses to see it. My oldest daughter is having a sleepover and the girl brought movies, I looked at them, had seen them before and didn't think it was a big deal if she watched them. He looked at them, saw the rating and flew off the handle, because I didn't tell him I gave her permission to see them and I should have to clear it with him. LIKE HELL! I'm a grown a** woman, I'll be dam*ned if I'll clear anything as minor as that with him. He is giving me this huge rant, and my answer to him is if he can do better the door is 10 feet away, don't let it hit you in the butt on the way out. Don't put up with any garbage from any man.