i just paid i swear

Canada
April 26, 2007 8:52pm CST
i'm so tired of hearing this from my ex about his child support. for 2 years it's been on and off payments. sometimes he'd go 5 months with out paying. every time i bring it up he says i just sent them a check last week. what he doens't get is it's also behind and it adds up every month so he needs to pay extra to get it down or pay a full amount every month so it doesn't keep going up. we go through a family responsibility offince (a third party to collect the cheques) and their system gets updated every 24 hours with payments. he always says to me. they just cashed a check last week and i just sent another one. but yet i tell him this doesn't show in the system and i havent' received it yet and it takes only 24 hours. so he's lying to my face that he payd and expects me to beleive him. i'd know if i were receiving money or not and the office would as well. appearently he seems to think he can convince me that i'm wrong and that he is paying. grrr. so annoyed, he owes $1000 and keeps tellingme he's having money problems, well who isn't. so am i and i'm still doing whatever is takes to take care of our daughter.
11 people like this
15 responses
@amydawn11 (906)
• Canada
27 Apr 07
My daughters father gave me 50 dollars 2 yrs ago and 100 a year ago.Thats all, in the 8 years of her life. I have just given up. I hope someday he starts paying so that I can just give it to her for college but i am not gonna hold my breath for it.
3 people like this
• Canada
27 Apr 07
wow, and i bet he thinks he's really helping. it's just sad how they don't realize what it takes to raise a child.
2 people like this
• United States
27 Apr 07
Best of luck to you, maybe it will help with college if he does pay. At least years from now your daughter will be proud of you and know you did all you could for her-- without her fathers help.
3 people like this
• Canada
1 May 07
Thank you. he once started complaining to me about how hard his life is and how he can't get a break. I just looked at him and said are you kidding me, do you really want to have this converstaion with me buddy!..lol..too much eh.
@KissThis (3004)
• United States
27 Apr 07
I am sorry that your ex isn't doing his part.Since he is that far behind can't someone doing something to him? I have a friend who had her ex's back child support sent to collection. If he didn't make a payment plan and keep to it the froze all of his assets. Is that possible for you to do?
3 people like this
@shorva (923)
• Philippines
27 Apr 07
I'm very sorry to hear that. You know my mom, she don't expect from my dad. We are four, one of us is still in college. I guess she's just saving herself from headaches amd heartaches. We know that he's got another family with 3 kids and I must say that he's well off and provided them well but he never gave us a dime to help my mom to feed us. There were times that we would have nothing to eat while his other family, his second family living a luxurious life. There was one time my mom ask for money because she was desperate, my sister was in the hospital, he was very hesitant to give but gave a little bit after a lot of begging. For some reason, eventhough we know how irresponsible he is and not giving us value, my siblings and I don't hate him, we don't have hatred against him. None at all. But we don't consider him special, he's just a biological father to us. Same thing with my mom, i think.
@jenbatres (800)
• United States
27 Apr 07
I know it is frustrating, but just be glad for the little bit of money you do get. When my ex and I split, I was told that I was not eligible for support for my 5 year old daughter, 18 month old daughter, and 3 month old daughter. . . . .I have never received support (When the father collects welfare of disability, they can't be held accountable to support the children). Many times I have worked 2 and even 3 jobs to put food on the table. I know that I am a better person for raising my kids on my own (They are now 4, 5, and 9. Best of luck and enjoy the little bit you do get.
3 people like this
• United States
27 Apr 07
My ex never pays on time. We have to go through the state cause he is not allowed to have contact with me or my daughter. I don't depend on his money cause I never know if its gonna come in or not. I told him if he would just sign his rights away he wouldn't have to pay another penny but he won't do it.
3 people like this
@subha12 (18449)
• India
27 Apr 07
i feel sorry for u. I sud tell him very irresponsible. he not even pays for kids and most of all tell lies. its really bad and offending. I think it is crule of him. As ur are mother u are proving to be most responsible to the child. what to do, keep it on.
@maryannemax (12168)
• Sweden
27 Apr 07
yup. he can't already support financially the kid. worst, he lies about sending money for his daughter. atleast do his job. he can't even be there for his daughter physically. he's such an irresponsible person.
1 person likes this
• United States
27 Apr 07
I know this is hard for you, my ex never paid child support and to this day I don't know how I made it, but I did. Since this third party method is obviously not working and he is so far behind of support why not take him to court and tell the judge that he is still not paying regularly and that the third party method is not working, I am sure there are other methods to get your checks and have them come directly to the court so that if he is late they will put his lazy behind in jail, where he obviously needs to go to realize that he can't continue this behavior.
2 people like this
@vanities (11409)
• Davao, Philippines
27 Apr 07
you are very patient indeed!if hes still not making any move then you have to consult legal advice on what you can do to him to forced to support your child.
• United States
27 Apr 07
I have the same problem me and my husband have two sons but my oldest one is from my first marriage but me and my ex-husband have been back to court I know seven or eight times and my son is just turning eight this year. When the judeg said miss one payment and go to jail I have been getting payments for six months straight knock on wood.
@Michele21 (3094)
• United States
27 Apr 07
Join the club of ex's that never get child support!! My ex was paying on time for a while a few months back (they were taking it out of his paychecks) but I guess he got tired of it so he quit his job. Here in the States if there is a Child Support Order in place through the courts they will track his social security number and find out if he is working. But they can always quit their job or work for someone who will pay them under the table. I would just stop asking about the money, I am sure it is hard being a single mom, I have been there!! It is so hard when you are down to no money and you need things for your child. Hopefully he will grow up and start paying, but my ex doesn't. I don't worry about it anymore because I am re-married to a great guy that takes care of my daughter (who he consideres his own) and our son.
2 people like this
@clary21 (58)
• United States
27 Apr 07
I know what you are going through because I listened to all the excuses my ex used to give me. Finally, I got an attorney that handled the situation for me, and I never went without the payments after that. It's strange how my ex came up with the back child support when the court demanded it. I suppose he did not want to go to jail because he sure did come up with it pretty fast (or maybe his mom helped him out, I'll never know). I had told my attorney, "You can't squeeze blood out of a turnip." My attorney replied, "You might be surprised." Looking back on it, I have to admit that I was totally shocked when the attorney was successful. On one of the trips to court, my ex told the judge that he had 2 younger children to take care of and did not have the money, and the judge simply stated, "This child was here first." I believe it might be in your best interest to take him back to court to get this handled. Usually, when a man is behind on his support, his income-tax return is taken from him and channelled in your direction until he is current on his payments. I wish you the best of luck in collecting from him so as to provide for a better future for your daughter.
@wendee (359)
• Canada
27 Apr 07
WHen I got pregnant I told the father that I didnt want child support, but if I needed somehting I expected him to help me out. And for the most part he has. He knows that he getting off VERY EASY! We are lucky that we have a good relationship and can trust each other
@chertsy (3804)
• United States
27 Apr 07
All that you have written, my brother have told my mom regarding paying her child support. My mom simply said ok to him. The state of Tennessee, told my mom that she should report him to the IRS. They are given his information and what he owes in back child support which is a lot. My parents got back 2 grand because of this. He wasn't happy about it, but oh well he should of been paying. The debt just builds up higher each year, because he rather go to jail than pay. You should see if this will work for you regarding the IRS. That anytime he files a tax return, you will get the money. My mom said all she did was call the place that the child support was going through and they contacted the IRS. It never hurts to see what they say. Your ex and my brother and all the other men that don't want to pay child support should be thrown on a island and made to really work it off. Sending them to jail isn't helping. Does your ex go to jail when those imaginary checks in the mailbox doesn't show up. If not, why doesn't he go to jail. He's breaking the law. Either way, if he still keeps this up, consider the IRS helping you. They helped my parents get back some of what my brother owes. Good Luck.
@lightningMD (5931)
• United States
27 Apr 07
My ex owes me over 29,000 dollars. My kids are no 27 and 25. Every once in awile I will recieve a few checks. Thats when they catch up with him and take it directly out of his pay checks. Then he quits the job and the cycle starts all over again. They told me when he retires they will attach his social security checks.Thats only another twenty years to wait.
@maryannemax (12168)
• Sweden
27 Apr 07
sorry to say this.. but the way you said words on your discussions seemed that your husbands is trying to make a fool out of you. i mean, ofcourse you know how money comes in. you aren't that stup*d to not know anything at all. he is trying to mislead you and trick you. and i am glad that you are not giving in to his talks. just keep fighting for the rights of your child. and prove your husband that you aren't insane to believe his lies. he's so irresponsible. he should try and find more ways... work harder for your daughter... it's his responsiblity anyway to do so. take care...