What do you do if a friend flips out at you in front of others?
By patgalca
@patgalca (18181)
Orangeville, Ontario
April 23, 2007 7:23pm CST
I have a very good friend who is, shall we say, very enthusiastic. She was telling a story and she used the wrong word to describe something. I corrected her and she thanked me. Inside me the word she used reminded me of something from "Thank God You're Here" last week so I giggled. Suddenly she just stopped and turned to me and blasted me for laughing at her, that she fell on her head as a kid and has a learning disability and didn't appreciate me laughing at her. She didn't exactly say this in the kindest manner. I did tell her I wasn't laughing at her, that I was remembering this moment. There were two other people at the table. Neither one of them said a word.
What would you have done? Personally I was embarrassed and even pissed off at her for flipping out at me, especially in a public place (coffee shop) and in the company of other friends. I calmly explained myself and then shut up. I really didn't feel like talking anymore. I have been known for my sense of humour and this friend appreciates it, as do all my friends. I make people laugh. So I giggled to myself and she freaked. I know you're probably thinking she was PMS'ing or something. I would think that too if she wasn't past all that.
She apologized, hugged me, kissed me, told me she loved me and everything as we got up to leave. But I was still hurt by her outburst. I'm surprised she didn't use her "I'm Irish" excuse for her temper like she usually does.
I have been thinking a lot about this because I have been known to let my temper fly in front of my husband's friends, but they are not MY friends. I would not treat a friend of mine like that and I did exactly as I would have done with any friend - gave a brief explanation as to what I was REALLY laughing at and then stopped talking.
What about you? How would you have reacted in either position? If you were the yeller or the yelled at? Would you flip out at a friend like that in public in front of other people? How would you handle it if your friend did that to you?
2 people like this
9 responses
@pamilicious (265)
• Malaysia
24 Apr 07
i would be embarrassed too if a friend suddenly flips out at me infront of other people. i would have a private conversation with her and tell how how i feel. tell her that her actions hurt me, embarrassed me and hopefully she will not do it again in the future. ive been thru this one time, but she didnt flip out on me. she spread nasty, untrue rumours about me. i confronted her and she said she just wants to get even with me.. i was just joking and i thought she knew after all these times of being friends. we're not really talking now..its just sad when people put on a wall towards their friends, not letting them in just because one silly joke that they misinterpreted as a nasty remark.
3 people like this
@juicemilk (2283)
• Australia
24 Apr 07
If I was the one who thought you were laughing at me, I probably would've asked if you were (but in a kinda joking way) and just accepted your answer. I don't like to lose my temper in front of my friends, and I would never 'tell someone off' like that in front of other people. It's embarrassing for both parties!
if I was the one being yelled at..not sure, I would either get upset or just get mad right back and tell them to settle down, and to not take everything so personally. I think I might have even left! I hate people being rude to me :)
2 people like this
@Stiletto (4579)
•
24 Apr 07
It sounds like you handled it pretty well. If it had been me in your position I would probably have started back at her and the whole situation would have degenerated into a riot! I am quite hot-tempered but I think there's a time and a place for everything and "in public view" is not normally the right time or place. If she had a problem with your actions she should have waited until you were alone together. I'm not saying that I've never flipped out at a friend or partner in public but that was more when I was younger. I'm much better at controlling myself nowadays!
1 person likes this
@fellowlife (988)
• Nigeria
24 Apr 07
I wouldn't have yelled at you cause its not a nice thing to do. I would have told you in an hush voice that i didnt like what you did and not shout you down in public. well if i were to be the person yelled at, i wouldn't say anyhthing but i would excuse myself and leave the scene.
On the run, i think its not nice to yell at someone at all talkless of in public or in full glare of friends.Its not nice
2 people like this
@Denmarkguy (1845)
• United States
24 Apr 07
Having been in two long-term relationships with people with... uhmmm... "short fuses," I am fairly used to someone with "loose cannon syndrome" coming unravelled at me for seemingly insignificant "infractions."
It still bothers me a little, and I guess I have learned to somewhat "edit myself" around certain people I know to be prone to unpredictable explosions. Of course, ot didn't really sounds like you had any warning... I suppose some people are just overly sensitive about what they may or may not?) perceive to be their weaknesses. And if you point anything out, or even seem like you "noticed," heads might roll.
It's fairly easy for me to deal with situations like this, because I have an abnormally LONG "fuse," or as some people tell me-- everything seems to roll off me like water off a duck's back. In situations like you faced, I try to engage the person in a dialogue (almost always later on) about what happened. Of course, not everyone wants to TALK about such things.
@yojspew (171)
• Philippines
24 Apr 07
I will also be embarrassed if I were in your place.
I think you handled the situation properly. Even though she was rude you still manage to take hold of your temper ans manners.
I suggest you to have a one on one talk with your friend. Tell her everything that you feel about her attitude and the way she treats other people. Maybe she's not aware that she's hurting other people.
1 person likes this
@SandStroM (139)
• India
24 Apr 07
Hi there .... I think the girl you are talking about is wierd ... may be she didn't like someone teaching her/ interrupting her when she was talking, you could have told her your point some time later when she was then ... may then thid wouldn't have happened ... Anyways i too think it wasn't kind gesture from your friend as she lost her temper and yelled out at you ... you better be careful of this GIRL !!
@stefan_diego (556)
• Canada
24 Apr 07
Your friend was too early to judge you like that. She could've simply asked what did you find so funny about what she said. Instead she became irate too fast. She should've given you the benefit of the doubt. Everything you did was right. You managed to be the civil one & explain yourself (which shows you're a true friend). But showing your friend what kind of a person you are, I don't think she'll ever do it again.
@BarBaraPrz (45498)
• St. Catharines, Ontario
24 Apr 07
I think you handled the situation well. If she has a brain injury, then that could be why she reacted the way she did. The other people at the table were probably embarassed and didn't know what to say, so said nothing.
1 person likes this
