I have a theory.......do you agree?
By tinamwhite
@tinamwhite (3252)
United States
April 26, 2007 2:01am CST
I have a theory about the connection between the dinner table and the break down of today's society......read this and then please tell me...do you agree???
When I was a child we always ate our meals around the dining room table, we shared things about our days, laughed often, and maintained a closeness; because, in my opinion, we nutured it everyday. There was no television allowed. Everyone ate at the same time; manners and respect were expected!
My theory is that as people have gotten busier and busier...with different schedules; fewer and fewer families actually sit down and have a conversation over their meals.
There is less and less interaction with our youth causing bigger and bigger "generation gaps"; further breaking down the communication with our youth....they do not get the benefit of our opinions (without anger), hearing about the way it was when we were younger, having the opportunity to openly discuss the peer pressure that they deal with everyday; or the ability to seek advice from us, parents, without having to disturb a television show........interrupt a game on tv.....disturbing us while we are on the telephone or computer.........
Is your family eating in front of the television every night? Do your children have the opportunity to talk to you every day in an enviroment where nothing is really expected from them except to eat and then possibly help with the clean up afterwards???
Am I the only person who feel that this has played a large part in the breakdowm of society today??? Does this make sense to you....are you doing this???
2 people like this
5 responses
@MagdalenaM (681)
• United States
26 Apr 07
Dearest friend, I cannot agree with you more!!!
Poeple today not only miss on bonding over what may be the only octivity they have together (diner at the table) but simply miss out on passing a lot of simple yet essential home education.
I sincerely blame ONLY the parents for that because they permit it; having said that, I know there are many families that work different shift and simply cannot make it for diner or are too tired to make through it in a civilized manner.
There are many things that are implemented at a diner table that are lost by eating in front of the TV and some of them are: manners, the amount of food one eats as in front of the TV one always tends to eat more, what one eats, as many times children when not maned they will eat snacks and of course you miss out on bonding.
I grew up like you - no TV at any meals and sit at the table to eat; I wish more people would make the effort to do these little simple things which are so very important in the up bringing of a child as well as the parent/child relationship.
Best wishes,
Magdalena
@tinamwhite (3252)
• United States
26 Apr 07
Thanks so much for sharing your opinion and viewpoints with me...
I do realize that hectic schedules do make it difficult...but I also wish more people saw what these simple things provided for us as children and why it is costing our children....so much!!!
Warmest wishes to you, my friend. Have a blessed day!
@KissThis (3003)
• United States
26 Apr 07
I would have to agree with you. I understand that families do live hectic lives but I think that we need to slow down and realize what is important to us.
We do allow our children to do after school activities but we don't allow them to interfer with the family rituals. We will either eat and early or late dinner so that we can do this as a family. While I have one child at a practice I will bring the other two children. We normally bring a deck of cards or some flash cards to play games while we wait for practice to be over.
As a paretn I feel we need to make the most of the time that we have with our children. They aren't always going to be living with us. You only get one chance to show them how valuable the family life really is.
2 people like this
@tinamwhite (3252)
• United States
26 Apr 07
I feel the same way....and it is one of the reasons I find myself sitting here on myLot....it is like having my closest friends in the same room (without having to serve refrehments....LOL) and us just brain storming topics to discuss....
1 person likes this
@tinamwhite (3252)
• United States
26 Apr 07
KissThis, I know that your children are learning the valuable lessons of "family" from you. We are friends, and we follow each others discussions to a point, so I really feel like I know you somewhat....I can "feel the love" that you lavish on your children.
I guess, that I am fortunate enough to have a 2-sided perspective of this....as you know, I have 3 grown children plus a young son, therefore, I have extensive experience with this.....it really does make a dramatic difference in the ability to communicate with our children...when you eat meals across the table from one another every day or usually....you can not help but get to know, communicate, and share your life.......
Thanks, my frind. You are so right about how fast they grow up and move on with their lives.....we, as parents, are responsible for setting up their foundation....
Have a blessed day!
2 people like this
@mememama (3076)
• United States
27 Apr 07
I agree with you! Even when my husband is away for work, I make a point of eating meals with my toddler at the table. We do snack on the couch, but breakfast, lunch, and dinner we sit down. Even when I took a parenting class, they said that children who sit at tables with their families have a better vocabulary.
1 person likes this
@tinamwhite (3252)
• United States
27 Apr 07
Mememama, I think that we are all guilty of "snacking" on the couch while on the computer or watching television....
I truly feel that the time that we spend at the table with our families during mealtime is one of the best investments we make for our families.....it taches so many things like: table manners, open communication lines, a better understanding of the people in our family, a sense of importance in spending time together...and many more.
I have never had the benfit of a parenting class--although I have been a mother for almost 30 yrs, have 1 daughter and 3 sons (27, 26, and 4); plus 7 grndchildren ranging in age from 12 yrs old to 1 yr. old......I have learned a couple of things.....LOL LOL (trying to be funny; did you smile????)
I know that your toddler will have a better vocabulary, be able to talk in sentences earlier, be able to put thoughts into words easier......OR that is my opinion...all as a benefit for sharing a meal with their parents.
Thanks for sharing with me.....have a blessed day!
1 person likes this
@babyangie27 (5176)
• United States
26 Apr 07
I have noticed since I moved into a place where I could accually have a dinner table that me and my husband have an easier time talking with his daughter about things.
I remember always sitting at the table with my parents and talking about my day.
I think along with all the busy schedules,there is the tvs,video games,internet,and so many other things.
You are not alone we do need as a society to implament better quality time with our families. There should by a National Family Day where every family finds the time to sit and eat 1 meal together and dicuss their day. It's a start.
@tinamwhite (3252)
• United States
26 Apr 07
Babyangie, I think we should make that a World Wode Family Day.....
I am glad that you are seeing the benefits of this disscussion, first hand....
The idea is so simple, turn everything else off and sharing a meal together with your family.....it opens a whole new world...one that should have been open all along; but appears to me to have gotten lost inthe hussle and bussle of modern hectic life....
Thanks for sharing with me, my friend....I know it will make a big difference in the closeness of your family.
Happy mealtimes! Hugs!
1 person likes this
@speedy1279 (2665)
• United States
26 Apr 07
You are so right. Nowadays families seem to be spending less and less time together. Luckily my family is not one of them. Our lives are based around the family. We never eat in front of the tv and we always eat dinner at the table as a family. It is a shame that so many peoples lives are not family oriented any more. Can you imagine what things will be like 20 years from now, how about 40? I don't want to think about it!
2 people like this
@tinamwhite (3252)
• United States
26 Apr 07
Yes, Speedy, I too am concerned about what it will be like for my young son, my grown children and my grandchildren....I am scaared about what the world may hold for them......
I am glad to hear that your family holds first priority...it does for me as well...
I really do not think that people stop to think about what this simple thing provieded us and the emense benefit it gives our children when we sit around the table, eating and conversing with each other opens the lines of communication and the ability to truly "know" one another..
I appreciate your response, my friend....have a blessed day!
2 people like this
