Uneasy about childcare for my daughter while I'm in the hospital having #2

United States
April 25, 2007 9:33am CST
I'm going to be having my second child May 22nd which leaves my 16 month old with my Aunt so my husband can help me with the new baby in the hospital. I'll be in the hospital for 3 days becaus I'm having a c-section. My Aunt is coming to stay at our house to watch my daughter. I love my Aunt, and my daughter loves her too, and she has really good intentions, but she's not very maternal. She never had her own children - in fact she never even married. Last night she was "watching" my daugher while my husband and I were making dinner and when he walked into the room he could tell my daugher had something in her mouth. He went over to her and it was a little baggie with a button and thread in it (you get them with new clothes) that must have fallen off of a new outfit my Aunt brought over (she loves to shop). My Aunt was talking to my dad and neither of them were paying any attention to my daughter. I tried bringing it up subtly and she just said "oh - I didn't even see her put that in her mouth". Well- that's the point!!!!! What should I do, I really want to have peace of mind that my daughter is being supervised (I don't question the love) and cared for while I'm in the hospital and right now I'm ready to hire a professional Nanny!!!
3 responses
@Gemmygirl1 (2870)
• Australia
26 Apr 07
I'm just wondering why your husband cant take care of your daughter? You will do most things yourself in the hospital anyway & you don't wanna just leave your daughter without a parent & then pop up with a new baby! I'd recommend your hubby takes care of your daughter or maybe one of her grand parents - at least you know they've had kids already! It is a hard thing to think about coz when we have our 2nd, my partner will take a few days off to care for our 1st daughter while i'm in the hospital. I'd like her to be with us & bonding with her sibling as soon as possible. I haven't even worked up the courage to leave my daughter with anyone yet so i don't think that will change when our 2nd one comes, i just like to know she's close by & none of my family lives close. Good luck with that but i wouldn't recommend leaving your daughter with someone who has never had kids - especially one who doesn't pay enough attention to what the child is doing!
• United States
26 Apr 07
When I had my daughter I heavily relied on my husband to help out in the hospital because I had a c-section. Having a nurse do it just isn't the same. The first night I wasn't even allowed to stand up because I was still paralysed from the waiste down. I'll be having another C-section with this one. It is possible that he will go home to be with our daughter the second night (especially to help her with the adjustment since he puts her to bed every night now and that's part of the normal routine). I just don't know what to expect. With my daughter I didn't want my husband to leave my side - I was pretty emotional and he was so supportive and helpful. This time it could be different, especially considering the circumstances. I don't think my Aunt's decision not to have children is the issue. There are others who have never had children that I would be very comfortable leaving my daugher with (like my sister, unfortunatley she lives far away) - it's just her personality (nonmaternal). I have arranged for some folks who are a little more qualified to help out but my Aunt will be with my daughter the whole time. This will offer some stability for my daughter (instead of being shuffled around) but between my husband and inlaws there will almost always be someone else around. Thanks for your input! I have faith that God will protect my little hunny and give my husband and I a nice bonding experience with the new baby.
@mflower2053 (3227)
• United States
25 Apr 07
I know exactly what you are going through and I'm sorry you have to. This was stressing me out so much. My husbands mother was going to watch her but I wasn't too happy about that. She doesn't tell my daughter no when she calls her mommy and once she watched her for a day and my daughter acted like she didn't know who I was. I don't think it would of been a good thing for her to watch her for 3 days. I talked to my mom about it and she is now taking off to watch her. My mom worries me about the things she does but I guess I'm ok. The only thing is the world changed so much since I was little that people need to understand they have to watch people more now a days. I have trust issues with alot of people and thats why I'm a stay at home mom. I wish I could help you out. Will your aunt be bringing your daughter to the hospital at all?
• United States
26 Apr 07
Yes, my Aunt (the bad driver) will be bringing her to the hospital daily to visit. I know, I sound so negative and I don't mean to. I should be thankful I have someone who loves her to watch her. Believe me, when she brings her to the hospital I'll be checking her pulse and blood pressure to make sure she's okay!! LOL I think we both need to chill so we can enjoy our time with our hubbys and our new babys. If you promise, I will too! I'm so glad there are others out there who understand!
1 person likes this
• United States
25 Apr 07
Your daughters saftey is the most important thing. You may hurt her feelings but you will never forgive yourself if your daughter gets hurt under your aunt's supervision after you predicted it. Let her stay there still just make sure you have someone else that can come over and "help" that you can completly rely on. You have enough to worry about with having your new baby. Ease your mind. I hope and Pray that everything works out well.