Bribes and rewards

@kaevielf (246)
China
April 24, 2007 9:28pm CST
I often find myself bribing our daughter with special treats so she'll do what I say. But I have the feeling that I'm not doing the right thing. As a parent, I want my kid to do what's right not because she is told to or because she expects a reward, but because she has developed inner control and good values. What should I do to make my child like that?
3 responses
• United States
25 Apr 07
I usually use the bribe and reward thing with potty training. But when picking up her toys, help me clean up her room or not making that much mess, then I will praise her for a job well done. I am not saying that I follow this a 100% because there are times that I have to bribe her a candy to make things easier, like if we are in a hurry and she doesn't feel like going into her car seat or dressing up, so cases like this, the bribe thing always work.
@kaevielf (246)
• China
25 Apr 07
I do the same thing,ladymoonstone143. But about the bribe thing, my mom said to me that not because it works doesn't make it right. She is completely against bribery. She said rather than eliciting good future behavior, it encourages my child to say "no" next time so that I will offer her a treat again in return for compliance. So in addition, she suggested, if I'm going to give a reward anyway (which I should not do routinely), offer it before my child has refused to comply. What do you think? Thanks again, my friend! See you around.
• United States
25 Apr 07
I would say that you should slowly take the reward away and replace it with praise. My kids love to call daddy at work and tell him what a good job they did. We even have a list of people how can typicaily talk during the day. They just love to brag on themself.
1 person likes this
@kaevielf (246)
• China
25 Apr 07
Reward with praise, that's a great idea. I'll keep that in mind! Thanks,floramwaters!
@rapolu_cs (1184)
• India
25 Apr 07
Bribing is not good always and in some cases it doesnot work and they g on demanding for the more we give him and this may become difficult for them to deide what is good and bad for them by themselves in their future.Giving reward if they are reserved to encourage them is good .Yu always keep her do things by herselves and encourage her by praising her all the time and by guiding her how to do in a well and perfect manner and giving her gifts may work good.