Have you ever been stressed to get married by your family, friens or society?

marriage a reason of stress? - marriage is your choice
@Augustta (1860)
Poland
April 24, 2007 3:46am CST
Well, you should never live your life to please other people. You should find your own identity and directions of where you would like to take your life. No one is forcing you to do something that you are not willing or ready for. If you entire life is consume by full filling other wishes, than you will have a difficult time of finding happiness. Now my question is,have you ever been stressed to get married in a way or another?...
8 people like this
13 responses
@gabs8513 (48710)
• United Kingdom
25 Apr 07
Yes Sweetie I have that is why ended up in the mess of a Marriage for 21 years I was a very frightened Person who never stood up for herself I had changed my mind about the Marriage but my Mum and some others kept telling me to stop being stupid In the End the pressure got to much and I married
2 people like this
@maryannemax (12168)
• Sweden
26 Apr 07
that is sad gabs. sorry to hear about that. you are a sweet person and you deserve to be happy. but i guess with your loving kids, you can say, it's worth it. or am i wrong?
3 people like this
@gabs8513 (48710)
• United Kingdom
26 Apr 07
Maryanne like Augustta said you are not wrong I would do it all over again just to have my 2 Kids they helped me through it without knowing
@maryannemax (12168)
• Sweden
26 Apr 07
there was a time in my life when most of my friends are already married and i still wasn't. my boyfriend proposed many times for me to marry him already. i thought about it many times. there was a point when i almost said "yes" to the proposal when i thought that my friends had already started their own family. but i paused and thought... "am i really ready for it? can i already be a wife and a mother?" and the answer was "no". i wasn't ready to start my own family yet. and so, i declined the marriage proposal. actually, this happened to me thrice from three exes of mine. marriage isn't just like a bubble gum wherein after you sipped in the sweetness of it and you no longer want to chew it, you will just have to spit it out. marriage isn't like that. marriage is something for a couple to be prepared of. and if possible, to be taken forever under the power of love. about my family, sometimes, my parents are already asking for a grandchild since i am the eldest and they still don't have any grandchild. we just look at each other and laugh about it. surely, the right time will come to the right people. and my time has finally come. my heart already find the man i will love forever... and soon a family of my own... which i chose for myself and noone ever forced me into. good morning from the philippines!
2 people like this
@Augustta (1860)
• Poland
26 Apr 07
very well said!!! augusta
1 person likes this
• United States
26 Apr 07
When I was a teenager, my mother practically hid me from the world. Hehe. She was so strict that I had my very first boyfriend during my 20's. I remembered when I turned 28, my mom would tell me to find someone that I would eventually get married to. She would even ask other relatives to match me with their friends' sons! When I got to my early 30's, my mom started to get frantic. She was so worried that nobody got married yet among her daughters. When my younger sister got married last year at the age of 36, she was expecting me to follow suit. Now at 39, with all the pressure from my mom that I got used to, I feel less stressed. Perhaps I have passed the stage of looking for someone. I'm just fine being single. It's actually fun!
@Augustta (1860)
• Poland
26 Apr 07
lol,your mom make me smile... but if you feel goon so,my friend..is your choice and i respect your opinion... augusta
1 person likes this
@crackhead (1826)
• India
26 Apr 07
Well i am not yet married, but for the few months my mom and dad are asking me to get married. I don't exactly mean to say that they are forcing me but they are more concerned about my life ahead. Since i am 27 now they are worried that i may get late and grow old by the time i get married. I don't mind fulfilling my parents wishes cause they are the one who gave me this life. Its my pleasure to serve them and fulfill their wish. We are bound to some one throughout our life and i don't consider that as a burden fulfilling their wishes.
2 people like this
• India
25 Apr 07
Fortunately, I haven't been. Also, I am single. But my best friend has been. He loved a Hindu girl and he is Muslim. She was ready to convert to Muslim but his family wasn't ready to accept a Hindu girl. Finally he had to give in and get engaged to a Muslim girl of his parent's choice. I don't feel its right for somebody else to choose a person to get married to for someone.
• Philippines
25 Apr 07
Hi Augustta. Countless times I've been asked and prodded to get married but no no way. I haven't lived my life to the fullest as I see fit. I just give them a bland smile and joke that Mr. Perfect should be coming any day now. I'm waiting patiently and they should too.
@sigma77 (5385)
• United States
24 Apr 07
No, I have never been pressured to get married. Every time it has been my own choice. You are right that by fulfilling the wishes of others you sacrifice your happiness. It is nice to help others when you can, but allowing their wishes to control your life is not productive. I know in some cultures, this is acceptable where the family chooses the marriage partner. I don't understand that practice, but maybe it works more times than not.
@Nardz13 (5057)
• New Zealand
24 Apr 07
Hey augustta, Im one of those strong minded types, that will never let anyone influence the decisions I make in my life. I definetly dont live my life to please anyone either, because if i did, I would never know what it was like to practically live life on my own and to make my own decisions without, asking for the go ahead and the ok from others. Stuff that huh lol...
@easy888 (10405)
• Australia
24 Apr 07
Hello,augustta, I had never been stressed by my parents about marriage, if I am happy to be single, they will be happy, they will not force me to get marry , they may ask me to do it when i want it and the right guy has appeared. My friends treat me nice and have never press me to do somthing I do not want to,and I have never been stressed by the society as I think I am independent and do no need to follow what other people do .
@muscare (3068)
• Australia
24 Apr 07
No, you should not live your life to please others, because the key phrase is 'your life'. It's not 'their' life, so maybe they should butt out. I was 30ish when I got married, so I had my fair share of questions, especially when all my friends were getting married younger. My answer was always ' when I find the right girl'. Now I often wonder if they are all as happy as I am now. True love can't be rushed!
@liranlgo (5748)
• Israel
26 Apr 07
I am glad you opened this post, it looks like you opened it especially for me. Lol. I have been stressed to get married by my family from when i was 22 years of age, and now i am 34 years old, not married, and you can only imagine what is going on here. My family tells me that would do anything for me, if i would get married. They say they do not understand why i did not agree to get married when i was offered. I did get three marriage proposals but i did not feel that it was the right time for me and did not think that the people that offered me to get married were the people that i really want to get married to, and spend my whole life with. so yes there is a lot of pressure here. Yesterday i started a new job, and one of the first questions that i was being asked was how old i am and am i married. yes, Israeli people are very open when it comes to questions. Lol. so i told them i was not married. Do you know what they answered me. They told me that this can not be. They said that their target now is to find me a good guy and to get me married. I tried telling them that it is OK, and i can mange to find a person for myself, but they insist that they will do it. So. Yes. There is a lot of social pressure here too. Most of my friends do not pressure me. I guess that main reason is that i lived in a big city for 14 years and it was very common to live with a person, or to be unmarried till you feel it is the right time. Just 2 months ago i returned to this small city, and everybody here is married so they do look at me like i am a freak. But to tell you the truth, it never mattered to me, i always knew what was good for me, and i guess i was not ready at different stages of my life. Just now, i started to feel that i do want to get settled down, so as you can read no matter how much society and parents are pressuring me, i always do what i feel is right for me, at my own paste.
@liranlgo (5748)
• Israel
26 Apr 07
Thank you for this BR:))
@subha12 (18450)
• India
26 Apr 07
i have to admit,yes. but not regarding the person i sud marry. its for me to get married. I am very strict in my view. I think i sud only marry when i think i sud be and there is the right person. just to please all u can't put yuor life on a thread.
• Canada
26 Apr 07
Yeah, people ask me all the time when I am going to get married. I simply tell them that it'll happen when I find the right guy. The funny thing is that I have found the right guy, but if I tell them, they'll complain about the age difference, and his divorces or something silly like that. They just can't make up their minds. I'm going to do what I want to do, and the rest of the world can go climb a tree.