My Day to VENT AGAIN!!!!!
By smiley20903
@smiley20903 (495)
United States
April 25, 2007 10:10am CST
This is my vent for today....I am so tired of people using me and then saying hay, I don't need you anymore. I am tired of my bad relationship that I am having with my child's father..Who wants me to play house but not want to commit. I am tired of helping everybody under the when they call me only to have them turn there backs...I am simply tired...Tired, Tired and Tired.....The only time people call me is when they need something or they are in a financial jam...No comes to my house to visit me..It like I damn near have to beg and plead for attention from my own family....Not my parents, not my sisters or anyone that I know that lives within a few minutes of me. Yet I make it a point to visit everyone else. Most of the time I wish I can lose myself but thanks to GOD he and my son are all I need.. ....What's funny to me is that when I was in the hospital a month ago and had an operation none of my family..not my mom,dad, younger sisters, or older brother came to see how I was doing after I had surgury..I felt completly alone like no one gave care.. but my boss came to see me, my older sister, my son, and boyfriend who came for only a few minutes 3 days out of the 7 I was there. I am in a profession where I deal people daily and feel more comfortable with people I don't know... and feel that those who I know and love always let me down the most especially when I need them..I feel like cursing and screaming at the top of my lungs or moving out of the country to get away...but then won't do me any good...because I am not that type of person...I am just venting because this is what is on my mind right now because rather then verbally talk about to myself I prefer to type it out.......
2 people like this
3 responses
@ElusiveButterfly (45939)
• United States
25 Apr 07
Sounds familiar. There was a time when I did everything for anybody. I was so busy with everyone elses needs that I forgot about my own. Eventually I stopped this practice. I learned a new word, it was "no". People were shocked. But, those that only visited or called when they needed something, stopped. I have a few close friends and family members who come to visit or we doing things together. But, I have many that don't bother. They don't call, visit, or seem to care. They put on that fake smile when you see them and promise to visit, call or get together. They never do. I could swallow my pride and pick up the phone and be the one to initiate the visit, but that is what I did for years. Time to think about me. Huggers to you my friend.
1 person likes this
@ElusiveButterfly (45939)
• United States
25 Apr 07
It was one of the hardest words for me to begin using. But, in the end I felt better. I occasionally do say yes, but I have to take time to think about how saying yes will effect me personally. Will I be giving up precious free time that I would spend with my family, myself, my husband?
@smiley20903 (495)
• United States
25 Apr 07
Thanks ElusiveButterfly..I know what you mean...But in my spirit I just feel that there is always a need to help someone when they ask....Or at least those are the teachings I learn in church...I just haven't figured out how to say "no" mean it, do it, and not worry about wether or not someone will be ok or not. Hugs back u 2...I am going to have to add "NO" on my wall as a daily reminder to use the world more often....remember in school the catchy phrase "JUST SAY NO"
2 people like this
@MagdalenaM (681)
• United States
25 Apr 07
Heyyyyyyyyyyy smiley - I am so sorry to read what you are going through, as I am sure it is hard and very painful.
Did you ever sit down and talk to your family how you feel?? The reason I am asking this is because of what you wrote and I quote ' you are more comfortable with people you don't know' - may be your family thinks/feels you are cold even if you are there when they need you...may be they think you like to be by yourself-
I think you should talk to them and tell them that they are hurting you with their behavior and that you want them to act like family as you do when they are in need - at least with feelings.
Yes...sometimes one does feel frustrated and you do feel like shouting at the top of your lungs - I have been frustrated like that many times even tho it was not due to my family.
I wish things turn around for you and if they don't learn to love yourself and make friends that are there for you at least emotionally - we all need those friends from time to time.
Best wishes,
Magdalena
1 person likes this
@smiley20903 (495)
• United States
25 Apr 07
I love my family very much...I go to extra lenghtens for them..I would visit them 2-3 times a week, I would take them to lunch and dinner and pick up the bill, you name and I do it..I even went to Delaware with my parents and invested a lot of time on helping them want to buy a house...maybe I am going threw a middle child phase or something...and whenever they call I drop everything I am doing to see how I can help. I have not brought the issue up with them because I wouldn't know what to say..I get very nervous and more or less lose thought of want I need to say....I love myself 100% as well....I wouldn't be me if I didn't...:)..And as for friends I really don't have to many of those because I work and take care of my son...by the end of the day I'll be ok..I probably just need to regroup....
1 person likes this
@MagdalenaM (681)
• United States
25 Apr 07
Good Luck smiley ... seems to me that you are having a bad day through which you will definately get through because I can also feel a wonderful positive attitute that you have!
And don't forget - we are always here for you!:)
@spangles94 (546)
• United States
25 Apr 07
boy have I ever been there , like the lady b4 me commented i learned to say no , the only hard and REALLY sad thing about it was .. was that by the time that i learned to say no both to stuff for church ( cut waaaay back on alot of stuf i ran ) and family my kids were old enough to see that these ppl were only using us in the first place , they knew about most of te family but we just did the well they are family thing ya know but when ppl from church stopped callin and talkin to us cause i couldnt do as much , i mean after all i do have 4 kids and a husband etc they were kinda well not kinda , they were really hurt . it was a very hard lesson for the kids to learn but i guess they had to learn it some day , least now they know not everyone in church is perfect . i know what ya mean about the family thing too my mom dont talk with us either and once every few yrs she will send the kids a package only adressed to the kids and not even acknowledge me and my husband ,at this point my oldest boys ages 9 and 10 said last christmas when she sent one " mom isnt that kinda rude ??" lol they wanted me to send it back it was kinda funny he ( my 10 yr old ) said she wouldnt even have grandkids to send this box too if it wasnt or you mom ... so i dont know what ill do in he next couple yrs when she snds another package lol maybe by then they will all be in agreement to send it back but i couldnt do that as i have a 7 and 4 yr old daughtrs too and they woulnt understand ....... its sad really sad :(
~M~
but i feel ya ! dont feel sorry for saying no somtimes you will have to
@smiley20903 (495)
• United States
25 Apr 07
Thanks spangles94...Who said it best that family drives u crazy sometimes...I think that I just have to really learn how to say no more and stick to it..At this point in my life I don't want my hair to turn from black to gray with other peoples problems..So starting now I am turning over a new leaf...No will be my new catch phrase....
