Arranged Marriages

United States
April 26, 2007 10:35am CST
What are your views on arranged marriages? Is it practiced in your culture?Did you have one and if so do you feel your marriage as far as communicating with your partner is any different then those who married by love?Did it take a while for you to get used to your husband or are you just plain miserable? In my culutre some people still follow by it, of course i wasn't one of them but i know some of my cousins had arranged marriages and they are always complaining
1 person likes this
9 responses
@mrsbrian (1950)
• United States
26 Apr 07
I dont believe in arranged marriages.How can you love someone you dont really know?i know this is an old practice from other cultures but I just dont see it working. I am glad we dont do this in America.
• United States
26 Apr 07
thats the thing it is practiced everywhere it doesn't have to do with the country it has to do with the culture, i remember i was in high school and there were girls from a certain culture who were already married with 2-3 kids and they were only 15 or 16 married to men who were in their 20's as the law in america that is illegal but it is still practiced
@AJ1952Chats (2335)
• Anderson, Indiana
25 Apr 08
It's not uncommon for friends or family to arrange a dating relationship between a couple of people (That's how my cousins, Phil & Sandy, got together, and they'll be married for 42 years this coming September 3!), but it's up to the couple after that. I've even thought that this one man and lady I know would make an ideal couple--and I started thinking that when the woman was 12 or 13 years old. The guy is about 25 years older, but I just considered both of their personalities and have thought that, once the girl became of age, if she had nobody else and he didn't either, I was going to fix them up together. They would, at the very least, be wonderful friends. They're both United Methodists (different churches in the same city) and both have had to deal with epileptic seizures. They're very perceptive and caring people. To this day, I'm still laying plans to have an all-day social and hope that they both show up at the same time and get to know each other. Anyway, it's great for your friends to introduce you to people with whom you might like to spend quality time, but it's up to the couple where to go with the relationship. I remember this neat Greek guy who (before he retired and passed it on to his son) owned a donut shop in Anderson. One day, when this other guy and I were in his establishment and exchanging small talk, he waltzed up to us and introduced us saying that I was a writer and the guy was a photographer, so we should get to know each other! Somehow, I sensed a bit of the romantic matchmaker there. But it didn't turn out that way for Dave and me--but we ended up being wonderful friends! And we have been supportive of each other in our fields.
• Philippines
27 Apr 07
arrange marriage? whew!!! thats a big NO NO NO for me. if you marry because your parents wants this man/woman for you and its your culture then i guess we are going to have too many broken families. we should marry of our choice and because of love more than anything in this world. and we dont practice that culture here in the Philippines.
@cripfemme (7710)
• United States
27 Apr 07
I'm glad we don't have arranged marriages in the USA. I can't imagine my parents, especiall my mom, picking someone for me to spend the rest of my life with. That's a yucky idea to me.
@limcyjain (3519)
• India
27 Apr 07
Mine was an arranged marriage and i have had no problems comminicating with my husband. We were engaged for a year and came to know each other well. I am very happy with my life and have no reason to complain about him except for my mother in law and it could be true in a love marriage too.
• India
26 Apr 07
I do believe in arranged marriages.Maybe because these days even in an arranged match you hardly marry a stranger, there are a couple of meetings and an engagement period and that kind of provides a good start to knowing one another. Sometimes you can hardly know the difference, you meet a match arranged through parents and fall in love instantly. Many of my friends have had an arranged marriage and they complain only as much as i do so...
@Marie2473 (8517)
• Sweden
26 Apr 07
Arranged marriages is not done here. I think that it is wrong and somehow degrading. All people have the right to feel real love, and I am not very sure that real love can grow out of beeing forced. I would never marry someone that someone else had chosen for me, unless i loved him.
@rodeotexas (1153)
• United States
26 Apr 07
I don't like the idea of arranged marriages. I think you should be allowed to choose who you marry based on what you feel and if you love them or not. It's not practiced in my culture and I am thankful for that. I got to choose who I wanted to marry and I wouldn't have it any other way.
@tater03 (1765)
• United States
26 Apr 07
I don't live in a culture where arranged marriages are commen. But my personal opioion on them is for me I would not want someone else to pick out who I am going to spend the rest of my life with. I went to school with someone here in the states that when we graduated she was going back to her home country to get married to someone that her parents had picked out for her when she was born. I never understood that but she seemed to think it was fine. I guess it had to do with the way she had been brought up.