EEEWWW! That smell! Can you smell that smell???

United States
April 22, 2007 1:56am CST
She spent the first day packing her belongings into boxes, crates and suitcases. On the second day, she had the movers come and collect her things. On the third day, she sat down for the last time at their beautiful dining room table by candle-light, put on some soft background music, and feasted on a pound of shrimp, a jar of caviar, and a bottle of spring-water. When she had finished, she went into each and every room and deposited a few half-eaten shrimp shells dipped in caviar into the hollow of the curtain rods. She then cleaned up the kitchen and left. When the husband returned with his new girlfriend, all was bliss for the first few days. Then slowly, the house began to smell. They tried everything; cleaning, mopping and airing the place out. Vents were checked for dead rodents and carpets were steam cleaned. Air fresheners were hung everywhere. Exterminators were brought in to set off gas canisters, during which they had to move out for a few days and in the end they even paid to replace the expensive wool carpeting. Nothing worked. People stopped coming over to visit. Repairmen refused to work in the house. The maid quit. Finally, they could not take the stench any longer and decided to move. A month later, even though they had cut their price in half, they could not find a buyer for their stinky house. Word got out and eventually even the local realtors refused to return their calls. Finally, they had to borrow a huge sum of money from the bank to purchase a new place. The ex-wife called the man and asked how things were going. He told her the saga of the rotting house. She listened politely and said that she missed her old home terribly and would be willing to reduce her divorce settlement in exchange for getting the house back. Knowing his ex-wife had no idea how bad the smell was, he agreed on a price that was about 1/10th of what the house had been worth, but only if she were to sign the papers that very day. She agreed and within the hour his lawyers delivered the paperwork. A week later the man and his girlfriend stood smiling as they watched the moving company pack everything to take to their new home......... And to spite the ex-wife, they even took the the curtain rods!!!!!! I LOVE A HAPPY ENDING, DON'T YOU?
3 people like this
5 responses
@pinklilly (3443)
• Australia
22 Apr 07
hahahahaha That is a pisser.... What an Idea I think That is great... You've put a smile from ear to ear on my face... hahahaha
2 people like this
• United States
22 Apr 07
I'm glad you enjoyed it. I'm still smiling, lol. Gotta love revenge :D
1 person likes this
@waynet (2649)
22 Apr 07
Thats nice. happy endings are the best!!
1 person likes this
• United States
22 Apr 07
Don't be sticking poo in the curtain rods, Wayne...
1 person likes this
@waynet (2649)
24 Apr 07
Now there's a thought....?
1 person likes this
• United States
27 Apr 07
Tis no wonder the missus tends to be in a shtty mood...
• United States
23 Apr 07
This is one case if revenge being sweet. Also, they got what they deserved in spiting the ex-wife. I guess the ending would be that the jilted ex-wife lived happily ever after while the ex-husband & new wife had one heck of a stinky ending?
1 person likes this
• United States
27 Apr 07
That's the ending I'd like to believe in, lol.
@Thoroughrob (11742)
• United States
23 Apr 07
That was a good one. They'll wonder what that smell is that is following them. I hope they never find out!! It is so funny!!
1 person likes this
• United States
27 Apr 07
I'm diggin' it. hahaha Rotten shrimp--never would have thought of that!
@melanie652 (2524)
• United States
23 Apr 07
That was pretty funny! I missed the line about the shrimp in the curtain rods the first time. I had to go back and re-read it. Then I got it! Thanks for the laugh!
• United States
27 Apr 07
Glad you liked it :) I still laugh when I read it again. Cruel & cunning--good for her! hahahaha